“Oh yes.” I shake my head. “That’s part of the reason I wanted to hang out so badly this morning. I needed to get away from there.”
I feel my chest sink as confusion rips through me.
Zach knows I love him, and his reaction was to offer me a glass of water?
But at the same time, I can’t totally fault him. The way I said it wasn’t deliberate—it just slipped out.
We continue conversing, and she laughs at the fact that Andrew walked in on us.
Fiona wiggles her eyebrows. “I bet he wanted in on the action, you know?”
I swallow. “Nah.” I wave her off.
She bites her lip. “I mean, you’ve never thought about it?”
I tense up. “Thought about what?”
“Being with two guys at the same time?”
My body stiffens like a board. I take a final bite of my bacon and start on the eggs.
“I didn’t say I hadn’t thought about it. But you know, it would get weird. Probably.”
She winks. “Oh yeah, it would get way weird.”
Throwing my head back in laughter, I shake my head playfully. “You’ve changed so much, Fiona. What’s gotten into you the last few years?”
She rolls her eyes and smiles. “Oh, stop it. I mean, you said the Andrew guy is cute, right?”
Tension bubbles up in my throat and chest. “You’ve really latched on to the details of my living arrangements, haven’t you?”
“All I’m saying is . . . never mind. I’m just kidding around.” She waves a hand. The server comes by to check on us and we tell her it’s all good.
“But seriously. It’s good to know you’re back in the area. I’ll forgive you for taking so long to let me know you were here, but you’ve got to start hanging out with us. Savannah is here too. We’ll have to have a reunion.”
“That sounds fantastic!”
“So . . . you told me about this crazy romance you’ve been having with this guy. But question: Are you going to live with him for like . . . good now? We have an extra room opening up. We’d love to have you stay. And Georgette is a manager at a cocktail bar in downtown Nashville. She could totally get you a job there. You’d make bank in just a few nights a week.”
I feel my heart surge. “That sounds ideal.”
My mind wanders back to Zach, though. Even if he can’t say he loves me, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me more than any man I’ve ever been with.
“But no, thanks,” I say, waving her off. “Thank you so much for the offer, though. I have a good situation going right now.”
She shrugs. “Well, if you need the room, just let me know.”
I nod. But there’s someone else I’d rather be living with. And that’s the truth.
For now, at least.
When I get home, Zach is in the shower, and I consider jumping in with him, just like the first night we arrived here.
He’s been nothing short of amazing during our first month in Nashville. I’ve felt a level of support that I couldn’t have even imagined back when I was in Blackwell with my dad and stepmom.
Still, there’s a darkness behind his eyes sometimes. I don’t see it all the time. But last night, when he was ready to unleash on Roddy, my mind raced with worry that he might do something unthinkable—like beat Roddy beyond recognition. And it would end up being my fault.
Silent as he is, Zach is a good man. But Fiona’s words ring in my ears about her extra room. Did I push things too fast last night? Maybe it’s all my fault. Should I be the one to pump the brakes?
When it seemed like the right time to ask Zach a little more about our “love” conversation, all he did was offer me a glass of water.
Nevertheless, I wouldn’t haven’t come so far if it weren’t for him. I wouldn’t be in Nashville if he hadn’t brought me here.
Sighing, I pull up his computer. I need to check the schedule for the open mics for the next few nights. Might as well get back into it, even though last night was a disaster of a “performance,” and I didn’t even get to perform in front of the agent.
But when I pull up Zach’s screen, I see he has a flight booked to San Francisco.
What the hell would he be doing out there?
Maybe it’s a surprise trip for us?
But it’s for just one adult.
That’s when it hits me. I feel almost dizzy. Of course, Zach won’t say he loves me.
I’m not special.
We haven’t even had “the talk” about exclusivity.
My anxiety skyrockets, and all of a sudden, I feel incredibly foolish.
This is too good to be true. We’re just living out the honeymoon phase of our relationship, and then we’ll be done.
My mind races. When Zach comes out of the shower, water dripping off him, I feel my heart thumping.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey.” I swallow, averting my eyes.
“You sneaked out of here early. How was breakfast?” he asks.
“Good . . . fun.”
“Good and fun.”
“Yeah,” I respond, averting my eyes.
Why do I feel like I’m hiding something?
I’m not the one who’s hiding something. He is.
“Hey, so I was thinking, I talked to Andrew, and since he’s a photographer…he could do a classy boudoir photo shoot with you?”
“Oh? So like…sexy pics?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I mean, it’d be more of an experiment anyway. Just to see how they would look. And then if you like them, maybe we could do something with them, especially if they toe the line between classy and sexy. For your musician promotion and stuff. What do you think?”
My mind is racing with other thoughts, but I just say, “Yeah, sure, sounds great.”
Once he’s dressed, Zach comes over to my side of the bed and takes my hands in his. “So I’ve got to take off for a few days. It’s no big deal. There’s just some stuff I’ve got to take care of.”
“Oh? Where are you going?”
He shrugs. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Oh, all right. When are you leaving?”
“Leaving tonight,” he says, and his voice catches. Something sounds off.
“This is sort of sudden.”
“I know. But I need to go to . . . I just need to take off for a bit. I’ve been thinking a lot about some stuff.”
I clench my teeth. “You’re not going to tell me where you’re going?”
“I’m going out west for a few days. There’s just something I need to take care of there.”
I feel my heart palpitating.
“That’s fine,” I say. “I guess I’ll see you in a few days then.”
I offer him a faint smile, the most I can muster. I kiss him on the cheek, my chest aching.
He nods, but he seems distant.
“What is going on with you?” I pry.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You can tell me, you know. If you’re not fine.”
“I’m fine,” he says back roughly, and I feel my skin tingle with a weird sort of fear.
“If you say so.”