“I’m not even sure where to begin. Let’s see, there was Roman and Julianna, Roman telling me he called my name during sex with her two nights before his wedding—”
“You’re kidding.”
“Would I joke about that? I don’t even want to remember he told me.”
“Gross.” Her face scrunches up and she gags.
“Exactly. Then there was the epic fight between my mom and Nana at dinner one night that completely blew my mind and might have actually improved not only their relationship, but mine with my mom.”
“Holy shit.” She sips her champagne, wide-eyed and in awe.
“Exactly.” I take a much larger, and very unladylike gulp from my glass and cringe as the bubbles slide down my throat. “And then there’s Klaus.”
“The reason you look like a sad puppy.”
I take another drink, trying to fortify myself. Useless. “We had sex,” I admit and my tears are already burning my eyes. “And then he bailed.”
“What? No way. No fucking way would Klaus do that to you.”
“He did. Gave me this whole spiel all weekend about he didn’t want us to pretend to be in love, wanted us to live it. I had some of the best sex of my life, even with all the non-sex work up to the sex stuff—”
“No…”
“Yes.” My chin trembles and my body heats. It has nothing to do with the alcohol slipping through my veins. This is all, one hundred percent embarrassment and shame, memories of Klaus’s body, the way he touched me, the things he said to me. All of it a lie. Or something I read into way too deeply and incorrectly. “And then, I… we made love the morning of the wedding and it wasn’t sex, it was… it was incredible. Passionate.”
I stop, shake my head and wipe away tears.
“What happened?”
“I heard him talking to my friend Adrianna.”
“I remember her. Gorgeous blonde and slightly unhinged?”
“That’s her.” I chuckle despite myself. Becca has visited Charleston with me many times over the years. “Anyway, I saw them at the bar talking so I went to go join them, save Klaus from her if he needed it and instead, I heard him tell her we were just friends.”
“Oh honey.” She pulls me over and hugs me. It’s warm and firm, and she smells like things I can count on and believe in. Something, up until last weekend I would have felt with Klaus, too. “I’m so sorry. Is it possible he didn’t mean it?”
“She asked him. Said it looked like he was in love with me and he denied it. I don’t know why he’d lie to her.”
I sniff against her shoulder and pull back, and what the hell. Why be sober today? I drain the rest of my glass and pour another.
“To be honest, I’ve always thought the same as Adrianna. I mean, the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. I was sure he would have made his move.”
“He did. Apparently, though, he loves me like a friend and just wanted me to get off. It’s so unlike him. It doesn’t make sense and the more I think about it the more my head hurts.”
“Jillian, that boy wouldn’t hurt you and he wouldn’t use you. Not like that. I can’t believe it for a second which means there has to be another explanation. Maybe your dad said something to him? Scared him away?”
“I doubt it. I think Dad actually likes him. And honestly, I don’t want to rehash it. The whole weekend was miserable and he hasn’t texted since Tuesday anyway.”
“Did you respond?”
“No. I have nothing to say to him. Not right now.”
“You two need to talk.”
“Why? So I can get hurt all over again? No thanks.”
I am really going to town on this champagne. If I was in a better mood, I’d probably stop. Like the last time Becca and I got together for brunch, my taste in donuts is waning. Screw men for making me dislike donuts. I grab one and take a large bite, swiping at the cream-filled center left on my lips.
“So… Nana and your mom?”
I’m so thankful for the change in topic. Anything to take thoughts of Klaus away and the mess we’ve brought home with us.
“Get this.” I slap my palms to the counter and tell her everything. The dinner with Nana and my mom. The after-effects. We even get around to talking about the conversation with Roman and Julianna that shall never now be mentioned again. I tell her about mom’s parting words about coming up to visit and how she actually teased me when it came to the limbo contest. We laugh about the rest of it, drinking our way through the three champagne bottles she brought with her and when we pass out on the couches in my living room later, claiming we need a nap, I wake up several hours later to an empty house, a note from Becca saying she headed out earlier after she woke up (and left me a donut), and a hole in my heart that still hurts whenever I think of Klaus.
25
Klaus
“What is it with you? You’ve been a man on a mission for the last week and a half.”
I shrug off Jude’s question with a shrug. As our team’s first-line right winger, he and I are frequently in competition for that role… usually me, competing for his line spot and except for when he was injured a couple years ago, I’ve never been there. Not that I don’t like my line. Our entire team is close, and the line mates tend to be closer. Sebastian especially is like a brother to me but regardless of my friendship with Jude, there’s always a simmering, underlying tension. At any moment, we could change roles. He’ll do anything to be able to stay on the line with his brother and I’ll do anything to be the guy hitting the ice first.
“Nothing, really.”
Jude laughs. “Please. You think you can fool me?”
“I think you’re all sorts of a fool, Taylor.”
“Yeah, but come on. What is it?”
Around us, the team parties at Taylor’s mansion south of the city. He and his wife Kate have been married for two years now and host team events frequently during the off-season. Now the pre-season is only a week away, we’re having one last fun get together.
Where the women are clustered by the pool, on floats or sitting at the edge, dipping their toes in the water. The guys are nearby. Mikah and his wife, Paisley, are taking turns chasing their one-year-old boy Angelo over the patio so he doesn’t waddle into the deep end and Gigi, Sebastian’s fiancée, is doing her own waddling with her growing belly, due to give birth in a couple of months from what he says.
And me? I’m here alone and dateless, without Jillian, and still trying to figure out what in the hell went wrong that last day in Charleston and why she hasn’t returned any of the texts I’ve sent.
It’s driving me crazy, and it’s unlike her. We had always talked daily. Always have, but she made it pretty damn clear before we even left her parents’ house that she was done with anything related to me.
Because we had sex?
Who the hell knows, but it’s making me crazy which means Jude isn’t entirely wrong.
I’ve been at team skates in the morning, busting my ass, skating like I need to earn my spot on the team, like a rookie in danger of being sent back down to the minors instead of secure in my spot.