I glared at my president while Scarlett timidly waved at him. With her hand in mine, I introduced her to my frat brothers, showed her around, and then walked her up to my room. The staircase leading up to the second floor had the most recent class pictures. Scarlett paused when she found my freshman-year picture. Her hands traced over my features. Then she paused, going over another frat brother. I expected her response before she said it.
“Whoa, you guys look alike.” She stated the obvious.
“Yeah, that’s Rhett. He was my big. He was president my sophomore year.” I pointed to the other picture of my sophomore year.
Scarlett stared at it before she shook her head and turned back to me.
“When I decided on coming here, he kind of took me under his wing. We didn’t have a lot, but he used to come around…” I trailed off because it was around the time of her parents’ accident.
I didn’t want to mention all that, so I took Scarlett’s hand and led her to my room, where I watched her study. Then after that, things got hot and heavy, my dick by her pussy, but no matter how much my dick begged me to slide inside Scar’s pussy, I meant what I said. The next time I had her would be when I was making love to her.
The days leading up to my date with Scar passed by in a blur. I had Isaac keep walking her to the classes he could and gave him cash so he could run to the campus store and get my jersey so I could give it to her.
When my phone started ringing, I pulled it out and was pissed. It was Gigi calling. Ignoring it, I put the phone on silent and put it in my pocket. Dread filled me because I had yet to tell Scar about the miscarriage. I was scared of her reaction, but most of all, I was scared to lose her.
Once I was ready, I grabbed the jersey and my keys and went to pick up my girl. My mouth ran dry the moment I saw her. She came down the driveway in black leggings, a gray long-sleeve blouse that matched her tennis shoes, and her hair a wild mess. I don’t think she realized just how beautiful she was. It didn’t matter if she did or not because, to me, she’d always been the most beautiful girl in the room.
“Ready to woo me?” she said.
I noticed the circles under her eyes and wondered if she was having problems sleeping again.
“Do you still get nightmares?” I asked, cupping her cheek.
When she tensed, I knew that wasn’t a good sign.
“Scar,” I warned before she could lie to me.
“Sometimes, but I don’t want to talk about that today. Today, I want you to take me on a date. I just want to be with you, nothing else.”
When she put it that way, I forgot about everything else.
“Here.” I handed her my jersey.
She smirked at me. “Most guys give roses on the first date, and you give me your shirt. Modest much?”
I pulled her by the hips toward me, leaning down and smelling the skin by her neck. My waiting game was a real pain in the ass right now.
“I want you in my jersey at my games and at night when you go to sleep, and when I take you, I want you in nothing but my shirt.”
When she shivered, I kissed her forehead, then brought her hands to my lips and kissed them too. Then I got her in the car before I dropped to my knees and begged her to come with me after graduation. I’d been playing the long game all my life; this was just another one.
We had just arrived at the movies when my phone started to vibrate again. I took it out and tensed when I saw it was Gigi calling again.
“Is everything okay?” Scar asked, full of concern.
“Everything is perfect,” I said even though that felt like a lie.
I turned my phone on silent as we made our way through the concession stand. I had Scarlett curled up to me watching some chick flick I wouldn’t ever watch again unless that’s what she wanted, and everything should have been perfect, but I kept getting texts and messages from Giuliana.
I held on to Scarlett a little tighter, kissed her a little longer, feeling a sense of dread. The next time I checked my phone, I saw a text from Isaac, and Ollie had tried to call me too.
“I’ll be right back.” I gave Scar a chaste kiss on the lips and went to the hallway. When I called my frat brothers, I wished I would have stayed in an ignorance bubble.
“Dude, you need to check on Gigi,” Ollie said.
I closed my eyes, feeling hate burn through me, but at the same time, shame.
“I’m at the movies with Scar.”
“I know. I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t think it was important.”
When I hung up on him, I called Gigi.
I wish I hadn’t.
Gav…God…I can’t take this pain anymore. I feel like I’m going crazy. I want it to stop.
Her words haunted me and scared me. I knew I couldn’t have something like that on my conscience.
I wasn’t thinking straight because I knew if things didn’t get handled right, I could lose Scar again. I was backed against a corner, and that was never good because you made rash decisions that way. Running a hand down my face, I wanted to scream in frustration, but pulled myself together. When I walked back to where Scar was seated, I felt like the biggest fraud in the world.
“Baby, I have to go,” I told her.
“Something happened?” She sat up, losing her carefree glow.
I hated this damn triangle I had started.
“Nothing—I just really need to get to the house. Here are my keys. I got an Uber. Just stay and finish the movie.”
She opened her mouth, and I couldn’t have her near me, not when I felt like I was cheating.
“Just finish the movie, please. I love you, Scar,” I said as I leaned up to kiss her.
She didn’t say anything; she just sat there watching me leave.
Twenty-Three
Love.
What did that word even mean? I stood still against Gavin’s kiss. He just told me he loved me, just like that. I was shell-shocked.
Love was a feeling that sometimes was fleeting or everlasting. More often than not, it came with pain. Two sides of the same coin, and you learned to live with them, making your days better or worse. But God forbid love got yanked from you. That shit burned you, and all that was left were embers glowing with the pain.
These past few days had felt like a dream, but love—could it be love? I could count on my hands the number of weeks we had spent together, but we had what felt like a lifetime of memories. Good, and bad, but they were what defined us.
When the lights turned on, I realized I had been staring absently at the screen. I grabbed my stuff and Gavin’s keys and walked out. Neither of us were thinking straight because I sure as shit didn’t know how to drive his car. I walked up to it and made sure it was locked before I called for a ride.
I sat on a bench outside the movie theatre plaza replaying the way he’d told me he loved me. It just slipped out. No agenda, no other motivation than to just let me know how he felt. At least it kept me from thinking about my nightmares that had started to come more frequently. Always the same thing—me in the car, the smell of gasoline heavy in the air. By the time Nick pulled up, it was already dark.
“Took you long enough,” I huffed.
“Where’s your car?” Nick asked as soon as I came in.
“Home.”
My brother looked at me and then to the building.