Only, I was going to see to it that she wouldn't be punishing herself. That this would be different. It felt like I was fighting against something that was even stronger than me...but I saw the moment the real Alyssa peeked through.
I let her take the control from me...let myself get lost in her, which is something I never, ever do. Not that I really had much of a choice in the matter because the things she did to me?
Well, fuck.
Porn stars could learn a thing or several from her.
Then she looked up at me and gave me a smile that chilled me to the bone. My favorite dimple was nowhere in sight.
I told her the truth about watching the video...I didn't lie. But she never let me explain myself because she took off.
Worst of all? She didn't let me tell her how brave and strong I thought she was for making it through something like that. She didn't let me tell her that I was falling for her. I knew I was a goner the second my lips touched hers in that club.
I want to chase after her, but I know she needs time to cool off. I know that when I push her too far, she doesn't come bouncing back harder and stronger like I wish she would.
We might be similar in some ways, but unlike me, my girl's not a fighter...she's a runner. And even though I hate that...I'll accept it because it's who she is and I want all of her.
I hear a knock on the door and I can't get there fast enough.
I'm disappointed when it's Ricardo staring back at me. Not that I'm not thankful for his help.
Although, I still don't know why he was there in the first place.
I open the door, gesture for him to come inside and cut to the chase. “Why were you there?”
He looks at me hard and I know I'm not going to like what he's going to say. “No offense, but your girl was dressed to kill tonight. Even I couldn't ignore how hot she looked. That being said, I already told you I was concerned about what would happen on the outside. I was going to tell you not to go. I didn't have a good feeling about it.” He shrugs. “But then she mentioned that it was her birthday and I saw how excited she was. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she must not get out much because of the video. My bad feelings were confirmed, though after you beat the mayor's son to a bloody pulp. ”
Fuck, DeLuca was not going to be happy about this. Not one bit.
Ricardo must notice my expression because he says, “Don't worry, I took care of everything.”
“How?”
“I had a few of DeLuca's men waiting on deck, just in case something happened. Plus, I was in the wings myself. I wish I got to you sooner, but I didn't see you go into the bathroom. I thought you left because I saw you both head out for the exit. I stayed back chatting it up with some hot redhead. Then I heard the commotion.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “You fucked him up bad, Jackson. He's got some serious damage. On the bright side, he was so zonked out of his mind he doesn't remember shit before or after. He had no idea he was talking to Alyssa in the bathroom or that he got into a fight.”
He smirks. “I had Freddie wreck his car and stage it like he got into an accident because he was too stoned. I also issued him a warning. Not only did I tell him that you were in DeLuca's circle and ran with him. I mentioned that if his memory about tonight were to ever come back, he and his car would be found at the bottom of the Atlantic.”
Part of me wishes that the bastard does end up remembering now. It's what he deserves.
“Thanks. I owe you.” I pause. “But what about DeLuca's men? What if they say something to him?”
I want to tell him that what I'm really worried about is someone mentioning Alyssa being there with me. But, as much as we're friends—I can't.
I'm in a bind because I don't want to reveal Alyssa's past. Partly because it's not my place and partly because I really don't know how strong Ricardo's loyalty is to DeLuca. For all I know, he could spill the beans to DeLuca himself.
He jerks a shoulder up. “They won't. They owe me a few favors. But, if DeLuca finds out, I'll handle it. I don't really see him flipping out over some stupid bar fight, anyway. He's got much bigger shit to worry about. It's not like you ended up in jail or on the news.”
His words should comfort me but they do the exact opposite. My memory kicks in and I remember that people had their phones out recording the fight.
“Shit. What about the cell phones? It was the mayor's son. You know someone will be more than willing to sell the footage to tmz or post it online.”
“Took care of that too,” he says.
I vaguely remember him breaking a few cell phones. “What if you missed one? Then what?”
He considers this for a moment. “Then we take care of it.”
He looks around. “So where is Alyssa?”
I briefly tell him how I fucked up. I leave out the part about her giving me a blowjob...but not about me watching the video.
“Fucking Lou-Lou,” he growls. “She doesn't know when enough is enough. Always causing problems.”
I don't miss the intensity in his eyes when he says that.
“Yeah, but it was still me who watched it. I have no idea how the hell to fix this.”
“Maybe it's best to just leave it alone and let it perish. Some things are better that way.”
Something tells me that it's not me and Alyssa he's talking about when he utters that statement.
I shake my head. “No. She's special. I can't let it end like this.”
He stands up. “Then do what you do best.” When I give him a weird look he says, “Fight for her, dummy.”
He's right.
I've already tried texting her multiple times, though. I told her how sorry I was and explained what really happened with the sex tape.
I also told her that my feelings for her never changed after watching it. Nor have they changed after tonight...after I saw the other side of her. I told her that if she was willing, we would get through it together because I wasn't giving up on her or us.
Then I told her that I was falling for her.
She still hasn't responded.
I scan the living room and notice that in her rush to leave, she left her purse here.
Maybe that's why she never responded to any of my texts.
I pick it up and can feel her phone vibrating through the material.
That's when I realize what an idiot I am. I shouldn't be telling Alyssa those things via text. I should be saying them to her in person. Fighting for her like Ricardo said.
I turn around and face him. “I need another favor.”
“What's up?”
“Can I borrow your car?”
After promising Ricardo over and over again that I wouldn't crash his prized Mustang. He handed over the keys.
I got Alyssa's address off her license and plugged it into the gps on my phone. The drive wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
Her neighborhood is quiet and the houses that line the streets are all large and upscale.
The lawns are green and the streetlights are all in working order. There's no sign of drug dealers or garbage littering the sidewalks.
It's the perfect suburb life. So different from the environment I grew up in.
I decide to park right behind her car in the driveway. I notice another car parked there as well...but from the looks of things, her house is so big, maybe she has a tenant or two living there.