“Should I be worried?” I tease as I wrap my arm around his waist. Because, honestly? I’m not. In the least.
Xavi already showed me his article for the Herald, and it’s all about how the Cleanly Den was framed. And the stuff I saw on his computer? It’s on the Gazette’s home page, just like he said.
“Yesterday…” Xavi trails off and swallows nervously.
“Yesterday…”
“When we were at that silver jewelry store by the rink…”
“Bitchen’ Baubles?” I can’t help smiling at the name.
“You said that Leith Rogowsky was also your mate.”
I swallow hard, because even hearing his name hurts.
“So yesterday, before you came over for dinner, I tracked him down.”
“You what?” I feel a wave of panic. Because I don’t want to hear how Leith doesn’t want me… and how little our time together meant to him.
“Don’t worry. I wasn’t jealous. Well, maybe a little.” Xavi smiles shyly at me, reminding me of just how he is. I’m so lucky to have a mate like him.
“You have nothing to be jealous of,” I tell him earnestly.
“I know, Zoe.” He smiles down at me. “It’s super common for women to have multiple mates. Like your friend, Amber.”
For a split second, I picture myself having multiple mates, too. And imagine what life could have been like, if all three guys wanted me. If Ghost hadn’t left me at eighteen. If he and I had worked at the agency together and then moved to Silver Springs. Where I met Leith and Xavi, both of whom wanted me as their mate, too.
But then reality hits. I may have Xavi, but Leith rejected me. And Ghost didn’t come back here for me. He didn’t even know I was in Silver Springs, and this morning was a big mistake. A mistake Xavi knows nothing about. When he finds out I hooked up with another man, he’ll probably leave me, too.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Xavi grabs my hands. “If you’re worried about Leith, it’s okay. He and I already talked.”
I shake my head, because I don’t want to know. “This isn’t about Leith. It’s about Ghost.”
“Ghost.” Xavi frowns at me. “What ghost?”
“Not a ghost. Ghost. My ex. And my mate.” And then I start to cry.
I honestly thought I spent my last tears on Ghost when I was eighteen. Haven’t cried since. Not at the agency. Or since I moved to Silver Springs. Not until the day he rolled back into my life. And now, here I am, standing outside in the snow, sobbing my eyes out.
Maybe it’s just this whole shitty day catching up to me. Or maybe it’s because Xavi’s so open about his feelings that he makes me feel safe to be open about mine. Or maybe my entire life is about to go to hell, and I deserve a good cry.
Xavi wraps me in his arms and holds me close. He whispers sweet nothings against my hair and kisses the top of my head. He makes me feel safe and warm and loved. Like everything’s going to be okay. But how can it, when Xavi is the best part of me and he might not want me anymore?
For a second—a minuscule, split-second—I consider not telling him. I could just pretend this morning with Ghost never happened. How would Xavi ever find out? Especially if Ghost takes a hint and leaves town. But I just can’t betray Xavi, even if it breaks my heart.
“What did Ghost do to you?” he demands, completely misunderstanding the reason for my tears. “Leith and I will find him and make him pay for hurting you.”
“Leith wouldn’t care.” I give a self-deprecating laugh. “And you’re not going to care either.”
“Of course I care. How can you say that?” Xavi grabs my hands in his. “Just tell me what happened so we can fix this.”
So I take a deep breath. And then a second deep breath. Then a third. “This morning, after I left your place, I ran into Ghost. And we… hooked up. We didn’t have sex, but we… did the triple M.”
“The what? Did he… force you?” Xavi looks horrified.
I look down at my boots and shake my head. “He didn’t. I mean, kind of, at first, but he stopped when I said no. But I wanted to keep going. And I thought you betrayed me, and I was hurt and then… Ghost and I hooked up.”
Xavi doesn’t say anything. When I finally summon the courage to look at him, he stands there, as still as ice, and stares at me.
“X-Xavi?”
“So…” he says slowly, “this morning, when you thought I wrote that article about you, you hooked up with Ghost, who is also your mate?”
I nod.
Xavi stares at me. Just stares. And I realize this is it. He’s going to walk away.
Tears stream down my face as I wait for the other shoe to drop. Or boot. Because it’s freezing outside, and my tears sting almost as much as my heart.
Xavi clears his throat. He opens his mouth and then closes it again. I think I’m going to be sick.
“Zoe…” he finally says my name, slowly, drawing it out.
I take a shuddering breath.
“Can you…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Can you explain why you’re crying?”
I take a step back. “Explain why I’m crying? Because I’m falling for you! I can’t lose you, Xavi. I didn’t mean to cheat. I wasn’t thinking. I’m so, so sorry! And I can’t imagine a world without you, but you’re going to dump me and I can’t… I can’t…” I let out a sob.
“Zoe!” Xavi wraps me in his arms. “I’m not going to dump you.”
“You’re not?”
“I’m not.” He pulls back and starts wiping my tears away with his sleeve. “He’s your mate. I can’t fault you for wanting to be with him, too.”
“I don’t. We’re not together. It was just… a momentary lapse in judgement.” And then, I tell him everything. From the moment Ghost and I met at St. Vincent’s, to what he did during exams, to how he walked up to me at lunch and said we were over. Just like that. Then, I tell him about what happened at Jewels Cafe and at the Silver Steins Brewery, and how this morning, he convinced me to go to his hotel.
“And that’s when we did the Triple M.”
“Zoe?”
“Yeah?” My cheeks flush.
“What’s the… Triple M?”
I open my mouth and close it a few times. And then I decide to show him. By using my magic to make his boxers cup his cock and give it a little rub.
“What the turducken?” Xavi grabs the front of his jeans.
“Sorry. Sorry. I should have warned you. But turducken?” I start to laugh.
“I got that one from Aurora. She’s my… um…” I feel a wave of jealousy until he adds, “therapist.”
“Oh.” I relax and start to laugh as Xavi tells me all about the Peek A Boo with the ice block incident.
“But, Zoe, if I ever run into this Ghost, I’m going to ice block on him for hurting you.”
“Thanks.” I smile.
“I’m glad at least Leith is a decent guy…”
“No, he’s not. He’s an ass,” I snap, then instantly feel bad. “Okay, that’s not fair. He’s not an ass. He just wasn’t interested in me, that’s all. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. It just… hurts.”