“Andi—”
“I know I’m being dramatic, but it just freaked me out. It’s one of those things you can’t unknow. It makes dating feel like a literal minefield instead of a figurative one.” She took a long sip of her coffee and then waved her hand. “But enough about my internal screaming. Tell me why you’re smiling. Did your lesson go well last night?”
Hollyn leaned back in the seat, her hands wrapped around her coffee cup. “It went…interestingly.”
Andi perked up. “Yeah? Tell me, tell me, tell me.”
Hollyn glanced toward the coffee bar. Jasper was on the opposite side of the building, bustling behind the counter with a decent-size line of people to manage. She looked back to Andi, a hum of pleasure going through her that she had a girlfriend to share this with now. “Well, we may have drank a little and a scene may have gotten a little out of hand and I may have kissed him.”
Andi gasped and then bounced in her seat. “Holls! You minx. I’m so proud.”
Hollyn snorted. “I nearly died of embarrassment afterward. I’m not sure what came over me.”
“Badass bravery, that’s what,” Andi said pointedly. “So, what did he do?”
Knocked me off my goddamned feet. Hollyn took a demure sip of her coffee, enjoying the bit of suspense. “Kissed me back.”
“Ha! I knew it.” Andi slapped her hand on the table. “No way was that dude hand-delivering coffee just to be helpful. He’s got a thing for you. Did he finally ask you out?”
Hollyn gave her a rueful smile. “No, he basically said he wanted to sleep with me, but isn’t in a place to date anyone right now so isn’t going to use me like that.”
Andi’s lips formed an O. “Wow. He actually said that to you, like out loud?”
“Yep. He seems to have a thing for blatant honesty. I think he says everything that comes into his mind.”
“Damn. I mean, yay, honesty. But maybe keep some things to yourself.” She wrinkled her nose. “Way to make it awkward, dude.”
Hollyn’s fingers tapped along her cup. “I don’t know. It was actually kind of amazing.”
Andi tipped her head to the side. “Seriously?”
“I mean…” She frowned, trying to put together her thoughts on what she’d been feeling since Jasper had blurted everything out. “Everything felt so tense last night. I live my life walking on eggshells, but this felt even worse. Because beyond having to deal with my normal social anxiety, I was dealing with this crush I was trying to hide, too. It was like walking on eggshells while juggling and doing long division. That’s why I drank the booze even when I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea. I could barely breathe around him.”
Andi sipped her coffee, listening intently. “Crushes are the worst.”
“Right? But once he just put it out there—that he was feeling it, too, that he was having the same kinds of thoughts about me, it just…” Hollyn shrugged. “Took the air out of the too-full balloon.”
Andi nodded and set her cup down. “I get that. Like naming Voldemort.”
Hollyn blinked. “Huh?”
“Harry Potter,” Andi said, giving her a look that said she was disappointed Hollyn hadn’t immediately caught the reference. “There’s that line about the fear of saying the name making the fear of the thing worse. You two Voldemorted the sexual tension between you. You took the power out of it. Like, hey, we both have pants feelings for each other. Let’s stop pretending we don’t and deal with it so we can stop being so freaked out about it.”
Hollyn smirked. “Oh, the pants feelings are still pretty powerful. At least on my side.”
Andi laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right, because it was like all of a sudden, I wasn’t so nervous to be around him anymore. The playing field was leveled.”
“Leveled?” Andi gave her a knowing grin. “I don’t know. You sure you’re not feeling a nice dose of feminine power right now? He wants you and is having to resist all that sexy, smart energy you’re putting out. You’re holding the cards.”
Hollyn scoffed and lifted her hands, showing her palms. “I’m holding no cards. Did you miss the part about him not wanting to date anyone right now? The poker game has already ended. There will be no more kissing.” She resisted glancing over at Jasper again. “But I’m glad it happened. I feel like I can actually get some use out of these lessons now without being locked up with all that anxiety. I obsess about what people are thinking of me. That’s part of what makes it so hard to talk. But now I know what Jasper thinks, and I can trust that if I ask, he’ll tell me. That’s a game-changer.”
Andi’s eyes narrowed. “Come on. You’re not feeling just a little powerful?”
Hollyn laughed and gave into the urge, looking over at Jasper again. “Okay, maybe a little.”
Andi beamed. “Good. Make that boy pine, girl.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “‘Would only be using you for sex.’” She made a derisive sound. “What a dude thing to say. He didn’t even consider that you may only want to use him for that, too. Like men have cornered the market on that.”
“I—” But Hollyn’s voice cut off when Andi’s words registered.
“Hmm?” Andi asked, looking at Hollyn over the rim of her coffee cup.
Hollyn gave Jasper a long look, watching as he leaned onto the counter, bicep flexing, hair falling across his forehead. Warmth tracked over her, settling low. “Nothing.”
“So when’s your next lesson?”
Hollyn dragged her attention back to her friend. “Tonight.”
“Nice. What are y’all working on?”
“I’m not sure.” An idea flitted through Hollyn’s head. A dangerous one. “But I may have some suggestions.”
* * *
“We having a party or are you just really hungry?” Fitz asked, eyeing Jasper as he stepped into the kitchen.
“I have a friend coming over tonight from WorkAround,” Jasper said, dropping three large pizza boxes onto the kitchen island. “But I got enough for you, if you want any.”
“Thanks. Who’s coming?”
The scent of the pizza made Jasper’s stomach rumble. “You might know her. Hollyn, the woman with the curly blond hair who works on the second floor?”
Fitz pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and turned toward Jasper. “I don’t know her personally, but I’ve seen her around. Hot date? Need me to be scarce?”