“My sister makes me watch White Christmas every year.”
“Oh no.”
“Right. It’s brutal.”
“Brutal?” She laughs. “Oof. That’s harsh. That’s the one that they sing about sisters and on a train. ”
“It’s the truth,” I counter. “In fact, your examples just now only prove my point.”
In the background, I hear someone calling her name. Her mother, maybe. “Just a second!” Ashley calls out, the sound muffled slightly. With a heavy sigh, she tells me, “I’m being summoned to help decorate a gingerbread house.”
“Fun.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” she grumbles.
“Ashley?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for calling me. It was good to hear your voice.”
“It was good to hear yours, too.”
“Call me when you’re back in town? And let me know about the doctors’ appointments. I want to get them on my schedule. Maybe we can meet for dinner, too.”
“Absolutely.”
After hanging up, I shove my phone in my jeans pocket and stay outside for a few more minutes, enjoying the silence and solitude. I’ve never been one for crowds or in the middle of a lot of activity. My comfort zone is being by myself or a few select people. Luckily, two of those people are sitting inside the house right now, waiting for me to come inside and share whatever I’ve learned from my phone call.
Problem is, the only thing I’ve really learned is that I have the potential of becoming a jealous asshole when it comes to Ashley. I best get a handle on that quick.
Chapter Nine
Ashley
There’s no way I’m going to survive this appointment without throwing up all over the doctor. Or maybe Nik. Or the nurse. Maybe just myself. I have no idea why I’m so nervous, though.
I’m sitting in my car staring out the windshield when I see Nik climb out of a very large dark gray truck and I immediately know why I’m so nervous.
Because I’m about to go into my first obstetrician appointment with Nik by my side and everyone is going to ask questions, then they’ll take one look at this gorgeous man and wonder what he was thinking.
He wasn’t.
He was drunk off his ass.
We spent just two nights together — really, really good nights — and now he’s stuck with me for life. Having a baby with someone doesn’t last only the nine months until the baby is born. We’ll be making decisions together for the next two decades regarding the baby.
Nik walks in my direction with this swagger and smirk that is usually reserved for models and A-list actors. His jeans could not fit him more perfectly. I remember staring at his thighs and tight, round ass — the ass that has a teddy bear holding a heart tattooed on it — and wondering if he ever, even once, missed leg day. Not likely. Though, based on my memory of him, which is extensive, I don’t think he’s ever missed ab day or arm day or back or shoulder day or any other day that people in far better shape than me participate in.
He lifts a hand in a wave, his dark eyes aimed right at me. I blow out a stuttering breath. He’s so attractive it’s intimidating.
I tell myself, “He’s just a man, Ashley. That’s all. Nothing more than a man. A beautiful, strong, handsome, kind man who’s seen you naked and been inside you and let’s not forget that he got you pregnant one of those times he was inside you.”
Great pep talk, Ashley. Not creepy or weird at all.
I dip my head so he can’t see my face, roll my eyes at myself and grab my bag from the passenger seat. He opens the door and slides inside, sitting where I just pulled my bag from.
“What are you doing?”
“Saw you sitting here worried. Figured you needed a few extra minutes before going in and hearing from the doctor what we already know. But, Josie said we won’t hear the heartbeat quite yet because it’s too soon. Unless they do an ultrasound that gets shoved up… well, it sounds really uncomfortable. So I’m leaving that decision to you.”
“Did Josie have that done?”
“Don’t ask a lot of questions when it comes to my sister’s vagina so I can’t say for sure yes or no.”
A giggle bursts out of me and I relax just a little. Nik turns in his seat, his body taking up every inch of space in the passenger seat of my car. I never thought I had a small vehicle until he came along. Now it looks like a matchbox car.
“Little small for you?”
He grumbles. “This fucking car is tiny. It can’t be safe.”
“It’s a fine automobile,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes.
He grins. “I believe you.”
“I’m not buying a new car.”
He looks in the back seat and to me. The car is very tiny. “Right.” Something tells me I’m going to buy a new car, but it’s not because of him. His not so subtle reminder that I’ll need something slightly larger to accommodate a car seat wasn’t needed. I already knew this. “Okay, are you ready to go in?”
“No.”
He sits back, knees up against the dash, and turns his head toward me. “It’s going to be okay, Ashley. I promise. I’ll be there every single step of the way and we’ll get through it together.”
When Nik grabs my hand and squeezes once, something inside me chips away and I lower a few of the defenses I had built up around my heart. Becoming vulnerable to another person is risky and I admit, at least to myself, that it’s one of the reasons I’ve not had successful relationships in the past. “You promise? Because I’ve gotta be honest here. I’m scared out of my mind to do this.”
“To do what specifically?”
“Become a mom. Make decisions that affect another person’s life.”
“And where do I fit into this equation? Do I factor into any of this fear?”
I blow out a breath and fiddle with my purse’s shoulder strap. “You don’t scare me,” I admit, “but not knowing you does.”
“We’ll fix that, though. Remember when you called to tell me the appointment time, I told you I would clear the rest of the day to spend with you. I did that and I’m planning on it. We can go wherever it is you feel most comfortable and I don’t care if you ask me questions all day long, just as long as at the end of the day you realize that I’m not going to bail on you.”
“We need to meet each other’s families, too,” I add. It’s not at the top of our list of things to do, but does need to happen. We live close to them and they’re a big part of our lives separately, they will be a major part of this baby’s life, too.
He nods once. “Whenever you’re ready for that, too.”
“You’re being too perfect,” I grumble.
“Want me to act like an asshole?” he jokes. “I’m not always perfect, Ashley. Far from it, actually. I have my moments like everyone else. But when it comes to this baby and what you need from me? I’m there for you and that won’t change.”
I can’t imagine Zachary would have been the same if I had gotten pregnant by him. He would have said I was trapping him and blamed me. He wouldn’t have cleared his schedule to spend the day with me just to answer any questions I have for him. Keeping my heart intact and not falling for Nik will be hard to do if he doesn’t lessen the perfection he’s sporting. Would it be so hard for him to be a jerk for a minute or two? At the very least, he could have an acne flare-up so when he’s being perfect he isn’t so damn attractive.