“Worse still, he’d funded the European vacay and the purchase of the house in Missouri, using Mom’s inheritance—the money she was left when her parents passed away. With all that money spent, no income, and no sign of a job on the way, the bank foreclosed on the house within a year of the move. They boxed around from temporary accommodation to worse temporary accommodation, for a few years, just about surviving on government assistance, until, unable to take the strain or the shame—I don’t know which—my father blew his own brains out with a .45. Because he always had been a fucking coward.”
“Fuck. Baby. That’s heavy. I’m so sorry, about all of it.”
“Yeah, I know. Like I said, I didn’t want to drag you down into my shit.”
“You underestimated me. We would have gotten through it and anything else life threw our way, because we would have had each other.” I sounded like a reject from a cheesy made-for-TV movie.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Ignore me.”
“I’ll do no such thing. What did you mean by that?” I was really trying not to lose my shit with her, but it was no easy task.
“Nothing, really. It’s just life was tough for me at that time. College was out of the question —obviously my place at Colombia wasn’t an option. Nowhere was. I eventually paid my way through community college years later—more to prove to myself that I could than anything.
But can you seriously imagine yourself slogging it out, holding down several jobs, just to attend some crappy community college at night, all the while knowing you could have gone to Yale, and had the whole world at your feet? No matter what you say, I know you would have resented me sooner or later.”
“Thanks for the vote of no confidence, but respectfully, you have no fucking idea what I would have done in that situation. Don’t even try to pretend otherwise.” She looked at me as though I had slapped her in the face.
“I’m sorry. I’m just…really fucking frustrated knowing that we could have been together all these years. It’s not all on you though. I’m pissed at myself, too.” Why hadn’t I gone looking for her? I took a few calming breaths. It had never been my intention for this to be an inquisition. I needed to dial my emotions back a notch. “What happened to your mom after your dad…was gone?”
“She ended up in a shelter for survivors of domestic violence, and they helped her get back on her feet again. She still lives in Missouri. After eventually saving up enough cash for a down payment on a home, a little later, she was able to buy a small florist store, which is her passion. I never wanted to even step foot in Missouri, even after my father’s death, and to this day I’ve never been.
“Likewise, she had no intention of moving again, so wouldn’t relocate to Chicago. Both here, and when I was in Chicago, she comes to stay when she can, which is better than nothing. In fact life is a whole lot better for both of us now, thank God.” Amen to that.
I looked at her long and hard then. She looked back at me, her gaze unwavering. She was waiting for me to make my next move, just as I was her. The thing was, I hadn’t decided on my next move yet. I was torn. There still seemed to be something she was holding back, but on the other hand, I guess if she’d wanted to tell me, she would have. I didn’t know if I should carry on pushing her, or if I pressed too hard, I was at risk of alienating her completely which is something I obviously wanted to avoid.
I thought for a moment longer, before rapidly coming to a conclusion. I decided to let the past be in the past. I wanted answers, it was true, but I also wanted to build a future with Melissa that was free of the shadows and resentments of the past.
Although getting answers to the difficult questions would definitely help that, so would moving on, and focusing on what we could control. We couldn’t change the past, but what we could do is build our future together.
That was all I really wanted—a version of the future that featured Melissa in it front and center. Everything else was meaningless. I brushed a stray hair from her forehead, and kissed the area I had just cleared. It was a brief and gentle kiss, over before it had really begun, but a current of awareness flowed between us and she suddenly sat up straighter on the bench seat.
Mel had been staring intently into my eyes, but now, lids dropped to half-mast, her gaze moved slowly to my mouth. Fuck. Me. Dead. She was the hottest woman I’d ever met, and the look on her face made me want to do things to her that teenage Beck couldn’t even have dreamed of.
I counted back from ten painfully slowly in my head, buying time to talk myself down from the ledge, before I behaved like some sort of cave man, stripped her naked, and screwed her raw over the back of the bench seat in front of an audience of our shocked and appalled colleagues.
Well, hers would probably be appalled, mine…not so much. She licked her lips slowly and deliberately, and I had to look away. Her intention was clear, and it was doing nothing for my already flimsy self-control. Three…Two…One
Beck
I stood up and pulled her to her feet with me. We were standing chest to chest, so close, I could feel the rapid beat of her heart, and each ragged and rampant breath as it entered and exited my body. She was as turned on as I was. We both wanted this. Badly.
“Let’s go.”
“What?” She blinked, confused, breaking the sultry spell.
“Let’s go.” I didn’t have time for chit-chat.
“Where?”
“Your room”
“But, I…”
“Now Mel, unless you want me to fuck you right here on the porch, which by the way, I’d be happy to do. Your choice.”
I quirked my eyebrow, only half joking. At this point, I was so far gone, I really didn’t care who knew it. If that meant screwing her for all to see, then so be it. I’d never shied away from a little exhibitionism. I wasn’t about to start now. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t argue. I guess she didn’t dare. Turning on her heel, she slipped her hand into mine, and walked toward the house,.
We walked into the drawing room via the back door. Dillon and Nico were still looking at each other as though the other was Beelzebub. Clearly something was going on between the two of them—some weird geek mating ritual or something—but damned if I cared what. Whatever it was they were or weren’t doing, they were both too far gone to notice Melissa and I as we hurried past.
We didn’t drop our hands from each other’s grasp as we continued through the house, and up the grand carpeted staircase to the second floor, where Melissa’s room was located. I had been very patient up until that point, but as we approached her door, my restraint melted away faster than a chocolate fire screen.
I just couldn’t wait the few seconds required for her to open the door and for us to enter the room and close it behind us, before I started kissing her. My lips seemed to have their own GPS device, bound to find hers no matter what.
I grabbed her arm, and spun her toward me, eliciting a yelp of surprise from her as she crashed against me. I took advantage of her slightly open mouth, wasting no time in pushing my lips to hers, and slipping my tongue inside in one sure move. Another yelp, and this time the sound was swallowed by my mouth over hers. She resisted for a micro-moment, pushing my biceps with both hands, as I simultaneously wrapped my arms around her waist. Just holding her that way felt like heaven on earth, but I wanted more than that. Way more. I wanted all of her.