Milan furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"
"After Matthew died…after the Pride Bombing…it changed me. It changed our friendship. You guys were there for me, but…it was different. I couldn't give back."
"And we understood." Milan put a gentle hand on Calix's thigh. "We all irrevocably changed that day."
Milan had lost fellow NYPD officers, friends. He'd been too far away to get hurt, but he'd seen the aftermath, and it had impacted him as well. How could it not?
"I didn't mean to keep you at a distance." Calix swallowed away the lump in his throat.
"You didn't." Del's tone was firm. "What you did was focus on yourself, and we both understood."
"I felt frozen…and now with Rhett, it's like he's brought me back to life."
"I like him already," Milan said. "And apropos, he's super cute and totally fuckable."
Calix spluttered a laugh. From anyone else, those words would've been inappropriate, but this was Milan—direct, a little crude, and always chasing tail.
Del groaned. "Can we not have these kinds of conversations in this room? Old Abe would have a fucking heart attack if he knew."
Milan scoffed. "As if we're the first queer people in this room. I don't think so. Besides, I think it's past time the White House got a little more down with the rainbow. Speaking of which, did I tell you about the little jailbait cop Coulson and I talked to?"
Calix howled so hard he had to hold his sides, and his headache disappeared. As much as he wanted to be with Rhett, this was where he should be right now, reconnecting with his two best friends.
34
They'd shared a quiet dinner Rhett had cooked for them at Calix's house. He loved cooking for Levar, but seeing how much Calix enjoyed his meals had brought a much deeper dimension to it. It felt like he was taking care of him, and that was a whole new experience he embraced with his entire being.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Your risotto with butternut squash was the best I've eaten in a long time," Calix said when they were lounging on the couch.
"Levar was complaining I don't cook for him as much anymore," Rhett said with a smile.
"I don't want you to neglect your friendship with him."
"I'm not, but just like I had to accept him spending less time with me since he met Henley, this is one of the consequences of me having a…" He stopped. What were they, exactly? They'd never said the words, and he didn't want to jump the gun.
"Boyfriend," Calix said firmly. "I'm your boyfriend."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
Rhett melted against Calix's chest. His boyfriend's chest. Oh, he liked the sound of that. "Boyfriend is such a juvenile word at times. We need a different word for someone who's older, like—"
Oops. That didn't come out right.
"Older like me? That was what you were going to say, right?"
"Erm… I meant it as a compliment. Older men are sexy. You're really sexy. Hot. And I'm gonna stop talking now because I'm digging myself into an ever-deeper hole…"
"Oh, I liked the part where you said I was hot and sexy…" Calix teased him.
Rhett leaned back, meeting Calix's eyes, which were dancing with laughter. "You are."
"How sexy am I? You know, on a scale of one to George Clooney."
"Like, a Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Or a Patrick Dempsey?"
Calix grinned. "Good save, sweetheart."
Rhett beamed. Crisis averted. Not that he thought Calix would've been genuinely upset with him. In fact…maybe he could use this to his advantage. Play it up a little. Butterflies took flight in his stomach, but the idea turned him on as well.
"You know what I like about you being more experienced than me?" He peeked at Calix from beneath his lashes.
"What's that, sweetheart?"
"You're my first in everything…and you're such a good teacher."
"Mmm." Calix practically purred.
"I couldn't have wished for a better man to introduce me to how amazing sex could be… You made it magical." Would he put it on too thick if he batted his eyelashes? It was worth a try, right? He patted Calix's biceps. "No one could've made me feel as good as you do…"
"Damn right." Calix's voice was thick with satisfaction, and Rhett loved it.
He blinked at him again, fighting to keep his face all innocent. "Do you think you might teach me something new? I'm so eager to learn…"
Calix's laugh boomed through the room. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm proud of you. Look at you, playing me like a pro."
Rhett grinned. "Did it work?"
Calix pushed himself off the couch, then held out his hand to Rhett. "It sure did. Let's move this to the bedroom, shall we? I'd like to keep the couch clean, and I intend to make a mess with you…the best kind of mess."
Rhett's cock perked up, and he placed his hand in Calix's. "Lead the way, teacher."
Calix was already kissing him before they'd even crossed the threshold of his bedroom, and he walked them backward until they stumbled onto the bed. And Calix really did have magical gifts. Rhett found himself naked, his body pressed against his boyfriend's, and he couldn't even remember when and how he'd gotten rid of his clothes.
"Let the master show you, baby…" Calix winked as he pushed Rhett onto his back. "Mmm, so pretty…so gorgeous. What do you want to learn tonight, sweetheart?"
"Anything… I trust you."
He did. He so did.
Calix hummed-purred again and lowered himself next to Rhett. He kissed the soft spot under his ear, his neck, his collarbone and slowly moved down his body. His nipples received special attention, and how had he never realized how damn sensitive these could be? Calix sucked them gently, then scraped them with his teeth, and they stood for attention like little soldiers.
He kissed the crease of Rhett's elbow, his warm lips leaving a tingling trail down his arm, toward his fingers. He pressed soft kisses to the tips, then sucked his index finger into his mouth, swirling around it with his tongue. Rhett's cock jumped at the suggestive gesture. Would he…? Calix had promised him he'd show him how to give a good blow job, but they hadn't gotten to it yet.
Calix smoothed his palm over Rhett's chest, down his stomach, making him quiver. He'd never expected sex to be this intimate. Stupid, of course, but his associations had been all about pleasure and maybe a little dirtiness and messiness, but not this…this reverence. The look of admiration on Calix's face, the awe in his eyes as he explored Rhett's body.
He lay spread out on the bed like a starfish, but he didn't even feel self-conscious. Calix left no room for that with the way he worshiped Rhett's body, with his eyes, his hands, his mouth. Every cell in his body sang with pleasure. Rhett allowed Calix to push his legs wider, opening him up even more until the cold air skimmed over his hole. And still he didn't feel ashamed. How could he when Calix growled like a hungry wolf and eyed him as if he was his favorite meal?