Sallie inhaled slowly, deeply. “I don’t recall lying to you, Jacob,” she told him coolly. “You asked if he impressed me. I merely answered you.”
He straightened from the half-sitting position against the front of his desk, his arms dropping to his sides as he regarded for long, silent moments.
“Why did you marry him, Sallie?” he asked her then. “Were you in love with him?”
Was she in love with him? She wanted to laugh at the question.
No, she hadn’t loved him. She’d been too hurt, too angry that Jacob hadn’t returned for her as he’d promised. She’d been humiliated, confused.
“You don’t have the right to ask either of those questions.” She didn’t even bother to hide the fact that she didn’t appreciate the inquisition.
There was no way to answer him without revealing far too much of herself and how she’d felt about Jacob. Unfortunately, time hadn’t erased those emotions and the past month had only strengthened them.
She’d been a fool for him then and evidently, she was still a fool for him.
In the deepest part of her heart Sallie ached for what might have been had he not been in that explosion and hurt so bad he’d forgotten her. If he had returned as he’d promised, at least there would have been closure.
“I have every right to ask those questions,” he snapped. “I didn’t walk away from you, Sallie. You know that now.”
Sallie swallowed tightly at the regret she heard in his voice. She wanted to beg him to tell her how he felt all those years ago. But she liked to think she did still have some pride left. Whatever he’d felt had been wiped away with his memories, and it hadn’t had the time to lie in wait inside him, to shadow every possible relationship until he realized only one person could relieve that ache for touch, for warmth.
What was wrong with her? She knew women who claimed to love one man while they slept with several others. They would cry and swear their heart belonged to another while taking a succession of men into their beds and making do with the fantasy that they were with the man they loved.
Maybe her imagination just wasn’t good enough to allow herself to do that.
“Why I married him or how I felt about him doesn’t have anything to do with the situation I’m in now,” she informed him.
“It does if I have to kill the bastard,” he snarled. “Because if I find out he was a part of this, I will kill him, Sallie. No matter how much you fucking cry, he’ll be dead.”
Sallie pushed to her feet from the couch she’d been sitting on, anger surging to the surface to meet his.
“Do what you have to do, Jacob,” she told him furiously. “I’ve lost five years of my life because of someone’s determination to either find you, or him. But for your own sake, be certain of the reason you’re killing him. I’d hate for you to learn you’ve killed an innocent man.” She jabbed a finger in his direction as she fought to control her anger. “Whoever the bastard that attacked me is looking for, he deserves killing. But remember, I was married to John for a year. If it was you he wanted, he could have asked me about you at any time.”
“He knew you had no idea what my real name was, or the fact that I was an agent,” he pointed out. The dark, furious tone should have had her retreating rather than facing him, but her own anger was impossible to push back. “He would have kept pushing, until either you or Rance broke and contacted me or found me. Rance brought you here, Sallie. Why did he do that?”
Her lips thinned at the accusation in his tone. “Because Myron Dillerman owed him one hell of a favor and believed Rance needed to get his dead wife’s daughter out of his life, that’s why.” Her voice rose despite her attempt to calm down. “And it was no more than the truth. Mother made Rance swear he’d continue to protect me before her death, and he keeps his promises whether he likes it or not.”
And she’d accepted his help because she had no idea how to protect herself from the unknown assailant that seemed to find her, no matter where she ran.
“Coincidence?” The mockery in his voice was evident. “You believe you ended up in my hometown, right under my nose, because of coincidence?”
“No one knew who you were.” She felt as though she were arguing with the wall. No doubt the wall would pay more attention to what she said. “How could you be a target when no one knew?”
“How could I have not been the target, because, baby, there’s no way in hell coincidence stretches that far.” He snorted derisively. “Somehow, Rance had to have learned who I was, and where I was. There’s no other explanation.”
“Then why not just send that bastard after you rather than me?” she argued. “Why use me to begin with?”
He stared at her for long moments, eyes narrowed, his expression far too calculating.
“I’ll be sure to ask him,” he drawled, a cold smile tugging at his lips. “If I don’t hear from him by tomorrow afternoon, then I’ll make damned sure he hears from me in a way he won’t care much for. But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit on my ass and give some son of a bitch another chance at you.”
Another chance at her?
“It’s not me they want.” She breathed out heavily and pushed her fingers through her hair in frustration. “Each time I was found the question was the same. ‘Where is he?’ Whether that was you or John, is anyone’s guess. But Rance isn’t involved or he would have just sent me to you. Being forced to keep his promise to Mother can’t sit well with him after all these years, I imagine.”
He’d done it though, and Sallie had always been grateful that he had. Without him, she would have no doubt been dead by now.
“He raised you,” Jacob stated as though that should mean something. “He was the same as your father.”
She lifted a brow and almost laughed. “Where do you get that?”
The look he gave her was almost questioning. “You were five when they married, Sallie. No more than a baby. That’s a lot of years to help raise a kid and not care something for her.”
She shook her head, almost amused. “I had a nanny until I was seven then I was sent away to boarding school. When I came home on vacations, the staff watched after me. Mother and Rance were usually somewhere out of the country. Switzerland was the first time I’d joined them at one of his postings.” She gave him a mocking glance. “And even then, I was introduced as part of his staff, rather than Megan Dougal’s daughter.” She shrugged as he stared at her silently, his expression slowly turning implacable. “Since Rance is clearly avoiding your phone call, I believe I’ll get more coffee.”
She turned to leave the room.
“Your mother didn’t even raise you?” Jacob’s question caught her as she reached the door.
Sallie turned back to him, pondering the question.
“No. Sister Rebecca, the headmistress of the school I was sent to, took care of that for her. Before her, Nonny made certain I had all the attention I could have wanted. Don’t feel sorry for me, Jacob.” She smiled back at him. “Nonny and Sister Rebecca were wonderful caregivers. I wasn’t abused or neglected. No one dared to try to bully me, they were terrified to even try. Sister Rebecca could be quite imposing when she needed to be. I was loved. More so than I would have been if my mother had actually attempted to raise me herself. Now, about that coffee?”