My head was bent, looking at the spot where I had dropped my shake because the space in the car was too small. The air was getting too heavy, and Gavin was telling me things I couldn’t—I didn’t want to deal with now.
“You picked her over me,” I whispered because if I said it aloud, I would cry, and he would know just how much he had hurt me. His actions had scarred me, and I had barely found the wound.
“You picked her over me too, Scar. Time and time again. You are still picking her over me, over us. You hurt me, Scar, and I was young, and I wanted to hurt you back.”
I flinched at that last part.
“The moment I went out with Gigi and I got to know more of you, I knew I had fucked up, and you would never be with me because she was your friend… The whole time I was with her, I was a better boyfriend to you than I was with her. You might not have noticed since you weren’t with us all the time, but trust me, Scar, she did, and she hated you for it.”
He was right, but I didn’t want to admit it.
“Look at me, Scarlett, please.”
I took a moment just to breathe in and breathe out until it felt like I wasn’t drowning, then I turned my gaze to look at him.
“I’m going to be honest with you because I am tired of going in circles. I need to concentrate on my game, but I can’t do that if we are up in the air. I know by now you know that I have been with a lot of girls.”
My stomach churned at the information.
“I was lonely, Scar. I was trying to fill a void that I didn’t even know was there. Every single time my thoughts went to you. Last year, when one of the coaches was leaving, I thought of Nick. Yeah, he’s good, but the school would have found someone just as talented as he is. I went back home for Christmas, and I saw the for sale sign on your childhood home, and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I would never see you again, and that terrified me. I stalked your social media and found nothing. Nobody from school had kept up with you except for Audrey. I know this because I asked around. When I looked up Nick, I saw a picture of you two, and I felt things I hadn’t felt since prom night just by looking at it. You looked so gorgeous, but so fucking sad too. So, I reached out to my coaches, and they seemed interested; then I contacted Nick, and he did the rest.”
I couldn’t even look at Gavin right now while I tried to absorb everything he wanted to tell me.
“Once he got the job, I told Auds to not rent the room to anyone, because I knew I couldn’t approach you with Nick so close.”
“But in Audrey’s house, it was the perfect moment to come and hate fuck me,” I spat.
Gavin let out a tortured laugh. “Even when I hated you for making me want you so bad, to the point it fucking hurt, I was getting something out of it. I got to see you, and that fucking elated me in a way that only football has. I wanted to hate you when I saw you, because you, the one girl who kept rejecting me time and time again, were the one I couldn’t get out of my fucking system. I’m getting drafted, Scarlett—I knew this was my last shot to make us work. For the first time in years, we have a real shot to be together, and I want it Scar. I want that chance.”
While I tried to process what he said, I was still stuck on his words.
You picked her over me too, Scar. Time and time again. You are still picking her over me, over us.
I knew he had a point, but I also didn’t like to feel like my whole life at college had been a lie.
“Say something.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say?” I turned to look at him, feeling as lost as I did after the accident. Then that memory made me think of him and how he was the only one who saw past the façade. The only one who ran after me to make sure I was okay.
I wasn’t paying attention and was startled when Gavin picked me up and dragged me to his lap. There wasn’t much space for both of us in this seat. I ended up straddling him. Not that either of us seemed to mind.
“All I want you to say is that you won’t run away. That you’ll give us the shot we deserve.” He held my gaze as he held on to my waist.
Sometimes life came down to moments. Moments that seemed so insignificant that we didn’t know how it might impact the rest of our lives. In a moment, a little girl scared to hurt her best friend said no, and that changed everything. Now, in this moment, I was a woman, and I was terrified, but I wanted to take a leap and believe.
Gavin leaned up to me and gave me a quick kiss. Never in my life had three seconds passed by so fast.
“Still the sweetest lips I ever tasted.”
The rasp of his breath caressed my skin, and I knew I couldn’t deny it any longer. This was our thing: three seconds, but never more, because we knew if we went past them, we would be reduced to nothing.
I brought my hands up and held on to his cheeks, relishing the feel of his scruffy jaw, how perfectly I seemed to fit against him. He made me feel small and protected. Since my parents passed away, I only felt okay when I was with him. The pain I had been dealing with would take the back seat to him. It didn’t matter how wrong or right we were for each other because, in stolen moments, right or wrong didn’t exist. Sometimes in a moment, you get everything you ever wanted.
“Please kiss me.” My voice was hoarse, the words foreign to my whole being.
His hands went to my head, holding me tight, making sure I wouldn’t run scared while his lips descended on mine. There it was instantly. My heart strummed for three glorious seconds. All the reasons why it was wrong didn’t matter. The heart didn’t know what was wrong or what was right. It didn’t know that one simple little action could cause a war. The heart only wanted to be happy, and Gavin made mine happy. When he opened his mouth, I knew this was it—this was the moment when everything was going to change again. It wasn’t going to be three seconds anymore, and that was okay.
“I can’t go back to like it was before, Scar,” he stated.
“I’m scared, Gavin,” I whispered.
“Baby,” he rasped. “I’d die before I let anything happen to you again.”
I could never find the right words to say to him, so I didn’t. I leaned down and kissed him again as I put my hands over his shoulders. I kissed him with a hunger I had yet to realize I had within me. My hips started to move on their own, my sex finding delicious friction on Gavin’s bulge.
“Jesus, Scar,” he moaned against my mouth. His hands were roaming my backside; my dress had ridden up to my waist.
“Gav,” I moaned loud enough that it echoed through the car.
Gavin’s breathing was jagged, and I was panting. He squeezed my ass, then let his hands wander down to my center. His fingers were barely touching me, but it was enough to make me squirm.
“You’re so wet,” he ground out, his silver eyes full of lust. “Spread your legs more.”
I complied. He sat up straighter and leaned me against the steering wheel, my hands on his shoulders for support. One of his hands came down to my leg, and it started to trail up my thigh. I felt two fingers tease me over my panties, moving back and forth. Gavin chuckled when my hips started moving. He pushed my panties to the side and slid his fingers through my pussy lips. My panting was getting louder, but I was in a frenzy because he was petting me and not touching me.