Chapter Thirteen
Ghost
I spend half the day tied to a fucking chair. A maid finds me sometime after noon and runs back out to get Leon from the desk. Must be because my cock is hanging out for all the world to see.
Leon unties my hands from behind my back, smirking the entire time. So once I’m free, I want to pummel him. With my magic and my fists.
I could take on the wolf, but none of this is his fault. Or Wyn’s. It’s mine. Because after what I’ve done, it’s the least I deserve.
I change into clean clothes, make two calls, and storm out of the hotel. Because there’s only one place that can help right now. Lady Blue Tattoo.
The tattoo shop is located near the Silver Springs cemetery, past O’Malley’s, which has the best pot roast in town. Inside, a slim woman with gray hair piled on her head is reading a magazine on a blue velvet couch. She drops it on the glass coffee table when she sees me and gets to her feet.
“I’m Gray, you must be Ghost.”
I nod. Her name’s unusual, but it definitely suits her. Must be the hair.
“Come on in,” she adds. She leads the way to the second tattoo booth and motions for me to hang my coat on the hook behind the door. “You said on the phone that you wanted something unique. What are we doing today?”
She gestures towards the black chair and I settle in and roll up my sleeve.
“A snowflake over the flame. Right here.” I tap a spot on my wrist.
“You sure you don’t want it somewhere else?” Gray raises one eyebrow in question.
I shake my head. I already know I’m in for a shit-ton of pain. Wouldn’t be here otherwise.
Gray shrugs. “Okay then. Sit back and think of your happy place, or whatever gets you through the day.”
Some people deal with emotions by running. Usually in circles, or through a park. Sometimes, they do it by running away. Others work out at the gym. Get wasted. Do drugs. Me? I get inked. Expensive, sure—but nowhere near as bad as doing cocaine. Kind of puts things in perspective.
I got my first tattoo the day Wyn and I broke up. One tiny snowflake, right above my heart. So I’d always carry a part of her with me, even when I left her behind.
It hurt, but not as much as leaving her did. The sting from the needle wrapped itself around my emotions like invisible magic. Made me hurt a little less. And somehow, watching that snowflake take shape made my decision a little easier.
By the time I was done, I knew I could go on for another day. And next time I missed Wyn so much it hurt, I tattooed another snowflake, a slightly larger one, next to the first. Until my chest was littered with snowflakes. Until I was living in cold-as-fuck Canada, chasing skips across the Great White North. And not in a snowmobile, like Wyn seems to think. People have cars up there, same as everywhere else.
I regretted leaving Wyn more with every tattoo. Almost broke down and went after her more than once. Thought I’d made a mistake until the day a dragon shifter came after me for arresting his mate. But she’d burned down a town filled with humans, so what choice did I have?
It was me or him. And when my wind only fueled his fire, I had to use my gun. Shoot him straight through the heart.
That day, I got flames tattooed on my trigger finger. Had them weave up the back of my hand, around my arm, and over the snowflakes I got for Wyn. So I’d never forget. Because she would never be safe with a guy like me.
I was so sure of it all at the time. So sure I’d get her killed. And I couldn’t lose the love of my life, even if I’d already lost her. This way, at least I knew she was alive. Working a safe job somewhere. Dating. Getting married. Having kids.
But that wasn’t the real Wyn. She’d been running all over Europe instead. Facing criminals far more dangerous and more deranged than the dragons and meese I’d been hired to catch. Wouldn’t have bought any of it if I hadn’t made a call to an agency friend, who confirmed it was all true.
That for two fucking years, she risked her life without me by her side. I wasn’t there to protect her, and she was fine. I could have been there—could have been with her this whole time—if only I’d known. But if I had, I would have tried to stop her. For her own good.
What kind of messed up fuck does that make me? Thinking I was some hero for leaving the girl I loved behind. Commending myself because the only force stronger than my desire for her was the need to keep her safe. All this time, I thought she was alive because of me. That I’d saved her. And all I did was destroy the best thing I’d ever had.
“All right, we’re done. You still breathing?” Gray chuckles as she blots the ink with a paper towel one last time.
“Do another one. Here.” I point at my kneecap.
“Another snowflake?” Gray asks, surprised that I’m eager for another.
“Don’t know. Don’t care,” I snap. I’ve long since learned which parts of my body hurt to ink the most. And on days like today, I need the pain.
“Dude, I’m not going to ink your kneecap when I can see you’re in pain. If you’re going to be a dick about it, the door is over there. My boss will be pissed if I make you scream and scare off the other customers.” She crosses her arms as she rolls backwards on her stool.
“Please. I need this. I… don’t know where else to go.”
“Fine, but I will stop with the first swear that comes out of your mouth. How about something to bite on? Or I could turn on music? I usually like quiet while I work, but it might help you find clarity.”
I nod.
Except as Gray gets to work on another snowflake, clarity doesn’t come. The pain in my heart pulses in time with the music. And when we’re done, I feel like the same Terentius White who stepped through the door.
“One more, here,” I tap my other knee. “Please?” Because if Gray kicks me out, I don’t think I’d survive.
“Wanna talk about it?” Gray asks when my dark outline is done. “Nobody takes this much pain without a bad reason.”
“What’s there to talk about?” I ask. “I had a girl. I lost a girl. She’s better off without me.”
“You sure about that? Because you don’t seem sure about that.”
“I’m sure.” Because instead of protecting her, I nearly killed her instead.
I didn’t even know she was in Silver Springs. Never imagined that of all the towns I could have picked, I’d go with the same one as my Wyn. Or that I’d run into her at that cafe and she’d whip a coffee mug at my balls.
Next thing I knew, she was throwing shit at me. Lots of shit. Way more shit than she could throw when we trained at St. Vincent’s. And she didn’t even need to flick her wrists. Who knew she’d get so powerful? So strong?
I had no other way of stopping her. Of stopping a situation that was quickly spiraling out of control. So I created that sphere. To weaken her. To make her stop. And almost killed a baby—and my mate—instead.
Mate. I don’t know how it happened. Or where the mating bond came from. But I’m not surprised. I’ve always known Wyn was the one.
“Look, we all do stupid shit,” Gray says in response to my grimace. Not because she’s somehow reading my mind. “We hurt the people we love, and sometimes they hurt us. One choice can change someone’s life. Someone left me once, and while I hate his guts, my life would have been very different if he had chosen me. I would have still dealt with all kinds of crap, but we would have dealt with it together.”