She pats my shoulder, but her words only make me feel worse. Because she’s absolutely right. And if I’d stuck around, I could have been there to help Wyn. And we could have dealt with all the crap together.
Now, Wyn hates my guts, like Gray hates her ex. Which makes me think the two of them could be great friends.
“Is there any way he could win you back?” I ask Gray. Because maybe, just maybe, I could get Wyn back, too.
“I hear groveling works. Otherwise, you could try a heartfelt apology.”
Except how do I do either one when Wyn won’t even listen? First time I tried, we destroyed a cafe. Second time, the mating bond freaked me the hell out. Made me think that if any of the criminals I put away came after me, they’d harm her. And today, I spent half the morning tied to a chair. Totally worth it, in my books, but she’s still just as pissed as she was before I made her come.
I need to get her attention somehow. Flowers? Jewelry? Chocolates? Is any of that shit really going to cut it after all the pain I caused? And the years I wasn’t there?
I can’t think of anything I can give Wyn that she wants. That she doesn’t have. Except maybe the thief. A thief I couldn’t catch. Because the clue I told Wyn I found? Doesn’t exist. I just wanted to get her alone. Fuck, it was good, getting her alone. But things could be so much better if I just get her that thief. Emphasis on if.
What ever made me think I could be a detective? That shit’s nothing like catching skips. At the agency, I had an entire team. Encrypted emails and calls telling me everything I needed to know.
Catch the train at three o’clock.
Your target will have red hair.
Drive east on the 401.
Take the next exit and look for a red van.
But I haven’t got any other marketable skills. So I posted a detective ad on Screech, and next thing I knew, I was meeting Julian Wade at O’Malley’s and following him to Jewels Cafe.
I’d have returned his deposit by now if the thief didn’t mean a lot to Wyn. But I’ve tried. Fuck, I’ve tried. Interviewed everyone who got robbed. Pored over my notes during every waking moment since I ran into Wyn. And so far? Nothing. Big fat nothing.
“There’s only one thing Wyn wants, and it’s not something I can give her.”
“Let me guess. Kids, a family?” Gray asks.
Which is the furthest thing from the truth. Because having both—either—with Wyn would make me the luckiest man in the world. But it’s also the one thing I’ll never have. Not when she’ll never want anything to do with me, even if I am her mate.
Suddenly, I want to shout at Gray to tattoo the top of my foot. The palm of my hand. My ribs. My hip where it dips in and there’s only bone. Because it’s over. Wyn and I—we were always over. Since that day at St. Vincent’s, when I broke her heart, and mine too.
I might as well pack my bags and start over in another town. So I’m not always reminded of what I lost. Of what I stupidly gave up.
Because what other choice do I have? Keep looking for a thief I doubt I’ll ever find? Or beg Wyn to take me back when I’ve got nothing to give?
Chapter Fourteen
Zoe
“You’re not really going back to the agency, are you?” Mini asks after Riley leaves.
I shake my head. “No. Yes. Maybe?”
“Seriously?” Mini rolls her eyes at me. “Do you have a death wish?”
“No, I don’t have a death wish.” I roll my eyes right back. “And why not go back? I was actually good at that job. I made the world a better place.”
Mini raises an eyebrow.
“I mean, look at Snowball.” I gesture at my pet, who’s curled up on the couch between us. “She was living in a cage. And he didn’t feed or bathe her, poor thing.”
Snowball lets out a small whimper, and Mini scoops her up and gives her a hug. “You poor little Snow baby. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Snowball starts to purr, and I lower my voice. “The vampire who made her was building some sort of army. Had cages and cages of fuzzies—bunch of other new species, too—but most didn’t survive.”
Snowball lets out a hiss, and Mini shakes her head.
“Not an army,” she tells me.
“Then what?” I ask.
“Food.” Mini cuddles Snowball closer. “Snowball says they were basically lab rats.”
“He was eating fuzzies?” I gasp.
“Drinking their blood.” Mini shudders. “He couldn’t accept what he’d become, so he was trying to create an alternate food source. So he wouldn’t have to keep from biting humans.”
“And he made round balls of fluff?” I shake my head. “He really was insane.”
“I guess I sort of get why you’d want to go back,” Mini says.
I sigh. “They have more than enough agents. There was a line of supes wanting to take my place. But… the agency wants me.” And none of my mates do.
I feel a lump form in my throat and gesture for Mini to hand me my comfort fuzzy. Snowball settles on my lap, but my heart still hurts.
Xavi was only interested in me so he could get information for his stupid article. Leith was so done with me he shifted into a bird to get away. And Ghost—Ghost will always be the guy who sold me out so he could get an agency job. But the agency helped me forget Ghost, and now it can help me forget Xavi and Leith, too.
“Will you watch Snowball for me?” I ask Mini. “I can’t take her on missions, and she seems to like you.”
I expect Mini to say yes, but the witch shakes her head. And just when I was starting to like her, too.
I sigh. “What if I pay you? And let you stay here, free of charge?”
“Look, it’s tempting. It really is. I love Snowball, and this apartment. But, no.”
“Seriously?” I snap. “Why am I even talking to you? Don’t you have hair to brush?”
“At least I brush my hair,” Mini snaps back. Then groans. “Look, I didn’t mean that. Force of habit. And I can’t watch Snowball because I think you’re making a mistake.”
“Why do you even care? You barely know me.”
“True.” Mini examines her unmanicured fingernails. “I guess you can do what you want. I just don’t think you’ll be happy there.”
“It’s not like I’m happy here.” I tighten my grip on Snowball. “Do you ever wonder if happiness is just something that’s meant for other people?”
“I’m always happy.” Mini takes a stick of gum from her pocket—does she have an endless supply?—and pops it in her mouth.
“I was always happy, too. Until I wasn’t.” I glance down at my hands. “Before my parents died, then at my last foster home, and again at St. Vincent’s.”
“Is that… a convent?” Mini snorts.
“It’s the agency’s training academy.” I chuckle, then swallow hard. “It’s where I met Terence—Ghost. I thought things were perfect, and then he dumped me.”
“Asshole.”
“Ghosthole.” I struggle to fight back tears. “I don’t think I ever got over him, but I accepted it. And I thought I could be happy in Silver Springs. But maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”