“How long will the operation take?” I ask.
“At least four, maybe six hours. I’ll make sure you’re updated as soon as we’re done.”
“Thank you.”
Mace ushers us away.
The waiting room is crowded with bikers. Two, I recall as Paladin and Wills, get up and offer us seats. Cas and I sit down. My head drops into my hands as if worry makes it too heavy to hold up. How can I go through this again?
“He’s fuckin’ strong.” Buzzard hunkers down in front of me and takes my hands. “He’ll pull through.” He squeezes my fingers, then stands back up.
I give him a wan smile. “I’ve been here before. Sat by his side willing him to wake up. In the end, he did.” It was just that he wasn’t my Lizard any longer.
“He didn’t recognise you at all?” Thunder asks, as if I’d spoken aloud.
“No,” I shake my head. “He had no idea who the stranger was crying in his room.”
“Do you remember your dad before, Cas?” Jayden comes over. She glares at Judge sitting next to Cas, and the biker gets up and offers her his seat with an exaggerated flourish.
Cas looks at Jayden. “Not really. Mom’s told me a lot about how he used to play with me, but I don’t remember much. He didn’t want anything to do with me when he came out of the hospital.”
“At first he was away for months at a time on tours,” I tell them. “He wasn’t able to spend much time with Cas. He wasn’t even there for the birth as this one decided to come early.”
“You’ve had it hard, haven’t you, darlin’?” The older biker with ginger hair states.
I shrug. “At least I knew Lizard was alive. So many people have it worse. I was grieving, but at least it wasn’t for a dead body. I always had hope.”
“Heard about you getting into trouble, Cas,” a stern voice says. “You’ve got to knock that shit on the head.”
Cas looks sheepish and looks down at his feet as Demon’s father talks to him.
“When’s the court case?” asks Demon.
“I don’t know yet. He’s had the preliminary one, but he hasn’t had a court date as yet.”
“I, er, I spoke to my dad.” Mel nods at Ink sitting to my left. He nudges Beth, shifts along a seat, then repositions her on his lap. Mel takes the place he vacated, looking tiny sitting next to the two compared-to-her giants. “He’ll represent you if you want. He’s really good, Vanna. Has your current lawyer gone into character references for you?”
I shake my head. “No, she’s been focusing on Cas.”
“In Dad’s view, proving you’re a good mother might help keep Cas out of a custodial sentence.”
But I’m not a good mother, am I? Else Cas wouldn’t have gone off the rails.
“I had no dad growing up.” Judge comes over and crouches in front of us. “Know how that makes you feel kid. But now your relationship with Lizard is out in the open, we’ll step up.” He waves his hand around him. “See all these men, Cas? We’re your dad’s brothers, which means we’re your uncles.”
“You know what Judge is saying?” Ink’s eyes narrow as he peers around Beth. “You fuck up and you’ll have a whole club of angry bikers making sure you learn a lesson you’ll never forget.” Cas goes still. When I go to speak, Ink holds up his hand. “You know why?” As my son shakes his head, Ink goes on to explain, “Because we care. You’re one of ours now, we’ve adopted you. We care that you do the best with your life and don’t fuck it up.”
Cas looks from one to the other of the new ‘uncles’ he’s found. Each give him chin lifts as his eyes fall on them.
I wanted a man to show Cas how he should behave. Now he’s not got just one, he’s got a whole club.
“Hey, Vanna,” Vi calls out. “You’ve got sisters as well, you hear?”
That’s the first thing I’ve heard today that melts a little of the ice inside.
“What happens when Dad wakes?” Cas asks Judge, who’s remained crouched in front of him. “He still won’t recognise me and Mom and will wonder what the hell you’re doing.”
Judge glances at Mace and then Demon. It’s the prez who replies, “Can’t promise Liz will play happy family, or even want to. But if he’s half the man I know, then once he knows he has them, he’ll step up to his responsibilities. If he’s not well enough to have the truth dropped on him, well, we’ll work it out. Whatever happens, you’ve got us now, and we’ll be there for you whenever you need us.”
Almost six hours has passed before the door opens, and a nurse steps in. “Mr Black and Mrs James?”
I stand, and so does Demon, who signals to Mace and has a quiet word in his ear. Mace signals something to Judge who stands and takes the seat by my son.
“Mom…?”
“Stay with us, Cas,” Ink commands from his other side.
I’m shaking. When Mace puts his arm around me, I realise why Demon invited him along. He’s here as my support should I be about to hear the news I don’t want. That something’s gone wrong.
The nurse takes us to see the neurosurgeon who doesn’t delay telling us how Lizard is.
“I’m pleased to tell you Mr James is out of surgery now. He’s still under anaesthesia and being closely monitored, but I was able to remove the entire tumour. There was a slight bleed behind it as I suspected, but that’s tied off now.”
Ignoring the good news, I ask for the worst. “Was it cancer?” If it is, that’s not going to be the end of Lizard’s problems. I don’t dare breathe as I wait for the response and feel Mace tense beside me.
“The pathologist examined it. The shape, chromosomes and DNA of the cells all appear to be normal and are not secreting hormones. The tumour was self-contained without fingers spreading into other tissue.”
“Which means?” The words are going right over my head.
“It was a benign tumour. Nothing to suggest any chemo or radiation therapy is required.”
If Mace’s arms weren’t holding me up, I’d have fallen to the floor.
“Will he come around once the anaesthetic wears off?” Demon asks.
“I’d say it’s very likely. I suspect, having gotten it all, that chances are good that in time, he’ll make a good recovery barring any unforeseen complications. But I do warn you, this is a serious operation, and recovery won’t happen overnight. His brain will be swollen which can have various consequences. He may not be able to talk, and it may affect his movement.”
“But he will recover?” I should have expected poking around in someone’s head would affect them, but stupidly, I hadn’t.
“How far and how fast is impossible to predict.”
“Can I sit with him?” I’m prepared to take up my vigil again.
The neurologist smiles. “We’ll monitor him a little longer in recovery. You can wait for him in his room if you want. The nurse will show you where to go.”
“You two go,” says Demon. “When he’s awake, come and get me. I’ll go back to the waiting room and let everyone know.” He pauses and looks down at me. “This is good news, Vanna. He’s alive, he came through.”