He stepped a little closer but didn’t touch her. “Of course. Look, do what you need to do. Even if that means working this Jasper thing out of your system. I’ve loved you for a long time, Tate. If I need to wait a little longer, that’s okay. I want to be with you, but only if you want to be with me back.”
She blinked, her eyes wet. “I do love you, Cal. You know that. I just need some time.”
He made a wry sound under his breath and muttered, “Fuck.”
“What?”
“I just realized something. I’m having a Duckie moment.” He looked up at her with a smirk. “You made me watch that movie so many times, it’s burned into my brain. The best friend’s in love with the girl, and the girl is dating Mr. Popularity. I really hope this movie ends better than that one did for the best friend.”
She choke-laughed, tears clogging her throat. Cal knew how much she had a love-hate relationship with that movie. She’d done blog posts on why the ending of Pretty in Pink was bullshit. “Are you going to start lip-synching ‘Try a Little Tenderness’? Because I am so here for that.”
He laughed a weary laugh and pulled her into a hug, sitting his chin atop her head. The embrace felt so familiar, so warm and comfortable. She could have this all the time if she wanted it. And more. She could have all of it with Cal. “I’ll do whatever it takes to show you that you mean everything to me. Including giving you space. I can head back home today.”
She stepped back, frowning. “Oh, no, you don’t—”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m hungover anyway. A little tenderness. Dammit.”
She cringed. “Shit. Sorry.”
He sighed. “Not your fault. Tenderness. But this has been a lot for me, too. I’m going to find some hair of the dog and wander like a tourist for a little while and then head back to Baton Rouge. A little tenderness.” He made a sound of irritation and balled his fist. “God, this fucking disorder.”
She reached out and squeezed his arm in empathy.
He took a cleansing breath, obviously trying to calm the tic. “The last thing I want is to make you feel cornered. Tenderness. Get some breathing room. I’ll be here—apparently endlessly quoting Otis Redding—when you want to talk.”
The tightness in her chest softened. How could she not love this guy? This was Cal. The boy who never let his disorder slow him down. The guy who stood up for her when no other kid would. They could be so good together. She loved the guy down to her very soul. A few months ago, she wouldn’t have even paused in her response. But her experiences with Jasper were clouding things. Which was stupid because she hadn’t been lying to Cal—she knew what she had with Jasper was temporary. They weren’t even technically dating. It was a friendship at best, a farce at worst. Still, she couldn’t just take the leap.
Cal deserved someone who would walk into a relationship with him with no doubts, with full enthusiasm. She wasn’t there in this moment.
She needed space. She needed to think. This morning had been…mind-warping.
“Thank you,” she said.
He smiled, a hint of resignation there. “Sure.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
He nodded and put his hands on her shoulders, expression serious. “Just please. Really think through things from all angles. This is going to sound like a try a little tenderness shitty thing to say, and it’s the last time I’m going to say anything about Jasper, but I know what it’s like to be hot for someone. Sexual chemistry is a legit thing. I’ve had those kinds of instant physical connections, too. Tenderness. And you and Jasper probably have that. But believe me, it burns bright and fizzles fast. Time will show that. There needs to be more than that a little tenderness to sustain a relationship. We’ve got chemistry, but we’ve also got history and friendship and a lot more layered into that. We’ve weathered things together. Solid bricks under our feet, not sand.”
She wet her lips. “Okay.”
He let out a breath and leaned forward to kiss her twitching cheek. Then, without another word, he left the kitchen, leaving her with a pit in her stomach and no idea what to do.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jasper sat across from Fitz’s desk, taking in the view the corner office at WorkAround afforded and trying not to bounce his knee as he waited for his friend. He needed to be focused for this meeting, but he’d been distracted as hell the last two days, knowing Hollyn was hanging out with Cal. He’d wanted to give her time with her friend and not act like a possessive asshole, but Jasper couldn’t shake the talk he’d had with Cal that night at Hollyn’s.
Cal wanted Hollyn. Not for a hookup, not to date casually, but in the you’re-my-one-and-only-forever way. Cal was willing to sacrifice it all for Hollyn, and he had history with her to back it up. Even though Jasper had been the one to spend that night in her bed, he’d been hit with how out of his league he was in the contest when he’d left the next morning. What did he have to offer Hollyn besides some improv advice and a good time in bed? His near-empty bank account? His borrowed apartment?
So for the last two days, Jasper had been running every scenario in his head and driving himself crazy. Had Cal confessed his love to her? Had she fallen into his arms? Were they currently strolling hand in hand through the French Quarter, sharing beignets and licking sugar off each other’s lips? Ugh.
He’d wanted to ask Hollyn so badly, but all they’d done since the morning he left was exchange a few texts. He’d been crazy busy with work, and she’d told him she’d see him when Cal left town. Plus, he didn’t want to be that guy, text stalking her. He was trying to give her space, trying to give himself space because of all the things he’d been feeling for her that last morning, but it wasn’t working. His brain was running around like a dog chasing its tail.
So when Fitz had texted Jasper that he wanted to chat about the business plan whenever Jasper got his break, he’d welcomed the new thing to worry about. But now that he was waiting in Fitz’s office, his mental dog was off and running again, chasing in a different direction. What if his business plan totally sucked and no one was interested and Fitz was giving up on him and kicking him out? That was where his mind went. Because if you’re going to panic spiral, why not go for it with gusto.
The door whooshed open behind him, and Fitz strolled in, all crisp suit and expensive cologne. He smiled at Jasper as he settled into his chair. “Hey.” He emptied two sugar packets into the coffee Jasper had brought him. “Sorry. My last meeting ran long. Thanks for the coffee.”
“No problem.”
Fitz took a gulp of his coffee and then quirked a brow at him. “So, I’ve got news.”