“Where did you get that box?” My traitorous voice came out hoarse, betraying that I knew exactly what she held in her hands. Parker didn’t answer me at first; she was too busy staring down at the letter clutched between her fingers like it was a poisonous snake that had latched on to her skin and refused to let go.
“Parker,” I said her name to get her attention, and I cringed when I saw the fury reflecting back at me from her amber eyes. “Where did you get that box?”
“I went to clear out the bottom of the closet to make room for my shoes. Since I have a stalker, and you said that you wanted me and Nox to move in here so I would be safe. I was doing it as a joke, Remy. That’s beside the point, though, isn’t it?” Her hands were trembling as she held the letter in one hand and dropped the box on the coffee table. “Why is there a massive box filled with letters addressed to me in your closet, Remy?”
Before I said something I’d regret, before I could scream or rage or take out my anger on the woman I loved, I left. Without even bothering to put on a shirt, or call Daisy to come with me, I walked the fuck out of my house and left everything behind.
After all, Parker held every piece of my soul in her hands with the box that sat in front of her on the table. Along with the power to destroy me the way I’d destroyed her so long ago.
23
Parker
The letters sitting on the table in front of me were the only reason I didn’t storm after Remy and demand that he explain what the hell his problem was. He’s not the one that got blindsided by an entire box full of unsent letters.
Letters, all of them, addressed to me.
I stared down at the one in my hand and noticed that my fingers were trembling. The letter shook as a shiver crept from the base of my neck down into my stomach. My entire body started to tremble as the knowledge of what I had in front of me finally hit.
I had my phone in my hand before I could reconsider, dialing the only person I knew I could count on to help me. I couldn’t read these letters alone. I may be an adult, but there wasn’t a chance in hell that I wouldn’t be a confused and muddled mess by the time it was over.
“I swear, I’m going to murder you unless you’re in the ER with Nox.” Kennedy’s sleep-addled voice filled my ear.
“I need you to come to the house right now, Kennedy.”
Shuffling and a muttered curse filtered through the other end of the line as I heard her throw off blankets and scramble out of bed.
“What’s going on? Who’s house am I going to? Are we killing someone or dismembering a body? Do I need my Mucks?” She ended her tirade with an excited yell, and I rolled my eyes at her eagerness to bury a body.
That was Kennedy. The only member of her family that hadn’t shunned me after Danny and I had gotten together. The only person in town who always stood by my side and snubbed her nose at anyone who tried to treat me differently.
“No,” I said a little bit too quickly. “But I found something, and your brother took off when I tried to ask him about it. I just don’t want to be alone right now. Not with everything happening.”
Kennedy took a deep breath and blew it out loudly in my ear. “Fine. Freaking Remy is an idiot. Like always. I don’t even know why I asked where you are. Of course you’re at his house.” She huffed. “I’m on my way. But I’m bringing my machete just in case.” She hung up without saying goodbye, and I went back to staring at the first of the letters.
The scrawled 1 in the corner made me curious, so while I waited for Kennedy to show up, I rifled through the box. Letter after letter, all addressed to me, and every single one of them numbered sequentially, lay there perfectly in order. Some were wrinkled, others torn, but their presence meant everything to me.
Stupid Remy, walking out the door when all I wanted was him to answer me. I thought about calling him, telling him to come back, but clearly he needed time alone.
These letters were obviously supposed to be a secret.
I paced the floor in front of the couch, back and forth, with my eyes never leaving the box of letters. Unsure of what else I could do, I ran my hands up and down my arms, trying to catch my breath and stay focused.
What if he had written them to tell me that he hated me?
I needed the truth. I needed to know what secrets they held, but I couldn’t open them alone. The content of those letters had the power to ruin everything I wanted in life. I wanted Remy, even if I happened to be pissed at him for the moment.
Lights shining in the window announced Kennedy’s arrival, and a minute later, the front door swung open to reveal her standing there like an Amazon. Her red hair sat on top of her head in a very messy bun that did a terrible job of holding her hair back. She was wearing a black tank top and a pair of black leggings, with a pair of bright-purple Muck boots on her feet. To top off her look was a foot-long machete that she held like a baseball bat in her hand.
“Alrighty,” she growled menacingly, her eyes darting around the room wildly. “Let’s get chopping.”
Kennedy’s ridiculousness had definitely grown to new heights with her lack of sleep.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Then again, I was pacing around the living room afraid to open a letter.
“Yeah.” She dropped the machete on the coffee table next to the box of letters and picked one up. “Damn!” Kennedy whistled. “There must be a hundred letters in here.” I watched her rifle through them and fought the urge to snap at her to leave them alone.
“I don’t want you to read them,” I told her. “I want to read them. I just didn’t want to read them alone. I wanted someone here, just in case.”
“In case he said some more fucked-up shit?”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
“Great.” Kennedy plopped down on the floor in the living room, instead of taking a spot on the couch. “You start reading; I’m going back to sleep.”
Raising an eyebrow at her willingness to sleep literally anywhere, I sat down and did what she said.
“Throw me a pillow, though.”
I reached over to the other side of the couch and threw one of the decorative pillows Remy had at her head.
Kennedy didn’t even bother trying to catch it. Instead, she let it hit her in the face and then moved it under her head, mumbling about how much I sucked.
Not bothering to answer her insults, I picked up the first letter again and took a deep breath as I opened it by lifting the flap from the back. He hadn’t even sealed the envelope.
Inside, a single sheet of white paper sat, smudged and crumpled before being folded and stuck inside.
My heart rattled against my chest, beating discordantly, as I unfolded the letter. Uncertainty warred within my heart and soul as I tried to reconcile what I might find with the man that Remy had proven to me that he was.
Dear Parker,
I lied. I’m so fucking sorry. I lied all because I can’t let you lose me. Your tears always had the power to bring me to my knees, and I thought if I could just keep you from loving me, you wouldn’t lose me too. I watched you cry every night after your parents died… I think it was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’m an idiot, because I thought if I pushed you away, if I hurt you just a little bit, that I’d save you from losing me. And I’d do anything to keep you from crying over me like you did that night. I left you my bracelet so you’d know that I didn’t mean it. That I’d give anything to keep you in my life.