Maven’s smile morphs into a pout. “My mommy did, too, but she was always okay.”
I regret looking at Dallas at the mention of Lucy. His body goes still, and I’m confident his heart is beating faster than anyone on a roller coaster here. The lightness of our time together has been extinguished, a whirl of unease stepping through. He scratches his neck, and I notice a vein popping out from it.
“How about I go with you? I love roller coasters!” Stella quickly offers up, lying to the poor girl.
“Thank you,” I whisper to her while Maven waits for Dallas’s permission.
His eyes are vacant, his face cloaked with pain. He’s checked out.
“I’ll make sure the two of them stay out of trouble,” Hudson says. “You keep introducing Willow to coma-inducing foods and sell Blue Beech to her.”
Dallas pinches the bridge of his nose and nods. I grab my lemon shakeup and suck it down without even bothering to argue with Hudson about the “sell Blue Beech to her” comment. The thought of Dallas showing me around makes me queasier than the meat.
Stella grabs Maven’s hand, and the three of them take off through the pack of people. I’m struggling to find the right words. I want to console Dallas, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. It might push him away more.
Isn’t that what I wanted when I found out I was pregnant?
Now, I’m thriving for more from him.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve admired his love for Lucy. His commitment to her, even when half-dressed women threw themselves at him in hopes of seeing Stella.
Seeing their relationship made you believe in love again.
And that’s why I can’t get close to him.
He’ll never give me that.
You don’t get love like that twice in a lifetime.
You can’t awaken those emotions back out of a broken man.
I need to back off and quit trying to make strides with him that’ll only end up stomping on my heart when I’m forced to face the devastation that he’s just around me because I got knocked up by him.
I don’t realize I’m staring until his hollow eyes meet mine. His Adam’s apple bobs while he piles the plates on top of each other and disposes them into the trash.
He fraudulently smiles down at me. “You ready for your Blue Beech pitch?”
I grab a bag of cotton candy. “I’ll listen, but I’m not someone easily convinced.”
“Oh, Miss Andrews, I can be a very persuasive man.” He must’ve given himself a pep talk on his way to the trash because his excitement meter has risen a few notches.
I shove a handful of cotton candy into my mouth before getting up. We walk in silence, side by side, passing annoyed parents yelling at their children and people spending their paychecks on games that are scamming them.
Everyone stops and stares when we walk past them, like we’re the show animals. A few women have pulled out their phones to record us. We appear as platonic as it gets. Hell, maybe more like strangers, considering we’re not saying a word to each other.
No story here, people.
Don’t twist it into something it’s not.
Because it’s way more complicated than us having sex.
“How about a game?” Dallas asks, breaking my attention away from the crowd of women pointing our way.
I throw them a dirty grimace and set my eyes back on him.
We’ve stopped in front of a ring-toss game with giant animals hanging from the roof of the tent.
“The chances of me winning that small stuffed animal is one in a gazillion, and it will cost me a couple of hundred bucks. I’d rather save my money and buy a new handbag.” Or a crib.
“I like your style.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I’ve blown so much money on those stupid things. Lucy loved them.” He tilts his head toward the flashing lights and spinning rides. “Ferris wheel?”
“I see you live on the wild side.”
“Risky is my middle name. Be right back.”
I combatively stare at him while he jogs over to the ticket booth without waiting to hear my answer.
How do I tell him I’d rather blow my life savings on a game than be stuck in the air with him?
As bad as I want to, I can’t. It’s hard for me to give him shit when it looks like someone ran over his dog.
So, I wait in line.
He hands the bored attendant our tickets and helps me into the car. It’s cramped as we sit across from each other. I blush each time our knees brush in the tight space.
“You make a doctor’s appointment yet?” he asks when the wheel starts to move.
I sigh playfully. “This was your plan, huh? Get me hundreds of feet in the air, so I can’t bail when you ask me complicated questions?”
He holds his hand up, a smile cracking at his lips. It’s not as real as the one he gave me at the beginning of the night, but it’s better than the artificial one earlier. “Convenient timing, I swear.” He pauses, the smile still flickering at his lips. “Subconscious smart move on my part, considering your history of being a runner.”
His jeans rub against my bare leg when I situate myself on the metal seat. Like my flats, shorts weren’t the best fashion choice.
“Awkward conversations aren’t a favorite pastime of mine,” I mutter.
“You mean, making adult decisions aren’t?”
“I’m twenty-six.” I mentally slap myself. That’s my argument?
“Last time I checked, twenty-six was an adult.”
“I mean, I don’t have much experience in making adult decisions that don’t only impact my life.”
When I graduated from high school, I moved to LA for college and have lived my life without answering to anyone. I travel regularly for my job and don’t have to worry about anyone other than my boss controlling what I do. My personal decisions have never impacted anyone else’s life before.
“You’d better get over that shit fast. We’re about to be making some big decisions together,” he says.
My chest feels tight. I haven’t come to terms with having a long-term relationship with Dallas, and I don’t feel like diving into the reality of it now. “I haven’t made a doctor’s appointment yet. I have no idea where to go, but I’d prefer an office not close, considering the town doctor probably delivered you.” And Maven.
“That’s true.”
I throw my arms out. “Exactly!” Does it make me a sucky person that I don’t want the same doctor Lucy had? God, I sound like a jealous brat.
“Dr. Riley’s son recently graduated from med school and moved back to work at the practice. He said he’d see us on the low until you’re ready to tell people.”
On the low? Like I’m going to be pushing a royal baby out of me?
“You’re positive he won’t tell anyone?” I ask.
“Positive. I have plenty of dirt to easily blackmail him.”
“Good. Blackmail away. I’d rather not have any more attention brought to us.”
He chuckles and leans forward to scan the crowd below. “I take it, I wasn’t the only one noticing all the prying eyes?”
“Sure weren’t.”
“Ignore them. Something new will come up, and they’ll forget about us.”