"I know what we agreed." Her eyes stay glued to mine. "I know what you promised. You don't have to remind me of our arrangement."
"Indigo…" Words well in my throat. Please, ask for something else. Anything. I'll promise you the fucking moon. Whatever you want. As long as it's not that. "What did she say?"
"It wasn't anything Rory said." She swallows hard. "Not the way you mean."
"Then what?"
"She just reminded me of something."
"What?"
"Your loyalty."
My loyalty? "My loyalty is a problem?"
"No." Her voice softens. "Yes. It's… please, Ty." Her fingers brush mine. "Answer the question. Are you in love with me?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I don't. I'm sorry. I told you—"
"I know what you told me," she says.
I try to find some words of comfort. Something I can promise her. Some way I can convince her to stay.
"Do you love her?"
"I'll always love her."
"Are you in love with her?"
"No."
"But you still want to be a nice man who likes nice girls?"
A part of me does. A part of me will always fight the darkness in my desires.
"I… I'm sorry, Ty." She blinks and a tear catches on her lashes. "I'm sorry. I can't do this unless you love me."
Her eyes go to her left hand.
Her ring finger.
She runs her index finger over her engagement ring. "I…"
No. Not that. Anything but that.
"I'm sorry." She slides the ring off her finger. Presses it into my palm. "I know we have a deal. I know you can ruin me. But I can't do this. I love you. I'm in love with you. And I can't do this unless you love me too."
"Indigo—"
"I'm sorry, Ty. I love you." She wipes a tear from her eye. Grabs my suit jacket. Pulls me into a fast, hard kiss. "I'm sorry."
Then she releases me.
And she leaves.
And the light drains from my life at once.
Chapter Fifty
Indigo
Cam is standing in front of the elevator like he's guarding it. "Are you all right?"
I'm not having this conversation right now. "I just need some air."
"How about I walk you outside?" He taps the call button.
"Okay."
The elevator dings. The shiny silver doors part. Cam motions after you.
I move into the tiny space.
He moves with me.
I don't want him here. He seems like a good guy, but I don't want him here.
I don't want anyone here.
I want to be home, alone, by myself.
Far away from the pain on Ty's face. Like he wishes he could love me, but he just can't.
Is this how he felt when Rory left? No wonder he fucked half the women in the city.
It's awful.
Finally, the doors close.
Cam leans against the railing. "I'll make sure Sienna gets home okay."
"Don't fuck her. Please."
He lets out a soft laugh. "Not tonight."
I guess that's all the promise I need.
If this is really it, if I'm really walking away, she isn't going to see him again.
He isn't a risk.
He isn't going to break her heart.
If I'm really walking away.
Am I really walking away?
I trace my bare ring finger. Suck a breath through my teeth. Will the elevator to move faster.
It doesn't.
And Cam stands there all tall and broad and imposing, in the way all Hunt men are.
The same posture as Ty.
Younger features, broader shoulders, rounder eyes.
Boyish in places Ty is grown up. But then he is three years Ty's junior. Or was it four? Or two?
It doesn't matter.
If I'm walking away, it doesn't matter.
A sob wells in my throat. I swallow it. Close my eyes. Will my tears to wait.
"Indigo." Cam's voice is soft. "I'm sorry."
I shake my head. Wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "I'm fine."
"You don't have to convince me."
Okay.
"I won't tell Ty anything."
"You're very secretive."
"I am?"
"You Hunts. You hold on to secrets like it's your job."
"It is our job," he says.
A laugh breaks up my sob. "You work for their company?"
He nods.
"Of course."
"Then you know I mean it."
That's fair. "I, uh…" Finally, the elevator arrives at the ground floor. The doors slide open. Shiny gold fixtures fill my view.
"I never liked her. Rory," he says.
"Me either."
He laughs. "No. I imagine you wouldn't." He offers his hand.
I shake my head.
"Humor me."
Okay. I take his arm. Instantly, I feel steadier.
It's these shoes. They're too tall.
Only three inches, but that's more heel than I can handle.
I wanted to be eye to eye with Ty, but I guess that doesn't matter now.
Even though I'm taller than Cam in my shoes, I feel dwarfed by his presence.
Like Ty's.
Like he knows he can command the room.
He walks me through the lobby. Opens the door. Helps me through.
Warm air greets me. I've only been in the air-conditioning for a minute, two maybe, but it's still a sharp contrast.
Cam pulls out his cell. Taps the screen a few times. "When I saw them together, I didn't get it. I didn't get it until I saw him with you."
"What?" What the fuck does that mean?
"Ty's been alone for a long time. His father on active duty. Then Ian. When he meet Rory, saw her family, her old money stability—he saw a place he could fit in. He wanted to believe he fit into that world so badly he convinced himself he did. He thought that was love. But it wasn't."
"Aren't you supposed to be some player who doesn't care about feelings?"
"Should I offer to fuck you to distract you from your pain?"
"Maybe."
"You wouldn't say yes."
"You could still offer," I say.
He chuckles. "You only have eyes for him."
"I…"
"I read the room better than that."
"You could offer anyway. To make me feel better."
"Do you want to fuck me?"
"No."
"That hurts."
"Sorry." My thumb rubs my bare ring finger. "I… you're right. I only want him."
"He only wants you." His gaze follows. "He will figure it out. If you give him time."
I don't have the same optimism. Ty isn't going to figure it out.
But I can't bring myself to say it aloud.
He lets me ride home alone.
I crawl into bed. Put on Back to Black. Cry into my cotton sheets.
Around play two, Sienna climbs in with me. "Sorry I took so long. Had to have my way with Cam."