Prologue
“Lily, are you in here?”
“Yes.”
I look up as Aunt Daisy heads into the room. “There you are, what’s going on?”
She looks around in surprise as I smile with satisfaction.
“Do you like it?”
She shakes her head slowly and then laughs. “You’ve done a good job; I certainly don’t recognise the place.”
Her praise is music to my ears because of all the members of my family, her words of encouragement mean the most because she is the successful one among us.
She sits and pats the space beside her. “Come and join me, darling, it’s been ages since we caught up.”
I do as she says with an eagerness to please, and as her arm curls around my shoulders, I settle into her side as I have many times before.
“You know, Lily, I see a lot of me in you.”
I smile pleased with the comparison because if I had to be like anyone it would be her, you see, Aunt Daisy is beautiful, immaculately dressed and rich beyond our wildest dreams. She may be my father’s sister, but somehow, she raced ahead in life and started a business designing the homes of the rich and famous. She is good at it too and reaps the rewards, which is why I want to be just like her.
“I like what you’ve done, Lily, because it shows you have a creative flair. Develop it and let it take you further than most people dream exists. Take no prisoners and fly high above your peers because successful people don’t let ordinary life get in the way. Fix your goals in place and when you reach them, set some more. Never stop striving for perfection because ultimately it will bring you great rewards. Don’t let anyone drag you down to their level and run free with a spirit that cannot be contained.”
She looks at me lovingly and her voice shakes a little as she says sadly, “If you find happiness, let it be on your own terms. Sometimes life throws a curved ball that only an expert can dodge. Be that expert, Lily, because it could knock you to the ground.”
“What do you mean?” It all sounds a little confusing if I’m honest, and I’m not sure I understand the look in her eyes as she shakes her head and laughs softly. “Just be the best, darling, don’t settle for anything less and don’t compromise your dreams for something you have no control over.”
Looking around, she laughs. “I can see you have all the makings of a great designer yourself. I would never have thought of drawing such an intricate design on that wall over there and the colours you have used are bang on trend.”
I look at the Art that I applied to the wall in her rather large bedroom proudly as she ruffles my hair and giggles. “Maybe save it for the classroom though, I don’t think your mum and dad would be quite as understanding if you decorated their walls in the same manner.”
I look at her a little guiltily as she takes a tissue from the box by her bed and lightly wipes away the red lipstick I have smeared on my face.
“Let’s get you cleaned up before they see your efforts.” She winks and says in a whisper, “Let this be our little secret, darling. I won’t tell if you won’t.”
As she leads me to the bathroom, I feel a surge of love for my pretty aunt.
Yes, when I grow up, I want to be just like Aunt Daisy. I am keen to start school on Monday just so I can finish it and be like her in every way.
Successful and rich. What more is there in life?
♥1
Twenty-five years later.
Thirty arrived like an unwelcome guest at my birthday party. I always knew it was coming and thought I had prepared myself mentally for the dawn of a new age, but when the dreaded day arrived, it brought with it a sinking feeling. So, that’s it then. I’ve arrived at a turning point in my life and everything feels exactly the same.
The same wake-up call at 6am and the same sinking feeling as I contemplate the day ahead filled with nothing but work. Followed by a microwave meal for one in front of the television when I return to my bachelorette pad in the evening.
The same insecurities and panic attacks over the hoped-for promotion and the same lack of romance in my life. The same yearning for something better than I have already and the same face looking back at me in the mirror telling me, ‘you should have done better.’
Then again, what did I expect? That suddenly the meaning of life would hit me and everything make sense. That I would see the glorious path of enlightenment lighting my way to a glittering new world, or maybe I would wake to the dawn of a brand-new era when everything that went before it made sense and the choices I made proved to be the right ones.
No, the only difference between waking up this morning and yesterday is the heavy heart that sits inside me because yesterday Aunt Daisy passed away.
As I make my usual cup of wake-me-up coffee, I think about the woman I aspired to be like in every way. My dad’s sister and my godmother. She was beautiful, rich and successful. A woman of means as my father always described her with just a hint of envy in his voice. Where he had always struggled financially, she did not. Her house was the biggest our family had ever seen; her car was always new every three years and her holidays were to the most exotic locations, doing things the rest of us could only dream about. Yes, Aunt Daisy had it all, and the rest of us could just admire her for it.
When I heard she had died, I was in total shock. Apparently, she had a heart attack at home one night – in her sleep, and nobody knew until her cleaner found her two days later. You see, Aunt Daisy - like me - lived alone. She never married and that was how she wanted it – she told us often enough, and I never really thought much about it. She appeared to be happy with her life and who wouldn’t?
I used to love going to visit. Unlike our rather dated semi-detached, her detached house was on a private road set among trees overlooking the golf course. Not that she ever played, of course. No, she was always too busy for hobbies. You see, she was a designer and her taste was bang on trend. Her company was successful as she designed the homes of the rich and famous and got paid extremely well for her trouble. Her staff was small but efficient, and her client base consisted of a few minor celebrities and people with way more money than sense. As expected, her own home was the stuff of dreams and any visit we made was spent coveting a lifestyle that set the bar high and made everyone wish they were her.
Now she’s dead at fifty-five, and to say we are shocked is an understatement. She’s gone and nobody saw it coming.
Sighing, I grab my coffee and set about getting ready for the daily commute to the office. Like Aunt Daisy, I was relentless in my pursuit of a career worth having. After university, I was lucky enough to land a job with the magazine of my dream and I worked my way up to become the impressive sounding junior editor of Designer Homes – on a budget.
I love my job and even my editor Sable Evans doesn’t scare me half as much as she did when I started. Much like Aunt Daisy, Sable has life worked out and reaps the rewards. She is cold, calculating and professional, with none of the weaknesses the rest of us have to deal with on a daily basis. Sable power walks in every morning from the station instead of joining the queue for the underground. She exists on green tea and dubious looking smoothies, with only a rice cake for lunch. She dresses with an effortless chic and wears scarves that make her look stylish and elegant, unlike me who can’t appear to tie them the right way and just gets flustered from dealing with the problems they bring. Like the time it got caught in the tube door and I spent the whole of the journey from Victoria to Green Park trying to free myself with my face pressed against the germ infested plasti-glass of the door. To add to my trauma, my fellow passengers took photos and videos and uploaded them to social media. I expect I’m still trending on Lad’s Bible to this very day.