My phone vibrated again, and I jumped when I realized I never answered the last text like I had meant to. I read the message on the screen and smiled a small smile. At least I could allow myself to do that when I was locked away with Robert. He wouldn’t tell anyone my secret. I just needed to pull my shit together and leave my little hideout and go back to our cabin. There was no way I could fall back into bed with the man, though.
But there was also no way I could keep letting myself fall deeper for him emotionally, either. One of us was going to get hurt, and I knew my heart couldn’t withstand any more pain. That tattered organ had battle wounds as though it had been on the front lines of a war with no weapon for defense and no armor for protection. Grant didn’t deserve that kind of pain either. Shit, he had been nothing short of accommodating, doting, and amazing. The model good-looking playboy millionaire deserved someone better than me and my laundry list of eccentricities. And that was the nice way of putting it. In a crueler mood, I’d have used terms like volatile, irrational, and insane.
Tough words for the tough love I was trying to impress upon myself. It didn’t feel any better than it sounded. Grant would like it even less.
But the matter was settled. It was time for me to put on a mask of indifference and, from now on, resist the sexy charms of the magnificent Mr. Twombley. We were nearly to Honolulu and would have a few days on land in Hawaii before we started the return leg home. I’d be able to get through it all if I kept up the personal pep talks and also avoided any skin-to-skin contact with the man. Or so I’d have to keep telling myself.
I sighed, gave my sweet Robert one last scratch under his chin, and rolled off the bed. I gave my hair a quick finger comb in the helm-shaped mirror on the wall and then was off to find out what was so important that Mr. Twombley was texting me like a teenager with his first phone.
The boat had been providing a sense of safety I’d quickly gotten used to, so I walked with carefree ease through the passageways. The mental security likely came from the defined physical space and the fact that no new passengers had come on board or gone ashore since we left Los Angeles. Whatever the reason, I would definitely miss it when we arrived in Hawaii. My mind rarely found a safe haven from anxious thoughts, bitter memories, or guilt-laden recriminations. For a person like me, the biggest pitfall of spending too much time with her own thoughts often were those very thoughts themselves.
“There you are,” he said, sitting up from where he lounged against the headboard, tapping away on his laptop. I didn’t miss the way his shirtless torso and trim waist looked in the track pants slung low around his hips. Nope. Not one single inch.
“Here I am,” I responded in the same bright tone, darting my eyes around the room. Looking anywhere but back at his graceful body and effortless gorgeousness.
“I was trying to get hold of you.”
“I got your texts. I was giving the kitty boy some attention. I think he must be lonely, because he poured on the guilt after I fed him.” I rolled my eyes heavenward at my next admission. “I was putty in his paws after that.”
Grant studied me while I spoke, and damn if I didn’t fall right into the lure of his deep blue eyes. Somehow, he managed to look even better now that he had some color on his skin. The sun-kissed bronze tone set off his blond hair and the mischievous smirk that always made my panties damp.
“So, what did you need to talk about?” I asked.
“I got a phone call from Bas.”
His face remained utterly impassive when he delivered the news, and I guessed he must have practiced saying the sentence a few times to do so without emotion. I couldn’t miss the way his jaw pulsed at the joint, though, as he clenched it shut, or the way both fists were balled in the bedspread, either.
“Don’t look so giddy about it there, chief,” I teased, trying to thin some of the heavy air that settled over the room like a June morning fog. If just mentioning the almighty Shark’s name was having this sort of effect on him, I was dreading the rest of the conversation before we even had it.
“I didn’t actually speak to him. He left a voice mail.” Grant closed his laptop and stood, captivating me as he always did with the graceful way he moved. “We must have been out of range when he called,” he finally said, refocusing my attention.
The grin that took over my face was a wicked one. I knew it as sure as I knew the sun would set in the west. But I also knew I did nothing to stop it from spreading once it started. The bite in my tone matched accordingly. “Well, I’m sure that pissed him off. He called to say jump, and you weren’t immediately available to ask how high.”
“That’s not how our relation—”
“Really?” I cut him off. “Come on, big guy. Do you really not see how that man runs you around town to do his bidding?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, and it would save you a lot of embarrassment to not shoot your mouth off for once,” Grant fired back.
I just stared at him. I went to answer…and then shut my mouth again. No. Fuck that! If he wanted to throw down with me over Sebastian Shark, then the gloves would come off.
“Pardon me?” I gave my head a little shake as if clearing a mental cloud. “What did you just say to me?”
“I don’t think you really need me to repeat myself, right? Especially because I’m not looking to argue with you, Rio.”
“Well, I think you might be when you tell me to ‘shut my mouth for once in my life.’” I gestured wildly with air quotes around the rude words he’d just let fly.
“That’s not what I said.”
“Grant. I heard you. I’m standing right here. I mean, I get that everyone treats me like I’m invisible, but I’m literally in the same room with you. I also have excellent hearing.”
“Yes. I know where you were standing. It’s rare a moment that passes when I’m not aware of your exact location, Blaze.”
“Then why do you deny what you said?” I fired back.
“Because you are mistaken. I said—”
“Cut the bullshit, Twombley. Own up to your words. Just like the other day in there.” I stabbed my index finger toward our cabin’s bathroom. Yeah, it was high time we dealt with the big masturbating elephant in the room, too. “I heard you, by the way.” I raised one eyebrow expectantly in his direction. “Do you want to explain that bullshit?”
“Bullshit?” he repeated as he prowled closer to where I stood. I wouldn’t let him intimidate me though and refused to move as he neared.
“You think that was bullshit?” The dangerous look in his cobalt eyes matched the marked drop of his volume. “News flash, baby. For most people, feelings and emotions aren’t considered bullshit.”
He was toe-to-toe with me by now, and I had to tilt my head back to meet his threatening stare. I told myself the hasty steps I retreated were to ease the angle of my posture, but my thundering heart told a different story. When my back met the bulkhead, I knew I was truly trapped. Pinned by him—emotionally as well as physically.
After quickly closing the space I had just created between us, Grant flattened his palms on the wall on either side of my head.
“Look at me,” he issued, but I couldn’t—I wouldn’t—comply. But that didn’t matter. The bastard simply slipped his thumbs under my jaw and maneuvered my head upward. His glare was waiting—and intense.