“It’s okay,” I tell him. “Consider it forgotten.”
“Just like that, huh?”
I shrug.
“What can I say, I’m generous with second chances,” I reply, cocking my head to the side. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Seeming to contemplate the idea, he looks away. A moment later he leans back against the headrest and glances at me from the corner of his eye.
“Remember a couple of months ago told you my brother, Frankie, got himself into a jam?”
“The broken condom.”
“Yeah,” he grunts, shaking his head. “Fucking idiot.”
“You never mentioned it again,” I add when he doesn’t say more.
“That’s because there wasn’t anything to talk about it until today,” he replies, turning to me. “Guess who’s going to be an uncle?”
My eyebrows pinch together with confusion as I try to do the math.
“She’s pregnant?”
“Three months,” he confirms.
“And she just found out?”
“Oh, no,” he laughs. “That’s where the story gets better. They’ve known for a while. Frankie just didn’t say anything to me.”
“But he called you when he thought it could be a possibility. Why wouldn’t he tell you when he found out for sure?”
“They didn’t want anyone to know because they didn’t want to risk her father finding out.”
“Shit,” I wince, remembering Frankie’s girlfriend is the district attorney’s daughter. “Ritzer.”
“Yeah, fucking Ritzer,” he mutters.
“Well, did he find out? Is that why he told you?”
“No, he told me because he needs money to get her to a doctor. He’s afraid if she goes under her insurance, her father will get the bill. The kid can’t wrap his dick properly, but he can cover his tracks.”
“She hasn’t been to a doctor yet?”
He shakes his head.
“Your brother is aware he can’t hide this forever, right?”
“Oh, please, the kid is so fucked they need a word to describe what he is. They think if they wait until she’s five months her father won’t be able to say shit. He doesn’t realize by the time she’s fucking five months he’ll be eighteen and her father can lock him up for statutory rape.”
“How old is she?”
“Fucking sixteen.”
“Jesus,” I whisper. “What a mess.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “Anyway, that’s why I’m all fucked up. I really didn’t mean to take it out on you, Lace. For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to knock the socks off your husband,” he says. He adds a reassuring wink and I smile in return.
“You don’t think I look like a hooker?”
He shakes his head.
“You look beautiful. Now, what do you say we burn some rubber and get you to your man?”
“Let’s put the pedal to the metal.”
Without another word, he starts up the car and slowly peels back onto the highway. Five exits later, he veers off the Garden State Parkway and follows the GPS to the rehab center. All my insecurities return the minute Nico pulls in front of the main building.
“This only works if you actually get out of the car,” Nico says softly as I stare out the window. My hand moves to the door handle and freezes. I can’t move. I can’t even breathe.
“Lace?”
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whisper.
“You don’t know how to do what?”
Turning my head, I look at him. I have no doubt I resemble a deer caught in headlights but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m terrified and anxious and a million other things.
“What if he decides he doesn’t want this anymore?”
Nico’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.
“What are you even saying right now?”
“He’s clean and sober,” I tell him.
“You’re losing me…wasn’t that the whole point of this?”
Frustrated, I close my eyes.
“Yes, but a recovering addict changes in a lot of ways and the things they loved while they were high aren’t always the things they love, sober.”
“Says who?”
“I’m a drug counselor, Nico,” I cry, desperate for him to see my point.
“Ex-drug counselor and maybe that’s true, maybe Blackie won’t be fond of some of the things he once was but that does not apply to you. You’re his wife, the mother of his child. You’re fucking everything to that guy.”
“I’m acting crazy, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, like…Jack level crazy.”
Exhaling a deep breath, I look back at the building.
“Okay, I’m going to do it. I’m going to go in there.”
“Okay, good idea.”
“Right now,” I continue. “I’m going to march through those doors, meet with his counselor and then I’m going to waddle my way straight to my husband and everything is going to be perfect.”
“That’s right,” Nico agrees.
“Everything is going to be perfect, right?” I whisper, snapping my attention back to him. He reaches out and touches a hand to my cheek.
“Beyond perfect.”
“Okay, I’m going for real this time.”
“Go!”
“Jesus, you don’t have to yell,” I mumble as I push open the door. It takes me a second to maneuver myself out of the car because, hey, short, fitted dress, maybe you weren’t my best idea. Slamming the car door shut, I make my way towards the building. It’s far from a march but I still silently rejoice when I stand in front of the reception desk and give my name.
Soon a woman with wild red hair walks up to me. She’s wearing bell bottoms and t-shirt that reads ‘groovy’ and has the most warm and welcoming smile.
“Oh my God, you’re even more beautiful than I imagined,” she says as she blatantly rakes her eyes over me from head to toe. “Love the boots,” she comments. “And whoa…holy boobs! Are they yours?”
I open my mouth to respond but the words get lost on my tongue. She waves a hand dismissively.
“It doesn’t matter. Everyone’s getting them done these days. Anyway, there are a couple of things we should—”
This woman, as welcoming and odd as she is, she has my head spinning and I quickly interrupt her.
“I’m sorry, who are you?”
“Where are my manners?! I’m Dominic’s counselor, Sunny.”
I try to recall the last time I heard anyone refer to Blackie by his God-given name, but admittedly I can’t. I do love the sound of it, though, and it makes me wonder if he still cringes when he hears it.
“Shall we?”
Focusing, I manage to nod. Sunny leads me down a corridor and starts to fill me on Blackie’s recovery and some of the treatments he’s been engaging in. Lastly, she advises me to save any resentful feelings I have towards him for when he makes amends and encourages me to make today’s visit about reconnecting with one another.
“I think that’s it. Do you have any questions for me?”