“Doubt it. You’re like the bachelor of Blue Beech, and I’m sure they want you to give a rose to a local girl.”
“Other people don’t decide whom I spend my time with.”
They might not decide, but that doesn’t mean they won’t talk shit about it.
I point to my stomach. “In other news, I need to find more creative ways to hide this. I’m showing more, and I don’t want people to find out.”
“We’re having a baby, Willow. It’s eventually going to come out. You’re struggling with the reality of it, and that’s why I’m holding back on saying anything, but you’d better come to grips with it soon. I need to tell my daughter and parents before you go into labor.”
Dallas isn’t a bullshitter.
He shoots it to you straight. Been that way for as long as I’ve known him, which is something I’m not used to. The guys I date tend to be liars who whisper sweet nothings into your ear and then do the opposite. I’ve never had a guy … a man like Dallas.
He clears his throat. “And, since I have you hostage, I’d better ask the question that’s been bugging me.”
Oh God. What now?
“Tell me the truth. Why did you hide this from me?”
I look around. How long does it take for us to get back to the ground?
“Willow,” he says, practically growling my name. “Give me a clear answer, not something half-assed. I want real. The truth.”
I lean in and take a deep breath. Here goes. He wants it. I’ll give it. He’s not going to like it.
“I remember every second of our night together.” My pulse races like a freight train is about to hit me. “You made me feel special, like I could have someone other than a cheating scumbag. You made me feel alive.” Am I really going to do this? I want to sound strong, but my voice cracks. “At least temporarily.” I stop to inhale another breath, chickening out.
“What happened that makes you question our night wasn’t special?”
His gaze is fixed on me, intense, and he settles his elbow on his knee. His free hand rests on my thigh.
“You called me her.”
I thought I had his attention before, but my admission kicked it into overdrive.
His head jerks to the side. “What?”
“You called me her … Lucy.” Tears bite at my eyes, breaking the hold I’ve been trying to keep. There. I said it. I gave him the truth.
His face contorts with a mix of pain and disbelief. “What? No way. You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
I regret it every day. Regret not slapping him in the face or screaming when it happened, but I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t blame him because my intention of having sex with him was the same—to forget the person I longed for. I wanted to erase Brett. He tried to erase Lucy.
He scrubs his hand over his face. I’ve spent the last decade reading a man who lied for years, and Dallas isn’t lying about not remembering.
He scoots in closer to clasp my chin in his hand. “Fuck, Willow. I’m sorry. No wonder you hate my fucking guts and can barely stand to look at me. I’m sorry. God, I’m an asshole.”
He runs his hand over my cheek while apologizing repeatedly. I draw in the trace of cotton candy and cinnamon on his breath.
The end of our ride is getting closer, and I wish I had a panic button to freeze us in place.
“You’re the only woman I’ve kissed other than Lucy,” he says, his lips inches from mine. “The only woman I’ve touched. The only woman I’ve ever had in my bed.”
I relax into his touch, into his words. Should this admission turn me on? Should it make me want to straddle him and get a public indecency arrest?
“And it’s not for lack of trying,” he goes on. “This will make me sound like an arrogant jerk, but I’ve had women knocking on my door daily, but I’ve never given them a second look. Replacing Lucy with a quick fuck wasn’t my intention. I could’ve done that with anyone. I might’ve said her name, but I swear to you, I knew who I was inside of, and it wasn’t her.”
I breathe heavily and take in the callous palm roaming over my cheek.
“We were both missing other people that night. We can agree on that.”
I nod at the truth. “What do you want from me?” I whisper, my lips nearly hitting his.
“I want you to move here permanently. I want you to raise our baby here. I don’t want you to leave.”
His eyes soften, and I dart my tongue over my lips without even realizing it.
God, the desperation of wanting to kiss him, of wanting to screw him, of wanting his touch anywhere on my body is all I’m feeling right now.
“What do you want from me, Willow?”
To wrap my hand around your cock again. To feel you inside me one last time. To love me like you loved her.
“I … I don’t know,” I answer breathlessly. I can’t concentrate on anything but us.
He takes in a sharp breath. “Why can’t I stop thinking about you?”
I make my move, unable to stop myself, and crash my lips against his. He tastes more like cotton candy than he smells. He groans while moving his hand from my face to the back of my neck, diving into my hair and drawing me in closer, opening his mouth so that our tongues meet.
His mouth is soft and forbidden. Him only kissing me is going to send me over the edge. He scoots in closer to use his knee to separate my legs more and slides his hand up my thigh, stopping where my shorts end.
“What are you doing to me?” he mutters, taking me deeper into his mouth and inching his hand underneath the fabric, his fingers spreading apart.
I moan and tilt my hips up, permitting him to keep going. His fingers crawl to my middle, right over my panties, and he rubs his thumb across it.
“Fuck,” he groans. “You’re soaked.”
I close my eyes as he moves my panties to the side.
“Okay, who’s next in line?” the operator yells.
Dallas’s hand disappears in seconds, and his back hits the seat, his breathing labored. “Fuck. I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened.”
I straighten my shorts, rub my hands over my hair to fix it, and curl my arms around my stomach. No doubt I would smack him in the face if we weren’t in a public place.
“You’re right. It won’t happen again,” I whisper.
The operator winks at us when the car stops, and we get out.
“It happens all the time, man,” he says, smirking. “Figured you wouldn’t want to keep up your show in front of everyone.”
Oh, hell. He saw us.
I stumble forward, my legs feeling weak, and Dallas rests his hand on the small of my back to stabilize me. We’re back to silence, like he didn’t have his hand in my shorts only minutes ago, like he wasn’t about to get me off in a Ferris wheel car. He guides us straight to Stella, who’s waiting on Hudson and Maven to finish up a ride.
Our conversation ends.
Our connection ends.
My hope for him ever touching me again ends.
I can’t get attached. I can’t let Dallas Barnes in again.
In my head. In my vagina. In my heart.
Chapter Fourteen