Hollyn. Hollyn. Hollyn.
His tongue dipped into her and she jerked against him, her muscles stiffening in his hold. He held her firm when she tried to wiggle away, and the feel of her coming apart against his mouth was a revelation. Hollyn didn’t come like the quiet woman she was day to day—she came like a freight train, like all those words and thoughts she kept bottled up exploded into a brilliant burst of sensation and ecstasy all at once.
The T-shirt dropped from her mouth, and he softened his attentions as she came down from the high, kissing and licking with softer strokes. She sagged against the headboard, panting, and he gently rolled her off of him and onto her back. She blinked up at him, dazed, her hair a golden riot of curls around her head. “That was… You should charge for that.”
He laughed. “I’ll consider it as a backup profession if this comedy thing doesn’t work out.”
She smiled a drunk-on-lust smile and looped her arms around his neck. “Nah, you don’t need a backup. It’s going to work out. If I haven’t told you yet, you’re fucking amazing, Jasper.”
“I think you mean amazing at fucking,” he teased.
She shook her head, the humor falling from her face. “No, I know what I mean. I saw the show last night. You’re talented as hell. You’ll get your dream.”
He leaned down to kiss her, the words meaning more to him than they should. Had anyone ever told him that? Believed in him without adding fine print? It was usually… You’re talented but it’s a tough business. It’s good to dream but you should have a backup plan. Never just You’ll get your dream. You can do it. I believe in you.
But when he looked down into her eyes, he believed her. She really did think he was capable, that it would happen.
“You’re pretty damn incredible yourself,” he said softly.
She smiled a smile that seeped right into his skin, warming him from the inside out. He didn’t trust himself to speak again, so he reached out and found the condom. He tossed the wrapper aside and rolled it on. Then, without any games or jokes or antics, he slid his hand behind her knee, opened her body to him, and made love to her. Slow and deep and never dropping the eye contact.
As he rocked into her, relishing the feel of not having to rush, he watched her watching him back. When they’d first met, all she’d wanted to do was hide from him. Turn her face away. Run. Now she was here with him, as naked and vulnerable as a person could be, and she wasn’t running. She was boldly staring back, one hundred percent feeling this moment with him. Confident and sexy. It filled him up with a satisfaction that had nothing to do with how good his body was feeling.
Hollyn cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss her. He closed his eyes and felt his hold on the situation slipping. All this time, he’d been holding on to the edge of the pool, always with a hand safely on the cement. He wasn’t going to sink into the deep end again. He wasn’t going to choke on the water.
But when Hollyn whispered his name against his lips and he buried deep inside her, coming along with her, he felt his grip slip.
He was going to drown.
And if he didn’t stop it, he was going to take her down with him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hollyn padded into her kitchen in thick, fuzzy socks and yoga pants, humming a little tune. Jasper had headed home to shower and change clothes since he had a late-morning shift at the coffee bar today. After he’d left, she’d felt inspired and had typed up a few posts. She’d even started drafting a review of the Hail Yes group. She wanted to do that one on video and surprise Jasper. But until then, she’d get to spend some one-on-one time with Cal because Jasper had a packed schedule for the next two days and she’d taken the time off to spend with her BFF.
She opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice, debating whether she should offer to make breakfast or take Cal to a jazz brunch. When she set the juice down and reached for a glass from the cabinet, the floorboards squeaked behind her.
“Morning.” Cal’s deep voice rumbled through the quiet kitchen.
“Morning.” She turned with a smile and then winced at the ashen face of her best friend. “Oh shit. I thought you said you could handle your alcohol. You look like roadkill.”
Cal grunted and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I can usually handle it fine. But I may have panic station finished off that half bottle of wine you had in the fridge after you went to bed. I may be hella good hating myself right now.”
“You finished the wine?” Her eyebrows lifted. “Okay, George Thorogood. You drink alone?”
“I wasn’t exactly kill the lights alone.” He reached past her to grab a glass from her cabinet and then filled it with tap water. “I needed to hella good drink so I wouldn’t tic all over the place with your new friend. You know how it is with strangers.”
“You and Jasper hung out?” she asked, turning her back to him to pour her juice and trying to sound nonchalant. She hoped Cal had slept hard and hadn’t heard anything this morning. Talk about awkward.
“We talked for a while before he went to bed. Your bed.” Cal sniffed. “I didn’t realize y’all were at the panic station sleeping-over stage already. Seems fast.”
She turned at that, frowning. “Seems fast? Okay, Mr. Judgy.”
He took a long sip of water. “I’m just saying, how long have you been seeing this guy? Half a second?”
“Not that it’s your business but over a month. Would you like a side of bacon with that slut-shaming?”
He grunted. “I’m not hella good shaming you. I’m just—”
But she was too irritated at the implication to let him finish. “You’re just telling me a month is too fast. So the only women you sleep with are long-term girlfriends?”
“No, I’m saying that kill the lights I don’t have anyone sleeping over,” he said in frustration. “That’s different than sex.”
She rolled her eyes. “So you just send them on their way when you’re done? Because that’s better.”
Cal took another gulp of water and eyed her, his mouth in a grim line, his shoulder shrugging. “I’m not trying to be a kill the lights dick. And I’m not judging you for hooking up. It’s just… I’m worried about you, okay? Sleeping next to someone can make something feel more serious than it actually hella good is. It makes it feel…like something real.”
Something real. An ache went through her.
“I know it’s not that serious, all right?” she said with a petulant tone. Her stomach twisted in a knot, though, Cal’s point feeling all too close to that rush of emotion she’d been hit with this morning. “It’s not like Jasper is leading me on or something. We’re just having fun and seeing where things go.”