After hours of persuading and guilting Ford into coming to see me, he finally relented.
He pulled up in a shiny new BMW. The color matching his dark blue eyes perfectly.
I let out a whistle when I saw it and those perfect teeth of his flashed me a movie star grin. "You like?"
"I do. It's gorgeous."
He opened the driver side door and threw the keys at me. "Let's go. You drive."
I stared at him, too stunned to speak. "What's with the look? You are 17 now." He winked. "I trust you not to crash my baby. Now get over here."
I bit my lip and walked over to his side of the car.
He got out and stood before me, his large frame towering over me. His eyes briefly scanned over my body before he looked away. "Jesus, what the hell are they putting in the milk these days," he muttered.
"What are you talking about?"
He coughed before looking at me again. "It's just...you look so grown up compared to when I last saw you. I can't believe your mother lets you out of the house looking like that."
I smoothed over the micro denim mini skirt that I wore especially for him.
I didn't usually wear suggestive clothing, but I wanted to look different.
I wanted Ford to see me as a woman, instead of some silly teenager. "Looking like what, Ford? It's been an entire year since I last saw you, of course, I grew up."
His gaze lingered over my legs. "Yeah, I guess you did."
He walked over to the passenger side door. "You gonna be able to drive in those heels, killer?"
I smirked. "I'll manage."
Since I was the driver, and the destination was my choice—I knew exactly where I wanted to take him.
"Out of all the places to go to. You chose this place. On your birthday."
The stars lit up the night time sky and the sound of water crashing against the docks hovered in the distance as I parked the car.
I chewed on my thumbnail. "I haven't been back here since it happened. And there's no one in the world I trust to come here with but you."
"I haven't been here since that day either," he confessed.
I leaned against the headrest and pushed my seat back. "Do you think he would be proud of me?"
Ford reached for my hand. "Of course, he would. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Sometimes I think he would be mad that I didn't stop my mother from turning into an alcoholic. That I should have prevented it."
Before Ford could interject I added, "Sometimes I think he blames me for causing his death. All because I pulled that stupid stunt. God, I was such a brat. What the hell was I thinking?"
His fingers linked with mine. "You were a child, Alyssa. It wasn't your fault and he would never blame you. He loved you."
I squeezed my eyes shut and tuned out his words. "She still cries over him. Usually, it's after John has gone to bed and she thinks no one can hear her. But I can. I always can. Hell, sometimes I cry with her."
"Sweetheart—" he started.
I cleared my throat and opened my eyes. "So, anyway. What's new with you?"
He drew back his hand and ran it along his jaw. "Well, I met someone."
"Oh?" I said, hoping my true feelings over his statement wouldn't show.
It felt like he tossed my heart in a blender and pressed 'puree.' Twice.
"Yeah. She's a doll, too. She's a nurse in the ER over at Columbia."
I gritted my teeth. "A nurse, how sweet."
Obviously not picking up on my sarcasm, he continued, "Yeah. She is. Better than the last relationship I had. What a disaster that was. I'm thinking it's time for this old dog to settle down. Make an honest woman out of someone."
"You're not old," I muttered. He laughed. "I'm 35. That's like ancient to most teenagers."
I played with a strand of my hair. "I'm not like most teenagers, Ford."
He stared at me for a beat and swallowed. "No. No, you're not. You've been through more shit than most adults have in an entire lifetime."
"So what's this nurse's name?" I interrupted.
"Penelope."
"That's a stupid name," I said through clenched teeth.
In all honesty, it wouldn't have mattered what her name was, I still would have hated it.
He chuckled. "It's a bit of a mouthful, I suppose."
I glared at him. "Does she put out?"
He looked taken back. "I don't think that's any of your business. You don't hear me asking if you've given it up to Tony, now do you?"
I spun around in my seat. "His name's Toby." I crossed my arms. "And for your information- No, I haven't given it up yet. I want it to be special."
He nodded, relief flashing across his face. "That's good. It should be special—" he started to say before I cut him off.
"But I've given him one hell of a blowjob."
"Christ, Alyssa. What the hell is the matter with you?"
"You!" I shouted. "You left me, Ford. I needed you and you weren't there. You were all I had to depend on after mom went off the deep end. You were the only good thing I had left. Especially after John entered our lives."
He sat up straight. "Has that prick touched you? I swear to God, I'll kill him."
I rolled my eyes. "No. I just don't trust him is all. He's not a good guy. Especially now that he's living with us and controlling mom's every move."
"Shit, she let him move in? You know you can tell me if he steps out of line with you or your mother. Right?"
"Yeah."
We stayed silent for what felt like hours before I finally gathered enough strength to ask him. "Why did you leave me? Why did you go away?"
"I told you. Our relationship wasn't appropriate. People were going to talk and assume things about us, about me."
I slammed the steering wheel with my hand. "So let them. Who the fuck cares what other people say."
"It's not that simple, Alyssa."
"I don't buy it. We weren't doing anything wrong. And I don't think people would say shit if they knew the way you saved me. If they knew the way you stepped in when no one else did."
He stayed silent, but I continued probing. "What's the real reason, Ford? You've always been honest with me."
He looked down, avoiding my gaze. "I already told you. It wasn't appropriate."
I smacked the steering wheel again. "Bullshit."
"Would you quit doing that!" he shouted. "You're gonna hurt yourself."
"Stop avoiding my question, Ford."
"I already answered the goddamned question," he ground out.
I slammed the steering wheel again, harder this time.
"Stop it!"
"Make me."
He grabbed my wrists. "Stop acting like a child."
"Stop treating me like one then. And tell me the truth!"
"How many times do I have to say it? It wasn't appropriate, Alyssa."
I struggled against him. "Why? You never did anything wrong. So what exactly was it about our relationship that wasn't appropriate?"