He exhaled sharply. Shut his eyes, shaking his head. “You’re impossible, Christina.” When he opened his eyes, they were worried. Why did he care? “I know you don’t need my advice, but this thing that you do, for whatever reason you do it, isn’t healthy.”
“I’m glad we agree on something: I don’t need your advice.” I shoved past him and marched back to the office.
I had the situation under control. This was temporary. Until I lost a bit more weight. Although I’d been purging at least twice a day, I could stop whenever I wanted to.
Now Ezra knew my secret. Ezra of all people.
Chapter Twelve
Ezra
Christina’s apartment was impressive, upmarket and way above her pay scale. I sat on one of her couches with a beer in hand watching her. I didn’t know how to stop it. I found her intriguing. Her complexity was what drew me to her.
She went around making sure everyone was comfortable and attended to. The party didn’t have a large attendance, only the people from the office, her family and a few others.
The doorbell rang and Christina ran to open it. Melissa was standing on the other side, holding hands with Andrew.
Christina let them in and then she glanced at me.
Melissa waved to me, walking towards Erica. With a nod, I raised my bottle in response.
Sienna sat next to me where she’d been the entire time. I could feel her stare penetrating my skull. I turned to face her.
“That’s the girl you sketch.” I didn’t answer and blankly continued looking at her. “She’s pretty.”
I drank from my beer.
“Melissa’s here.” Christina came up to me and pulled my hand, urging me to stand. The beer bottle almost slipped from my other hand. “You guys have to dance.”
“I don’t kno—”
Melissa interrupted with a daring glare. “Can’t keep up with me anymore?”
“Oh, man,” Frank sang. “You can’t say no to that—” Stacie cleared her throat, almost roaring. “To that challenge,” he finished.
I let Christina pull me up and a samba was played in the background.
“Not fair.” I raised my hands. “This is Melissa’s song, of course, she’ll kick my ass.”
Melissa held on to her hips and flipped her curly hair. “I’m awesome like that.”
Her fiancé wasn’t pleased. He was shooting daggers in our direction with his eyes, which was all he could do. If Melissa wanted to dance, she was going to dance. Frank and another guy removed the table, rolled back the rug and also moved the couches back making room. All eyes were on us and the music was turned up.
Melissa was a great dancer, agile, light and quick on her feet. I was happy to dance with someone who knew the rules of Latin ballroom and I wouldn’t deny I enjoyed dancing with her. She was excellent.
I gazed past Melissa’s shoulder as we danced catching glimpses of Christina standing by the kitchen. No one was paying attention to her and she was eating, no, devouring a burger. She was sad. Her eyes indicated as much. And the way she ate was disturbing.
She continued eating fast, almost as if she were a thief in her own home and she had to finish before getting caught. What the hell is going on with her?
People cheered and applauded as we swayed. Whenever I got Christina in my line of sight, she was eating. She picked up a bottle of soda and drank from it. I turned my back to her following the beat of the music, my feet stirred all on their own; my focus was elsewhere.
Christina then cupped her mouth and ran out of the kitchen. She was going to do it again. Abruptly, I let go of Melissa and gave her hand to someone standing close by—I didn’t even register who—and followed after Christina.
“Ezra ...” Melissa called, but I didn’t bother to stop.
I rounded a corner, following after her. Christina was at the far end of the hallway opening a door.
“Christina don’t do it,” I pleaded. “Don’t go in there.”
I was surprised by how much I cared, and how much it was bothering me knowing what she was about to do.
She pressed her head against the door and inhaled. Her shoulders trembled as if she was crying. Slowly, she turned, resting her back against the door. Her face was stricken with tears. Sorrow enveloped her expression like a velvet cloak. Her entire demeanor wilted. Her face was flushed. She ran a trembling hand through her hair, shoving it back.
“Don’t do it, Christina,” I said firmer this time, cautiously taking steps towards her.
“Leave me the fuck alone.”
She was suffering and also ashamed. She couldn’t even look straight at me. I wanted to help ease her burden, but I had no idea where or how to begin.
Christina
There was barely any space separating the two of us anymore. Why did he follow me? What on earth did Ezra want with me?
“Why don’t you talk to me,” Ezra repeated, running his knuckles down my face. “Please?”
“Because I have nothing to say to you.”
“You’re going to do it again, aren’t you?”
He slipped a hand around my waist, tenderly spreading his hand over my hip.
I had a snarky answer prepared but instead, the truth slipped off my tongue. “I have to.” I sniffed up the tears that threatened. “You don’t understand.”
“Make me understand.” He rested his forehead on mine. “Explain it to me.”
I felt lower than low and shittier than shit. It was one of those moments where I hated myself and even if I explained it to him, he wouldn’t understand. No one ever did.
It hurt me seeing him dancing with Melissa so flawlessly. Jealousy and rage both clouded my mind. It was possible he still had feelings for her.
I wanted Ezra here tonight to observe how he’d react around Melissa and she continually held his attention. Watching them together was akin to a sharp stab right in my heart.
The past few weeks have been overwhelmingly confusing for me. Every time he touched me, accidentally or not, I felt something—a tender sensation that ran up my spine. Every time I caught him watching me made my pulse quicken.
I wasn’t frail. I’d learned to toughen up a long time ago. However, this version of myself was baffling.
“Ezra, go back out and do your thing with Melissa.”
“I don’t want to.” His lips were so close to mine. So close his warm breath tickled my skin. “Come dance with me.”
“You’re just saying that to stop me from going into the room. You want to dance with Melissa and it’s obvious you enjoy her company.”
He pulled back with a crease forming between his brows. “What? You’re the one who literally threw me into her arms. You’re the one who said we should dance.”
“But you didn’t turn down the opportunity, did you?”
“Oh, Christina.” His words were underscored by a hint of amusement. “Are you jealous?”
Instantly I scorched, utterly mortified.
“If I wanted to be with Melissa so badly then why am I here?” He searched my eyes but I offered no response. “I could have stayed dancing with Melissa but I didn’t.”