Granddad wipes a tear away and appears to steel himself as he straightens his back and places a comforting hand on his wife’s back. As she pulls away, her eyes find mine and her lip trembles as she staggers towards me, her arms outstretched. “Lily, darling, such terrible news.”
My heart shatters as she falls into my arms and as I hug her hard, I feel her body wracked with grief. She mumbles tearfully, “It isn’t right, it should be me, not her, not my beautiful baby girl.”
I’m not sure what to say because there are no words. No mother should ever survive her daughter and I cannot imagine how she must be feeling. Mum pulls her away and says gently, “Come on, Sandra, Daisy wouldn’t want you to work yourself up into a state. She’s at peace now and probably didn’t even know anything about it. It’s how I want to go, tucked up in bed and none the wiser. Now, I’ve made a nice pot of tea and found some of those posh biscuits from Fortnum’s she loved. Let’s go and remember Daisy how she would want us to.”
She helps nan away and pulls her into the kitchen and the rest of us follow, feeling as low as a person can get. Grief is hard to deal with and especially only days after the person who was larger than life was taken. It’s all a bit surreal and as mum busies herself making the tea, we all crowd around the large island unit that dominates the designer kitchen and stare at each other with glum expressions.
Dad pipes up, “I found lots of stuff in the study that I’m taking to keep safe. You know, important documents and some credit cards and money. Her handbag was in there, so we should take that as well and make a list of all the companies she has cards with and inform them.”
“You’ll need the death certificate, I think.” Nan interrupts and dad says kindly, “Do you want me to arrange everything?”
Nan nods and looks across at grandad, who smiles gently. “Maybe that would be for the best, son. I’m not sure we’re firing on all cylinders most of time, let alone now. Just do our Daisy proud with whatever you choose and we will help out where we can.”
Mum passes the drinks across and turns to me. “Did you find anything, Lily?”
“I’ve found her jewellery and watches, maybe nan should have them and keep them safe.”
I push the bag across the counter and nan’s eyes fill with tears as she pulls out a beautiful bracelet. “She always loved a bit of sparkle did Daisy. She was our little star, wasn’t she Bert?”
He nods as nan pulls out the contents of the bag and appears to just want to feel the items her daughter treasured so highly. Remembering the notebook, I pull it out and say softly, “I also found this. Maybe you should have this as well.”
Nan looks astonished and laughing, turns to granddad. “Look Bert, do you remember this? I can’t believe she kept it after all these years.”
He nods. “Well I’ll be… fancy seeing this again.”
“What is it?” Mum looks as interested as I am and we inadvertently lean forward so as not to miss a thing. “It’s that old notebook she used to write in when she was a teenager. She was forever scribbling something in it, she was such a funny little girl.”
She opens it and we can see Aunt Daisy’s neat writing covering the cream pages and nan laughs. “She was always a planner, you know. Used to make lists and everything and took great delight in crossing them off as she achieved them. Look at this, she’s even put the date.” Peering at it closely, she shakes her head. “She must have been fifteen when she wrote this, look Bert, she’s called it her life goals.”
She laughs and I can see that she’s remembering back to when Daisy was fifteen as she reads them out loud.
1 - Be successful.
2 - Be successful.
3 - Be successful.
Mum interrupts. “I think she could safely cross the first three off her list.”
We all laugh and nan smiles. “She was always a determined young lady. I think she inherited that from me.”
Grandad rolls his eyes behind her back and I stifle a grin. To my knowledge, nan never worked and stayed home to bring up the family. Grandad, however, was a powerhouse in his youth and very successful. He started several companies and built a mini empire. He was driven, unrelenting and a force to be reckoned with, and if Daisy took after anyone, it was him.
Nan carries on with the list.
“4 - Be happy.
5 - Be healthy.
6 - Be organised.”
Once again, they laugh and mum says, “I’ve never met anyone as organised as she was. She’s definitely rocking that list.”
“7 - Find my soulmate.”
The room falls silent as we discover the first thing she failed at. Unlucky number seven.
Dad says with curiosity, “Did she ever find him - her soulmate that is? I don’t think I ever met him if she did.”
Nan shakes her head sadly. “There were a few gentlemen friends but no one special. She always told me she never had time for a personal life and you should have heard the arguments we had over it, honestly, they could hear us shouting in the next street.”
Thinking of the photographs upstairs, I wonder again who took them and say with interest, “Did she ever go on holiday with anyone? I found some old photos upstairs of Aunt Daisy in all sorts of places. She was always smiling into the camera, so I wondered if she travelled with the person who took them?”
Laughing, nan shakes her head. “I’m sure there were many men, darling. Daisy wasn’t afraid of meeting them; it was keeping them that was the problem. You see, she was an attractive woman with prospects. The men would flock to her feet in their droves and I know she wasn’t averse to playing with the toys on offer.”
Mum looks shocked and I giggle. Goodness, Aunt Daisy was wild. Who would have thought?
Nan says thoughtfully. “There was this one man, I think she was in her mid-twenties, maybe twenty-six, I can’t remember. Anyway, she seemed smitten with him and for a moment there, I thought we’d have to raid the bank to pay for the wedding we always thought we’d fund one day.”
Now I’m interested. “What happened?”
She shrugs. “I’m not sure. I know she was devastated, whatever it was. I did ask, but she had this way about her that kept personal things inside behind steel shutters and she would never say. However, I do know it knocked her back for a bit. I could tell she wasn’t herself and all she would say is, if you don’t have your health you have nothing.”
I’m sure the same thought occurs to us all, as we realise the truth to her words. Yes, she may have had everything, but her health let her down in the end and it was all for nothing at the end of the day.
Dad pipes up, “She once told me about a Simon Grainger.”
Grandad nods. “That’s the one. I remember the name because Grainger was the name of the captain of the golf club at the time. I think it must have been his son because Daisy told me his dad played golf.”
Nan nods. “Yes, that’s right. I think it was serious for a while, but then one day when I asked her how things were going, she shot me down and told me to butt out of her life and there was never any mention of him again. I thought she’d found out he was married like the rest of them and never thought anything of it.”
Thinking back on my own encounter with a married man, I can sympathise with Aunt Daisy. Goodness, we are more alike than I thought.