“Just the usual. I have responsibilities, she needs to work, yada yada... as if those little brats are my kids, ya know?” Sadness clouded her eyes. “I love them dearly, but sometimes I just want to be a normal senior. I want to date and go on road trips and be reckless every once in a while.”
“Well you’re here now.” I reached over and covered her hand with mine.
“I am.” She beamed. “And I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
In the aftermath of the article, Molly had decided to stay another night. Letty had already changed her flight home to tomorrow. Even though me and Rafe had cleared the air, it felt good knowing I had my best friend around for another night.
“I should have told them,” I said quietly. “Then maybe it wouldn’t have come to this.”
The devastation and betrayal in Levi’s eyes was something I wouldn’t forget in a hurry, but it was nothing compared to the look of sheer desperation I’d witnessed in Rafe’s eyes.
And all because of me.
“But you didn’t,” Molly’s voice cut through my reverie. “Besides, those boys have more secrets than my old Dear Diary. Don’t be fooled into thinkin’ they don’t.”
“Rafe told me.”
Her eyes bugged. “What do you mean?”
“He told me why Levi is like this.”
“And?”
“I won’t ever repeat their story, Molly, not even to you.”
“I can respect that.” She gave me a warm smile. “But maybe you should ask yourself why you didn’t tell them.” There was no judgment in her eyes, only gentle understanding.
I gave her a half-hearted shrug. “I guess I wanted them to see me for me, not for the girl who lived. That stuff changes things. Look how the kids at school acted when I came back. Just because I survived doesn’t mean I don’t live with cancer every day, Mol. I knew if I told them, things would be different.”
“You were scared they would reject you?” My eyes dropped to the floor, but Molly reached over, taking my hand in hers.
“I was protectin’ myself.”
“I hate to tell you, babe, but I don’t think it’s you who needed protectin’. Those guys have all fallen completely in love with you.”
“They don’t love me.”
Rafe loved me, but the others, the others had to like me given the circumstances.
“I’m not talkin’ about hearts and flowers. I’m talkin’ about the way a brother loves his sister. You saw how they were last night. They’d do anythin’ for you.”
Her words sank into me. When I’d first arrived, I was so adamant I wanted my survivor’s story to stay out of the press to protect myself. But maybe Molly had a point. Maybe deep down, a part of me had done it to protect them. Something had happened that weekend in Camdena. Not only between me and Rafe but between me and the rest of the band. And the more I’d gotten to know them, the more I’d realized just how complicated they were. I didn’t want to become another burden for them to shoulder.
“How do you think they found out?” She changed direction.
“I guess a journalist went home and asked around or someone tipped them off.”
“Didn’t Alistair say he’d taken precautions to prevent that?”
“Yeah, but I knew it could happen.” You knew and still didn’t say anything.
“Look, tough talk time.” Molly folded her legs beneath her and faced me. “It’s done. You can’t change that, all you can do is find a way to move forward. You and Rafe, for as much as I want to kick his ass right now, are meant to be together. I know he’s Levi’s brother, I know they share some higher-level bond or somethin’, but Rafe is also a person. He has hopes and dreams and desires all his own, and it’s okay for him to go after them. It doesn’t mean he’s betrayin’ his brother or abandonin’ him.”
“I know.” I just wasn’t sure Levi would see it that way.
“He loves you, babe, and you love him. You will find a way to make it work because I have to believe one of us is destined to be happy.”
“Mol.” I gave her a sad smile. “Don’t say that.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure my crap out one day. But today is not that day.”
“But last night, you and Hudson seemed… friendly.”
“Oh it was plenty friendly.” She smirked. “But it’s like between the sheets we’ve got it down and then it’s over and we’re both lyin’ there and neither of us can think of a single thing to say. That’s why I snuck out. I didn’t want to do the whole awkward mornin’ after.”
“Has it occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he likes you and doesn’t know how to tell you?”
“Hudson Ryker doesn’t like girls; he likes what girls can do for him.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He’s been different.”
“Different how?”
“I can’t really put my finger on it, but I’m beginnin’ to think there’s a lot more to him than meets the eye.”
“Oh there’s definitely a lot more to him, if you know what I’m sayin’.”
“Uh, gross.” I threw a cushion at her, my nose scrunching in disgust.
“Made you laugh though.” Molly grinned. “Just think, if I’d never entered you into that talent contest we wouldn’t be sittin’ here right now: me pinin’ after a guy who is emotionally stunted and you heads over heels in love with a guy who comes with enough baggage to fill an airplane.”
“We’re screwed.”
“Certifiable,” she added.
“But do you know what?” I said around a smile. “I wouldn’t change a single thing.”
We decided to stay in the suite for the rest of the day. I didn’t feel like going out and Molly was more than happy watching trash TV and ordering room service. It wasn’t exactly rock-and-roll but it was just what I needed after an emotional few hours.
“Hey,” Letty breezed into the suite an hour later. “Where’s Levi?”
“Levi?” My brows pinched.
“Yeah.” She looked around. “He told the guys he wanted to clear the air with you. That was about an hour ago. I figured the two of you were still talking things through.”
Panic flooded me. “I haven’t seen him, Letty. Should I call him?” I asked, glancing at my cell.
Letty’s expression fell. “No, I’m sure everything’s fine. He perhaps needed some time to clear his head first.” She pulled out her cell. “I’ll text Rafe. I’m sure he’s heard from him.”
“How was he… earlier?” I knew she’d been with him down at the bar.
“He was okay. We didn’t really talk about you but that’s Levi’s MO. He bottles stuff up. He did kick my ass at pool twice though, so he wasn’t totally off his game.”
We shared a smile. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”
“Eva, listen to me and listen good. There is nothing to forgive. What you went through, that’s your business.”