“We should probably talk,” I said quietly, stepping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind me. Molly was still sleeping, no doubt dreaming of Hudson. For as much as I wanted her to hold my hand, she didn’t need to witness this.
Levi wouldn’t look at me and when I found Rafe across the room, he refused to give me his eyes either.
Crap, I’d really screwed this one up.
I padded over to the couch, Letty following. Hudson was already seated with Damon, the two of them looking as somber as I felt, but Levi and Rafe remained where they were. I took a deep breath and Letty covered my hand with hers. “It’s going to be okay,” she said.
I gave her a little nod and started. “When I was sixteen, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma.”
“That’s a type of cancer, right?” Damon asked and I nodded.
“It’s a form of blood cancer, quite common in teenagers and has a high survival rate.” I gave him a nervous smile. I didn’t enjoy talking about cancer, who did? But it was public knowledge now, and Letty was right, they deserved to know the truth from me, not from some article based more on speculation than reality.
“Cancer can be at different stages. I was stage four.”
“Shit, Eva,” Hudson rasped. “That’s... fuck.”
“It’s okay... I’m okay. The doctors didn’t think I was goin’ to make it, but after surgery and aggressive chemo, I made a full recovery.” My smile grew but it was false. I already sensed the shift between us—the pity in their eyes, the questions running through their heads.
The betrayal.
Rafe couldn’t even look at me, and Levi... well, Levi looked like I’d just told him his new puppy had died.
“So you’re better?”
“I’m in remission, yes.”
“But the cancer’s gone?” Levi finally spoke. “You won’t get sick again?”
“I...” I reminded myself he deserved the truth. Even if I knew he wouldn’t handle it well, Levi deserved the facts. “The cancer is gone for now. It doesn’t mean it won’t come back one day.”
The silence was deafening. Hudson cussed under his breath while Damon and Letty offered me soft smiles of reassurance. Rafe was still quiet, running a hand back and forth through his hair.
“So you could get sick again?” Levi asked, his eyes clouded with confusion. “You could get sick again and… die?” The word came out strangled, coiling around my heart like barbed wire.
“Levi!” Damon scolded him.
“It’s fine,” I said, keeping my eyes on Levi. “Yes, that’s right. But anyone sittin’ here could get sick at any time. That’s life.”
“Yeah, well life fucking sucks. I gotta get some air.” Levi stalked away, the door slamming behind him.
“I should go after him,” Damon said. “Hudson, a hand?”
“Yeah, of course.” They got up and started to leave when Letty said, “I should probably come too. Strength in numbers and all that.”
I released a quiet sigh, watching as they disappeared out of the room. Last night had been a blur. The show; the crowd; then the club with Molly, Letty, and the band. But the second things went sour, the guys were right there, putting us first.
Putting me first.
I hadn’t realized just how much I’d integrated into their band until that moment.
And now everything was a mess again.
I should have known it was too good to be true. I should have known karma would be right around the corner waiting to rip the ground from beneath my feet.
I should have told them.
The thought rattled around my head, the guilt like a brick in my chest. But it was too late now.
My secret was out.
“You didn’t tell me,” Rafe’s words cut like a knife.
“I... it’s not somethin’ I wanted to tell everyone.”
“So I’m everyone now?” His expression was crestfallen, but his eyes were hard and cold, the truth like a vast cavern between us.
“That’s not... I tried. I did. I was so close to tellin’ you all the other night on the bus, but it was such a nice thing y’all did. I didn’t want to ruin everythin’.”
“You told me you were sick, but I didn’t think...” Rafe swallowed, pain swimming in his eyes. “You almost died.”
“But I didn’t.”
I didn’t.
It was the first time the words took on a different meaning for me.
“I can’t...” He stood up and panic flooded me.
“Rafe, please.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I was only protectin’ myself.”
“I can’t do this right now, Eva, I need some air.”
He left me.
Rafe walked away as if I’d broken his heart.
As if I’d broken us.
And maybe this time, I had.
Rafe
The minute I walked away from Eva, I regretted it. But a little voice in my head wouldn’t stop whispering, ‘she didn’t tell you’.
Eva had gone through something huge; the kind of thing that was bound to change a person. To leave its mark. I should have turned around and comforted her, but I needed time to clear my head. I also needed to figure out what the hell to do about Levi. The article had hit him hard, but then my brother had issues. Abandonment issues. Trust issues. Attachment issues. You name, he had it. It wasn’t any surprise given everything he’d dealt with growing up.
I could only hope this didn’t push him over the fine line he walked. He cared about Eva. I’d underestimated just how much she would affect him. But it was too late to wish things were different. Eva was here, stuck right in the middle of us, and there was no going back.
I tried our suite first, hoping to find my friends talking Levi out of one of his meltdowns, but there was no sign of them.
“Ah, Rafe, there you are.” Riley breezed into the room. “I was hoping to talk to you about—”
“Now is not a good time,” I said. “My brother is... well, you know how he gets. I need to go find him.”
“Is it anything I can help with?” Her eyes softened but there was something about her tone that had alarm bells ringing in my head. I’d never been Riley’s biggest fan, but the fact Damon and Eva had both pointed out she seemed to harbor a thing for me, made me feel uneasy.
“I don’t think so.” I brushed past her, but she stopped me dead, her hand curling around my wrist.
“What the fuck are you doing?” My hard gaze dropped to where she held me.
“I… hmm… sorry.” Riley snatched her hand back and stepped back. “If something’s going on with Levi, you can talk to me. I’m sure I can help.”
“I can handle my brother, but thanks.” I ducked out of the room just as my cell vibrated. I pulled it out and breathed a huge fucking sigh of relief.
Levi was okay.
For now.
I found Levi at the hotel bar exactly where Damon’s text had said he would be. The three of them—Damon, Letty, and Hudson—had been hovering at the door when I’d arrived. They didn’t want to spook him, but they didn’t want to ambush him either. Thanks to our security team, the place was deserted. There was just Levi perched at the bar, running his finger around a glass, the bottle of vodka beside it.