“Mina, get the fuck out of here!” James roared as he scrambled to find his boots.
His sudden roar seemed to snap me out of it, and I didn’t need him to tell me twice. I spun on my heel and threw myself down the hall, bursting outside and gasping as I breathed in the fresh air. I only paused for a moment before I took off down the road, desperately needing to put as much space between me and the club and those… disgusting… asshole… pigs… as possible. Tears streamed down my face, freezing my skin from the cold, and I quickly punched in the code to leave. I slammed the gate shut and raced down the street towards town. It wasn’t long until the sound of approaching engine’s told me they were coming.
There was absolutely no way I could face any of them now. No fucking way! Diving into the ditch, I scrambled up the side, and raced into the trees. I ran maybe thirty feet, before I quickly flung myself behind a thick mass of dead-looking bushes and some maple trees. Sinking down amongst the dead leaves littering the ground, I crouched on my knees, my arms wrapped around my stomach as I gulped in breath after breath. My lungs burned. So did my throat. And I felt a wave of nausea hit me as my mind reeled from what I’d stumbled in on.
The engines were slowly passing and Shay’s panicked voice screamed my name over and over, and James’ more controlled, deep tone was also calling out for me.
I peered through the forest, making out the flashes of the bikes in the distance as they rumbled past. These men I had known almost my whole life. But for the first time, I wasn’t seeing them as James, Shay, Uncle Shawn and Uncle Marty… They were Sheik, Manic, Bull, and Blade. They weren’t the ones who carried me around piggyback, or tickled me in play. And Cody, Aron, Leif… I hadn’t seen Gavin, but I’m sure he had been there, too. Seeing them all that way, I felt like I didn’t know them at all. None of them. These men were strangers to me.
I dove sideways and threw up as images flashed through my mind… Shay and that girl… my stepdad and the woman on her knees before him… Uncle Marty sniffing that powder that I had no doubt was drugs of some kind… and Uncle Shawn with that girl on the table… all of them. All of it. I gagged and retched again, bringing up my entire breakfast. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d walked in on. What about Billy and Mask? Even Cooler, who would seat me on his lap while he played cards, had his head between a girl’s legs on another couch.
I spat on the ground and crawled back a bit from the mess I’d made.
I began to sob as I sat there on the cold ground, the wind buffeting me a bit as it rushed around the maple tree I leaned back against. I wiped my eyes and nose on my sleeve, knowing I was full-out ugly crying and probably had snot running down my face… but I feel like my entire life with these guys was a lie. How could they be the same men? What exactly is it that these guys do? Oh my God! My poor mother!
Stupid, foolish Mina. Was this what Keenan had warned me about? About not letting them steal my light? Was he worried I was going to get sucked into their dirty, dark world?
No! A voice screamed in my head.
Maybe these guys were happy in their world. It worked for them. That was fine. But it wasn’t mine. I didn’t want to end up like my mum.
I could hear the bikes coming back around and their voices all calling out to me, but how could I bring myself to look at them in the eye after that? I hid behind the tree instead, listening as they passed again. Hopefully, they would return to their clubhouse and forget about me.
So I kept to the woods, headed for town, but I wasn’t going to go home yet. Not until I was ready to face them. Ugh! I didn’t think I would ever be ready. By the time I broke through the tree-line, my hands were frozen and I was shivering uncontrollably. My face felt like it was carved out of ice, my tears now frozen to my cheeks from the cold wind. I ended up at the library, knowing Shay and the others would never step in there, and hid out in a cushy sofa near the back, pulling random books off the shelves to read to pass the time. But no matter how hard I tried to concentrate, I couldn’t get the burning images of what I saw out of my head.
It was dusk by the time I made my way home. I felt numb all over, from both the cold and what I had witnessed today. I didn’t want to see anyone yet, and silently hoped the guys were still out, but as I rounded the corner, I deflated when I saw two Harleys parked off to the side, and all the lights inside the cabin were on. I inhaled a long, deep breath, hoping to keep myself calm. My nose was frozen, as were my toes, and my eyes were stinging from crying. They were probably all puffy and red. I told myself that I needed to be strong. I needed to sound sure of myself when I walked in there and confronted them, and not let them make me feel guilty or bad about my reaction.
Releasing one long, shaky breath, I continued forward. When I was about twenty feet from the porch, I saw Shay’s figure move in the front window, and a moment later, the door flew open.
“Mina!” he cried, sounding like he was the one who got hurt today, and not the other way around. I ignored him as I stomped up the steps and elbowed past. I was about to head down the hall to my bedroom when James’ voice cut through me.
“Mina, please, wait…”
I stilled, hanging my head as I braced myself for whatever bullshit he was about to spew. I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them in the eye. I was too embarrassed and disgusted. Shay slammed the front door shut and hurried in my direction, reaching out like he was about to grab me, but I threw myself back and hissed, “Don’t touch me!”
He froze, his silver eyes pleading. “Sweetness, please, don’t shut me out… not again-”
“I don’t want to hear it! I-I had no idea… I wish I never…” I felt myself choke on my words as I tried to get them out, but I was choking. I had a whole damned speech prepared. I was going to cuss them out, tell them off for being such sick, slimy bastards… but now that I was facing them, I lost all my nerve. I took several, deep steadying breaths, and finally found the strength to raise my head and look at my stepdad in the eye, who flinched back, his cheeks reddening slightly, before I turned to Shay.
“I guess I’m an idiot, huh?” I whispered, “Just a naïve little girl… but my eyes are open now… I get it…” I bit my bottom lip as it wobbled and I knew my eyes were probably shining with the tears I was struggling to hold back. James actually had the decency to look chastised, but Shay’s gaze was unwavering as he listened to me speak. I met his determined gaze just as a tear slipped down my cheek. “I just wanted to bring you guys some cookies… to-to cheer you up… you all have been so stressed and unhappy lately…” my voice finally broke.
“Baby Girl-” James’ voice cracked, too, as he finally spoke up.
“No!” I cut him off, “I don’t want to see either of you right now. I can’t stomach it.” I was about to run to my room when Shay lunges forward and grabs me, restraining me in a bear hug tight to his chest. “Shay!” I shouted, my words muffled against his shirt. My skin crawled from touching him like this when a few hours ago he had that girl… ugh! I felt like all the women and the drugs were transferring to me by this contact. “Shay, put me down! Now! Please, please, don’t touch me!” I cried as I desperately tried to free myself, throwing my head back, tears streaming down my cheeks.