“You like that?” he asked in a husky tone.
He was back above me, his face a few inches from mine. His finger was moving in a circular motion against my most sensitive part, and all I could do was nod. It felt like I was on fire, one I wanted to be consumed by. His chest rose and fell as his fingers moved faster, and when I came, I opened my mouth to moan, but he was there to swallow my cries. My hips kept jerking after I came because he was still touching me.
“I want to lick your pussy, baby, but I need inside you more,” he said, asking for my permission.
“Please,” I said as I opened up more for him and cupped his cheeks. “Just do it.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Scar,” he whispered as I felt his hardness at my entrance.
It was foreign, but I wasn’t scared. Not with Gav.
“You make me feel,” I said. “Please, Gavin, make me feel.”
That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed because he pushed inside me slowly. It burned as he stretched me. My body was slick and ready for him, but it still adjusted to his length and girth.
“Fuck, you feel like heaven,” he said before he stopped.
We looked at each other, our eyes locking as he broke my innocence. Tears came to my eyes as the pain spread. He dipped his head and kissed the side of my eyes where water had leaked. Gavin moved slowly, in and out, and I held on to him.
Gavin stopped deep inside of me, and he held my gaze.
“It’s always been you,” his grave voice confessed.
His admission spread through my body, straight to my soul, and I moaned, barely holding back that I felt the same.
It was wrong, reckless, but I didn’t think I’d have it any other way.
“Fuck,” he cursed before he pulled out and finished on my stomach.
He then kissed my lips and my forehead. He used his shirt to clean me up. Then after a few minutes, we did it all over again.
And again, until the sun started to come out.
I gave my body to Gavin Dunn, wishing like hell it could have been my heart.
Sneaking out on him was hard.
Hearing that he and Gigi were still together was harder.
As if one betrayal wasn’t enough, he told Nick about my almost drowning. One meltdown was already one too many for my brother, and he had me committed.
Gavin Dunn was my curse, even when he ended up being my salvation.
Present
Ten
There is nothing in the world that hurts worse than a broken heart.
Bones break and mend. Skin scars and fades.
A heart echoes with the pain. And mine still remembered Gavin. He was a part of my life, and I was back where I left things off three years ago. It was like time “healed” me and dumped me in a vortex of unresolved emotions.
Sleep was hard to come by last night. I tossed and turned, not able to find comfort. It wasn’t fate that brought Gavin and me together again; the college where Nick worked was close to where we’d grown up. Nick had finally gotten the coaching position of his dreams because of him—because Gavin made it possible. He couldn’t have known that with Nick, I would come along. Not after all these years.
The morning light peeked through my windows, and I knew I should get up and start my morning before I got sleepier later. If I let it, this numbing feeling would take over me, and all I would want to do was lie around and sleep.
For the first time in years, I wondered what had happened to Dylan and Jordan. To the people who were close to me—or as close as I allowed after my parents’ deaths. I didn’t have much time to wonder when my phone started ringing.
“Seriously? It’s fucking early,” I whined as I answered the phone.
My brother chuckled. “You sound awake. Come on, meet me at my place.”
I groaned, but still got out of bed.
“Give me twenty.”
“Ten,” he answered back.
Twenty minutes later, I was knocking on Nick’s door. He lived in a charming ranch-style home that had more than enough space for me, but this was college, and the last thing anyone needed was to live with their brother. I was just lucky that Audrey had answered my phone call after so many years and she had space for me. Well, I was feeling hopeful about it until last night when she lied to me. At least he had been alone and not with Gigi.
“You took your time.” My brother’s deep tone interrupted my thoughts.
I jumped back, startled that I didn’t hear him opening the door. Nick was wearing black running shorts, with a snug-fitting white t-shirt and white running shoes. Nick liked his sneakers; therefore, I had a nice collection too. He gifted me a pair every Christmas. He also liked to stay active and in shape, so he forced me to be active and in shape as a way to get me out of the house.
“You’re lucky I even came,” I told him as I watched him walk to his car.
When he was in the car, he motioned for me to get inside.
“Umm, where are we going?” I asked because here I thought we would run around his neighborhood.
“We’re going to run laps.”
“I know,” I said slowly but still made my way to the car.
I had barely got in the car when my brother answered.
“We’re running around the field.”
My heart stopped.
“The field? Is there like a jogging field?” I tried to grab the door handle and open it, but Nick was already backing out of the driveway.
“Seat belt,” Nick barked at me.
After my parents died, we were both sticklers for them, but right now, I was shaken. My brother was taking me to the last place I wanted to be at. My rule was simple: nothing football-related because football led to Gavin, and Gavin always led to heartbreak.
“I should go home, try to sleep,” I mumbled.
My brother gave me a side look. I knew I was acting weird, but he could never know why. It was better that way—talking sex to your guardian was weird as fuck.
“You’re up, and your therapist said to keep a hobby, something that takes your mind off things.”
I swear I thought my therapist had a crush on Nick. He was still youngish, but he’d grown up quickly once Mom and Dad died, so he was mature and had his shit together. Unlike me, who was doing a business major just because I was good at math and shit.
“There’s, like, no practice, right?”
“Nah. There was a party last night, so I doubt anyone will be there until later today.”
Oh yeah, I knew all about the party.
“I need to get friends,” I whined, and my brother laughed.
“Do you like living with your friend? What was her name? Audrey?”
I rolled my eyes as my brother parked. He was the worst with names. I looked at the field like it was going to pop out zombies or something.
“She’s nice. Her friends are cool,” I mentioned, not adding that he probably would see more of them than I would.
I walked behind my brother and rubbed my hands against my crimson joggers. Most of my life, I spent not caring what anyone thought of me. As long as I felt comfortable I was fine. But at this moment, I wondered if I looked okay. Shaking my head, I followed my brother to the football stadium.
I’d been to games before, but never here. I wasn’t prepared for how small and insignificant I would feel in the vast stadium. Reality hits you when you least expect it. I hated to admit it, but football practice had been one of the only safe places I could watch Gavin. Watching him play was magical. He never looked more at peace or like he belonged than when he was running across the field and leaping in the air to grab the ball. He had done it. He was on his way to the big leagues.