Not any real ones.
My seat was the second to last in the first row, which I didn’t mind, as it was next to a wall. I just hoped the person behind me wasn’t annoying. Maybe they wouldn’t talk to me? That would be nice.
Looking at the clock, I noticed I still had three minutes before the bell rang. Jeez, what was wrong with me? I got to class like a minute after my last class. What happened to the days where I would go and chill by my locker? That didn’t appeal to me anymore.
When I noticed the people who entered staring at me, I put my head down. That way I made it hard for them to keep looking at me.
When the bell rang, I raised my head and did a quick scan of the room. Everyone was a senior—no surprise there. A bunch of people I didn’t talk to, who apparently knew about me, stared.
When I met their gazes, unflinching, they turned away. Seriously, who the heck did they think they were? Just because they’d heard about me didn’t mean they knew me.
I hated nosey people.
My eyes landed on Becca, cheer captain, the girl Gigi wanted to top but never seemed to get at her level. For which I was glad. Maybe I just hated Becca because she called me fat and wouldn’t let me join the squad.
Nah, she was just a bitch.
My eyes also landed on Audrey, and I gave her a small smile. We’d been co-captains before everything went wrong. She tried talking to me all summer, but I never answered.
I didn’t need anyone’s pity.
Mr. Reeves was busy handing out the syllabus when the door opened. I didn’t turn to look like everyone else did. How old were we, five? We didn’t need to gawk at the person coming in like they were some alien.
The room went silent like it usually did. I paid zero attention; instead, I continued writing in my notebook. I knew it was risky pulling it out here, but my therapist wanted me to write whenever I had something to say, and the way the day was going, the words were flowing.
“Mr. Dunn, how nice of you to join us.” The sarcastic tone of Mr. Reeves’s voice couldn’t be mistaken.
My heart started beating erratically. I was scared I was going into cardiac arrest. God, did anyone know CPR here? Would they be able to save me?
“Unlike you, Mr. Reeves, people look forward to seeing me.” I couldn’t see Gavin, but I heard the smugness in his voice.
Looking up at Mr. Reeves, I knew I was right. Mr. Reeves was glaring at Gavin. When the teacher opened his mouth, I knew what was going to come out of his mouth before he even said it. As he opened his mouth, I slid down my desk a little, trying to appear smaller. It was no use.
“Why don’t you take a seat behind Miss Davis?”
As expected, there was a pregnant pause. Everyone turned to look at him, then at me. I felt their gaze on me, but I just looked ahead, as if the front of the room was fascinating. For all my classmates knew, maybe it freaking was.
This was a mistake, because looking forward meant I got to see Gavin as he walked down the aisle. No backpack, just a folder and a notebook, number two pencil behind his ear, in a white T-shirt that did nothing but accentuate his muscular arms and the tan he got over the summer, and a pair of dark jeans with white tennis shoes.
Nope, I didn’t think he looked fine.
Not at all.
Do not look at him. Don’t look at him. Do not look at him.
My eyes flew up to his as he walked right by me. Every single freaking time I saw him, it was like a kick to the stomach. No, not because he was so handsome, and it made me quiver or whatever but because he was Gigi’s and Gigi was like my sister, meaning it was a big freaking no to think about him like that.
But no, that wasn’t why it was a kick to the stomach. It was a reminder of what had happened last year. His eyes flashed, and I saw it, the pity in his eyes. His eyes turned soft, and I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want pity. Not from him.
He looked down at my notebook, and immediately I closed it. What I had written on those pages was personal—sacred even. I looked ahead and pretended he wasn’t even there. Considering the amount of practice I’d had, acting like he didn’t exist, this should come easy. It should’ve, but it didn’t.
All through class, my neck felt like it was burning. Maybe it was just me, and he wasn’t even staring at me, but I didn’t dare turn. My body had never been so rigid or stiff.
Pathetic.
I grabbed my stuff and ran out as soon as the dismissal bell rang.
“Scarlett,” he said softly.
I pretended like I didn’t hear it, even though my body responded to his voice. My saving grace was Becca, who cooed his name, giving me the chance to escape.
The only good thing about being a senior was that you could leave for lunch; that meant no cafeteria food for me. For the first time since eighth grade, Gigi and I didn’t have the same lunch period. Did it make me a shitty friend that I was a little relieved? At least I had Dylan, so I wouldn’t be such a lonely loser.
“I’m glad it’s just us two. It’s a bitch to have more than two people in your car.”
I smacked Dylan’s head. He was right, though; my white Honda coupe was a little inconvenient when I had more than one person with me.
“It’s just you or Gigi, and since you can’t stand each other, it’s not a problem.”
“She never forgave me for getting a rash after she kissed me. It’s not my fault I was allergic to her lip gloss.”
“Dylan, be nice. She’s my best friend, and I’ll always defend her.”
He raised his arms in surrender, but grumbled something I couldn’t hear under his breath.
Do you want to know what we got? Some nuggets and fries. Something about eating them during school hours made them taste all that much better.
Lunch was the highlight of my day, since all of my other classes were more of the same: more people gawking at me, zero classes with Gigi, more with Becca, but just one with Gavin.
As I drove home, I told myself I could handle it. When I walked into the condo my brother and I shared, he was already home, eating spaghetti. I smiled at my big brother, put my stuff on the couch.
After Mom and Dad died, neither one of us wanted to live in our house anymore. It was too much just for us two, but we couldn’t let go of it. For now, we were renting it out; it helped pay for this condo without us having to use our parents’ life insurance money.
Some people said we were lucky that we didn’t become homeless because our parents had a backup plan. Yeah, sure, we were lucky. Fucking lucky that Mom and Dad had crashed on a dark as shit road. No one deserved to go out like that.
Nick was twenty, and he took me in, no hesitation. Our parents’ money allowed him to keep taking care of me, and once I went to school, he could finish too.
“You’re home early.” My tone was a little defensive.
“I just wanted to be here, just in case…” My brother wasn’t one to shy away from the truth.
“I’m fine, Nick, and guess what? I didn’t get a detention.” My voice was mocking, but I didn’t need my brother hovering.
He sighed, and his shoulders dropped a little. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me. Nick and I didn’t look much alike. His hair was a little darker than mine and straight, but he kept it cut short.
“You’re my baby sister, Scarlett. I’m always going to worry about you. Besides, I don’t see you complaining when I cook.”