I never told anyone about that, though. I didn't think my parents would have liked that very much, for some reason I didn't really comprehend.
“Do you think I'm a good guy, Alyssa?” he whispered.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “You're one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.”
He smiled at me, showcasing his perfectly straight and white teeth.
“You wouldn't ever want to see me behind bars, right?”
My hand flew to my face. “Never. That would kill me.”
“Then you can't ever tell anyone about what your father and I did, okay?”
I bit my lip and looked down. “I won't say anything. Ever. I promise.”
He tilted my chin up to look at him. “And you'll tell everyone that it was those two gang members who killed your dad, right?”
I shook my head. “No. Because it wasn't them. DeLuca deserves to pay for what he did.”
His nostrils flared and he grunted. “If you say it was DeLuca- do you know what will happen, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. He'll go to jail for a very long time. Maybe even forever.”
He grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. “No, he won't. He knows you saw him, Alyssa. And he'll come after you. Along with me, and your mother. And he won't stop until we're all dead.” One hand wrapped around the back of my neck. “He'll bash my skull in and spread my brains all over the concrete.”
He lowered his voice and whispered in my ear, “And then he'll do it to your mom. And he'll make you watch every single second of it before he does it to you. Just like with your dad.”
I couldn't stop myself from dry heaving with those words. Ford reached for a garbage pail and held it out in front of me while he stroked my hair.
After a few moments, my stomach settled and I was able to breathe again. “But that would make me a l-liar. Being a liar is bad. Those two boys were innocent.”
He sat on the chair in front of the table I was still sitting on and put my feet on top of his thighs. “I know your mom reads to you a lot. What's your favorite fairy tale?”
I was put off by the change of subject, but I answered anyway. “Beauty and the Beast.”
He smiled and tilted his head toward me. “Do you think the beast was bad?”
“No. I mean, at first, maybe. But he changed his ways for Belle.”
“And the beast rescued Belle in the end, right?”
“Well, yes...and no. It's complicated, Ford. The beast loved her and Belle loved him. Despite how mean he was in the beginning. She saw past all that.”
He lifted my hand to his lips. “Can you see past the wrong I've done?”
I didn't understand what he meant by that. “Of course. I already told you, you're not a bad guy. You're my favorite person.”
“I was only trying to put the bad guy away,” he whispered.
“I know. I'm not mad at you.”
“Will you let me rescue you then?” His thumb grazed my cheek. “Will you let me be your Prince, Alyssa?”
My cheeks flushed and a swarm of butterflies entered my tummy. “I-um.” My breathing became shaky. “I'm feeling nervous and weird right now and I don't understand why,” I blurted out.
“You never have to be nervous around me. I would do anything in the world for you. You trust me, right?”
“Yeah-yes.”
“I would never, ever hurt you.”
“I know.”
“Who killed your father?”
“You already know.”
The pad of his thumb brushed my cheek again and he moved closer. “Who killed your father, Alyssa?”
I stayed silent.
“Better, sweetheart.” He planted a kiss on my cheek and I blushed. “Now I'll ask you again. Who did it? Who killed your father?”
He kissed my other cheek right before I answered, “They did. Those...boys. My father tried to stop the fight between them and they attacked him before they shot each other.”
He let out a deep breath. “I'm so proud of you.”
He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Thank you for letting me rescue and protect you.”
“And that's my story, Jackson. You know things that I've never told another soul.”
His brows furrow. “Do you still talk to your dad's old partner?”
“Out of everything I just told you, that's what you're choosing to focus on?”
I get up off the bed. “Ford protected me from my father's killer.”
He runs a hand through his short hair. “Yeah, I know. I get it,” he says before mumbling something under his breath that I don't catch. He appears lost in thought before asking, “Is that why you were grilling me about the owner of the fight club? You thought it was this DeLuca guy, didn't you?”
I nod and he stands up. “It's not by the way. He's not the owner. But you realize how dangerous it would be for you if it was, right?”
“Yeah.” I stare at him. “I mean, no. If DeLuca wanted me, he would have gotten me by now. Trust me, after the sex tape my identity isn't exactly an issue anymore. Everyone knows who I am now. Besides, the media went with the story about two rival gangs killing a cop. No one knows the truth besides Ford and I...and now you.”
“You never answered my question.”
“What question?”
“Do you still talk to him?”
“No,” I lie.
I might have told Jackson things I've never told another person. But there's no way I can tell him about the exact nature of me and Ford's relationship throughout the years.
Or the moment, or rather, moments; it changed.
And the way it broke me.
Chapter Eleven
Alyssa
PAST
After that day in the interrogation room, Ford remained an integral part of my childhood.
He came around every other weekend and whisked me away for a few hours during another one of my mother's drunken binges.
He tried persuading her to go to rehab, so many times I lost count; but as usual, she insisted that she didn't have a problem and that if he wanted to continue spending time with me he needed to mind his own business.
He attended every recital, every sporting event, and even a few parent- teacher conferences.
At least, he did until I turned 15.
After that, he seldom came around and I didn't understand why.
One time, he mumbled something about it no longer being appropriate for us to spend so much time with one another, and I thought my heart was going to shatter into a million pieces.
Before he drove away from my tear stained face that day, he promised me that he would always be in my life.
I hated that he was purposely distancing himself from me, but to his credit, he did text me a few times a week. And he still made it a point to see me in person during the two days leading up to my birthday.
Those were always the hardest for me for obvious reasons.
I'll never forget the night of my 17th birthday.
I had gotten into another horrible fight with my mother and John. One of the worst ones to date. I found out that he officially moved in with us.