Shit.
I wanted to cry.
Despite everything Gavin was to me, he had been my friend.
“Come on, sis. Let’s get this over with.”
I glared at my brother. He was smiling. He was sadistic that way; he enjoyed the burn that came with working out. And people said I was the freak in the family. Right. What family since it was just him and me now since our grandparents were old. The first line in the Script’s “Breakeven” was playing on repeat on my head as I tried and failed miserably to keep up with my brother’s pace.
My lungs burned with how out of shape I was. Had I ever enjoyed working out? I’d joined dance as a way to spend time with Gigi when the cheer team rejected me. Now looking back at it, I did way more for my so-called best friend than she ever did for me.
“What are you doing here?” His deep tone growled next to me.
Fuck.
I missed a step, tripped, and fell on my face.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Gavin was here. I didn’t know why I’d let myself feel a faux sense of security.
My knee hit the floor, and then my body rolled to the side where I lay as a few guys started to laugh. I closed my eyes tightly as if that was going to make this any better.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I said defensively. I sat, not meeting Gavin’s stare, but I knew he was looking at me because I could see his feet in front of me.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” he snapped. “What are you doing here?”
“Sunbathing,” I mumbled as I got off my ass.
I heard Gavin snort. I still didn’t look at him. He wasn’t the same guy I’d known before because old Gavin would have offered me a hand to get up.
“Scarlett,” he said.
I took a deep breath before I turned to look at him. At the party, leaning against a wall, he’d looked good, but here in workout gear and his angles still harsh, he looked godlike. Like Nick, he had on shorts and a sports t-shirt, except on Gavin it looked much better. He only continued to talk when he had my full attention.
“I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
Ouch.
“Damn, you sound so hot right now.” He groaned. “You feel fucking better.”
I shook my head, ridding myself of memories that I rarely let myself get sucked in by. Gavin had every right to hate me. I looked up at him, and it seemed silly to think he looked like a warrior.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” I spat back.
Gavin’s eyes flashed, but I couldn’t decipher the meaning. Before I could say anything, Nick came back.
“Are you okay, Scar? Saw you kiss the floor.” He grinned at me. “Guess seeing Gav after a long time shocked you, didn’t it?”
My cheeks turned red. I felt the heat on them.
Someone needs to smack some common sense into my brother because he’s clueless.
“I’m going home now,” I mumbled and started to walk away.
“Uh, Scar,” my brother yelled after me.
I turned around, stopped to look at him.
“I drove here.”
But of course he did.
“Then take me back.”
Nick looked at me and Gavin, but didn’t comment. He started to walk past me, and I was going to follow, but fuck that. I turned around to catch Gavin still watching me. I took a step closer to him, and he seemed to stand taller.
“I didn’t come here for you,” I said.
His jaw ticked.
“If there’s one thing I’m sure of, Scarlett…” He let my name hang in the air while he hissed at me.
It was a disaster, and toxic, everything I swore I wouldn’t revert to, but I couldn’t move.
“…You never did anything for me.” He looked at me, from my pulled-up hair to my sneakers, and walked away.
In a way, it felt like old times, except the animosity that was between us had turned into something much more hateful. We were still two halves that would never fit, and this was a reminder that we never would.
Eleven
“Hey, man, are you okay?” Quincy asked me before we started to run drills.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
Quincy was a little taller than I was, African American, green eyes, and the number one recruit. He smirked at me.
“I heard what happened at the party.”
“Jeff has a big mouth,” I said.
“So, the fine as hell female that left—”
“Fuck you,” I spat as I pushed him back.
Quincy still looked relaxed. He was easygoing, and nothing fazed him.
“Man, I can have any bitch I want. Just make sure your head is in the game. I need this, and so do you,” my quarterback said.
He was right; we both needed to have our head in the game for this season. Both of us were going to declare for the draft. Neither of us wanted to do it sooner without getting our basic education out of the way. Quincy said he wanted something to fall back on after he retired, and I knew this job was risky and it all could get taken away in the blink of an eye. I’d worked too hard for this, and nothing would stand in my way. Especially not Scarlett or the demons she brought with her presence.
I got lost in the field, pushing my body to its limit. I couldn’t control what went on around me, but I could control my body and my game. My parents wanted me to be successful. They were proud I’d made it this far, but they still thought that shooting all my dreams in football wasn’t smart. They wanted an education, and I agreed. It was the only reason why I hadn’t declared yet. All the chess pieces had to align and, well, they finally had.
“Dunn, get your head in the game!” Coach yelled.
I inhaled, then exhaled and pretended like Scarlett didn’t look like temptation in the field. After scrimmage ended, I headed for my shit and went home.
The first day of school felt different this time. It should have been because this was my last year of school or the draft coming up. But no. It all led back to her. It always had since I was thirteen. I walked, and people patted my back or called my name. Girls sent me flirty smiles and waves. Here, I was a god; it wasn’t so different from high school. I played ball, and I played it well. It had girls gagging for me, trying to lock me down for popularity or a secure future—all of them but one.
Here I went again thinking about her. When she’d given herself to me on prom night, I thought things were finally looking up. That night was the first time I’d felt something in my gut when fucking a girl. It was the first time I hadn’t wanted to rush to finish. I knew Scarlett was in pain, but she’d held on to me like I was her fucking lifeline. With every thrust of my hips, she cemented herself deeper into my being. Every whimper from her lips, and I knew it was something I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. I thought I had more time to dip between her thighs and taste her, to give her pleasure beyond measure as she was doing for me. I woke up sated, and hard, happy, and at the same time, remorseful. There she was: so beautiful, yet so fucking sad. I wanted to make it all better, trying not to think about the fact that she’d almost drowned. I was young, and I’d fucked the girl I’d had a hard-on for the longest time. I hadn’t realized she’d needed help.