She also hasn’t told anyone about it, nor have I. Gossip is a killer in this office, so Feliciana doesn’t tolerate it. Not that I want to talk about it. I’m still appalled it even happened, but no matter what, I want Willa to succeed. She’s a good lawyer, a smart girl, just ill-informed, which probably stems from her family dynamics. I’m thankful that Kirby doesn’t care about our race, but I am finding there really isn’t anything wrong with Kirby. Believe me, I’ve been looking for something.
He’s good. So good. Sweet, kind, and so supportive. I know he wants me to stay over. I know he wants to occupy all of my time, but he doesn’t push. He wants whatever I’ll give him, and sometimes I feel like I’m not giving him enough. He has me being all mindful and caring about him, which is something I’ve never done for anyone other than Aviva and Callie. He’s too good to be true, yet he is. He has his faults, but he doesn’t let them define him. He could milk that abandonment by his mom and dad until the cows come home, or even dwell on Lilly leaving him and Celeste, but he doesn’t. He just loves Celeste; he loves himself, his career, his teammates. I mean, the way he worries about and cares for Evan is beautiful. He’s so in tune with his feelings, and I swear, I’ve never met a man like that. Above all that, he adores me. Worships me, and hell, he may even love me, which terrifies the ever-living shit out of me.
I really don’t want him to say that to me.
Not yet. Jesus, I’m not ready for that.
Though, I need to get ready. I can feel it. I have never, ever done long-distance with anyone. In my opinion, it’s stupid. Too much temptation, and one never really knows what the other is doing. It consists of way too much trust in someone, but here I am. I trust him. I fucking trust a man, and I’m not even thinking twice about it. Yes, it sucks ass that he is not home, and I miss him in a way I’ve never felt before, but he’s so thoughtful. When I wake up every morning, there is a “Good morning, sweetheart. Have a beautiful day.” text or something along those lines. He never goes to sleep without calling or texting me, and we FaceTime all the time. He’s just so considerate, and I find myself doing the same. I send back texts when I know he’s playing just to make him smile when he looks at his phone. It’s easy. There, I said it. Being with Kirby is easy. It’s fluid, and I can’t get enough.
A small grin sits on my lips as I type up a contract for a battered women’s shelter. The organization bought a new space, and I need to make sure they get everything they need and want. As I read over the contract, I tap my foot on my chair and ignore the movement around me. Without even looking up, I know Willa is walking by my office, but I won’t meet her gaze. I won’t give her an opening to speak to me. I can’t trust the words that would leave my lips, or even hers. I want to continue to respect her, so ignoring her is the best way for me to do so.
When my assistant comes over the speakerphone, I stop typing to listen.
“Ms. Raventorn, Ms. Pearce is on line two.”
“Thank you,” I say, hitting the number two button. “Hey, lady.”
“Hey,” Aviva says, and I can hear in her voice that she has been crying. “Did you see the picture Callie put on Snapchat?”
I reach for my phone. “Not yet.” I bring it up, and I smile. She’s living her best life, grinning from ear to ear in the middle of the quad at her college in her competition leotard. “Oh, Veev. Look at her.”
“I know. She’s so happy,” she says, and then she breaks into a sob. “I’m so proud of her.”
I grin. “Aw, don’t cry.”
“I miss her so much.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But look at her! She’s doing things!”
“You’re right. I hate being apart from her. I feel like I’ve lost my legs.”
I giggle. “Understandable. It’s only been you and her.”
“I know, and I’m about to drop this kid, and who is going to help me?”
“Me,” I say simply.
She scoffs. “Whatever. You’re in a relationship now! I’m all alone.”
“You do realize you have a fiancé, right?”
“Who is traveling. I’m so lonely.”
My heart drops. “Oh, Veev. Come on. You’re not lonely at all. I just saw you yesterday.”
“For like an hour. Then you had work, and then you went to see Celeste—”
I know my best friend. I know when she needs me. She doesn’t ask for help, nor will she say she’s struggling. It turns into jealousy for her, and I know that. So, without thinking, I ask, “Want to come over tonight? Have a sleepover?”
“Yes, please,” she says in the smallest voice. “And I want to never talk about this needy part of my pregnancy.”
“I don’t even know what you’re speaking of. All I hear is my best friend wanting to hang with me.” Another sob leaves her, and I grin. “It’s okay, Veev.”
She inhales a shaky breath. “I know, I know. Distract me. Did you run Willa over with your car yet?”
I snort. “No. I’m ignoring her.”
“Good plan. Has she said anything to Feliciana?”
“Not to my knowledge. And I hope it stays that way.”
“Me too, or I’ll run her over.”
I laugh as I shake my head. “It’s like a whiplash of emotions with you.”
“I know. I’m a mess.”
“It’s okay. I love you, no matter what.”
“Good, ’cause I think Nico might leave me.”
“Oh, be real,” I demand. “He worships you.”
She lets out a long sigh. “Jesus, I need to have this baby.”
“Agreed.”
Aviva giggles sweetly, and I hear something rattle, maybe a pan, as she asks, “How’s it going with Kirby? Is he still dreamy?”
“Absolutely,” I gush, grinning from ear to ear. “He comes home tomorrow. I’m really excited.”
“I bet. Nico says Kirby is all gooey for you.”
“Gooey for me, you say? I like that. Speaking of Nico, does he still hate me and doubt me?”
“Jay, he never hated or doubted you. He just gets in his feelings about his best friend.”
“Yeah, whatever. He was mean.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” she says, and then her voice breaks. “He can’t control his emotions sometimes. You have to be patient with him.”
I grin. “Funny, Callie said something along the same lines. You guys are so cute, all protective of each other.”
“Because that’s love.”
I don’t know why that statement hits me the way it does. Straight in my gut. I realize how I acted about Kirby toward Willa could be classified as love. Though, we won’t be discussing that. “You’re right.”
“He’s a good man, and he’s really happy with how happy Kirby is.”
“Me too,” I agree, smiling so hard. “He makes me very happy.”
“That’s all we want,” she says softly. “For you and him to be happy.”
“Done deal, sister.”
“Question,” she says then, and I raise a brow.