He cracked a small smirk too. “You’re right, Blaze. I’m not usually the one on my knees.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder so hard he toppled off-balance and fell back to sit on his heels. He popped right back up, employing that athletic grace that always turned my belly into a gymnastics meet, before wrapping his large hand around the back of my neck so quickly, I didn’t have time to process what was happening. When he pulled me so close that our foreheads were touching, I could feel his panting breaths fan across my face.
“You’re testing me, woman. I’m trying here. Cut me some slack.”
My breathing was just as ragged, but I managed to answer. “I’m not sure you deserve it, Tree. Are you?”
“No. I probably don’t.” He stunned me again, this time with his fervent sincerity. “But do you hear me saying I’m sorry? I fucked up. I was pissed off, and I made some terribly insensitive remarks. It doesn’t make it right, it doesn’t give me an excuse, but I am apologizing.”
More of his unvarnished honesty mixed with the most earnest I’d ever seen him led to my ultimate undoing. Once more, tears built before they came—and now, there was no way to choke them back. I hated crying, especially in front of other people. The last thing I needed with this man was another open show of vulnerability.
“Oh, baby.” Grant’s tender croon was like salt in an open wound. “Don’t cry.”
He completely ignored my attempts to hold him at bay and hugged me tightly to his chest, wrapping his long arms around my back. God, he felt so good. So strong. So safe. So perfect and terrifying all at the same time.
Somewhere deep inside me, a dam burst, and I began to sob. Precisely what I was trying to avoid. But Grant held me while I trembled and rocked with it. Even by the end, when I sniffled and sputtered from it.
“Better?” he finally cooed, leaning back a bit to see my face. He stroked my short hair back off my forehead, and his long fingers felt divine scraping across my scalp. I wanted to curse and shout all over again at the unfairness of the universe bringing this fantastic man directly in my path at the most fucked-up time of my existence.
“Blaze?” he asked quietly, and the sincerity of his tone captured my full attention.
“Hmm?” The sound had to be a stand-in for an answer because I didn’t trust my voice with recognizable words yet. I observed him through the gaze I narrowed again, concerned about what he was about to ask. After all, it hadn’t been the first time he’d seen me fall apart, and maybe he was over it. This time, for good.
“Can I get up yet?”
It was the ideal break to the heavy emotional cloud that had settled over us. We burst out laughing as Grant unfolded his tall frame and groaned. As he stood, he massaged his leg muscles, and I watched with hungry interest.
“Totally worth it.” He gave me a quick wink. The mischief that twinkled in his midnight eyes could’ve been one of the stars that were currently trying to make its presence seen in the overhead sky.
Once again, I was touched by the many facets of this complex man. For every panty-slaying move he knew how to execute, there was a genuine, kind, well-mannered gesture to balance it out.
Simply put, Grant Twombley was perfect.
“Do you have any flaws, Tree? At all?” I stood on the cushion of the sunbed with my bare feet, bringing Grant about eye level with my breasts. After a fast hum of approval, he quickly gripped my hips, and I held his shoulders while finishing my thought. “It’s so unfair to the rest of mankind that you are this perfect.”
He looked up to meet my gaze. “You think I’m perfect?”
“Well…” I tilted my head, barely able to hide my playful smile. “I think some women would think you are.”
“I don’t care what other women think,” he countered. “What’s on your mind, Blaze?”
He issued it with such intense interest, I was almost taken aback. He really cared about my answer, and it showed in his steady gaze, his complete focus. I owed him the same with my answer, which I gave after a moment of quiet thoughtfulness.
“This trip definitely has given me a lot of time to think,” I confessed. “But I’m pretty sure it was your devious plan all the while,” I accused with absolutely no anger.
“Well, that and a lot of uninterrupted sex.”
“Oh, yeah. There is that.” I grinned and knocked his shoulder.
“Quit trying to change the subject,” he chided before pulling my face toward his and planting a quick kiss on the tip of my nose. “Come on. Let me get settled in here. I really want to hear what you have to say.”
He climbed onto the bed and then settled against the cushioned backrest of the inset bed. Once there, he motioned for me to come to him. While his embrace was so tempting, I hesitated for a few seconds. It was already difficult for me to discuss self-discovery topics. Throw in an audience of one very attentive, charming, good-looking, tall, imposing, Dominant man and, well, yeah… My nerves skyrocketed to Venus and back.
But damn it, I had to start somewhere. And Grant’s larger frame always provided a safe harbor for me, on top of his uncanny instinct about knowing when I craved the feeling of his protection. I needed that right now, more than ever before. His physical presence lent me the strength to deal with the topic that had left me emotionally and psychologically crippled for most of my life.
We lay that way for a few minutes. Each time I thought I was ready to start talking, I’d chicken out. Grant knew I was having a hard time kicking off the conversation, when he finally said, “Take all the time you need, baby. It’s just us here, and we have nowhere else to be.”
I inhaled his cologne one more time and enjoyed how the ocean mist brought out the familiar citrus and cedar notes. That, combined with his reassuring hold, at last imbued me with the courage to talk. “Thank you for being patient. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I keep stumbling over it all in my mind.”
He dipped his head down, bussing the top of my head. “Like I said, baby, no rush.”
I traced some designs into the center of his chest while taking another deep breath. “Well, first…I know I haven’t been easy to deal with lately, and I’m sorry about that.”
“Rio. You have good reason to be on edge.” He started rhythmic strokes up and down my back, soothing me beyond measure. Would there ever be a moment when the man didn’t know exactly what my body, mind, and soul needed? God, I hoped not. But this was about more than my stress levels right now. This was about me confronting the ways they’d made me act out.
“You can’t keep making excuses for me,” I asserted. “At some point, I have to take responsibility for myself and my actions.”
“I like taking care of you. I wish you would understand that. It feeds my Dominant nature.”
“I do understand that. But taking care of a few everyday needs for me is one thing. Enabling me to live in denial about a mental health problem is another thing altogether.” I watched him with a fixed stare until he answered. After he gave a gentle nod, I was more comfortable moving into the more practiced part of what I’d wanted to say. I didn’t want to give him a lecture, and I certainly wasn’t interested in blaming him for anything. For the first time in my life, I had some clarity on the way I was feeling and what was going on with me. It was essential to share it all with him if he was going to continue to be in my life.