“Only one when it comes to me. Don’t forget that you’re the one who started this. You’re the one who came back to the bar. You’re the one who came to my house after you ended it. I don’t like being played with.”
“Funny, because you sure do like being the one doing the playing.”
My comment rewards me with a charming smirk on his lips.
“With you?” he questions as he stalks toward me and grips my chin between his fingers. “Always.”
My eyes close as he plants a kiss on my lips. Mine mold to his and my body melts. It’s over too soon and I find myself sitting up a little taller to prolong it just slightly.
Daniel keeps his grip on me and a crease forms on his forehead as he looks down at me with a question in his eyes.
“Are you thinking of leaving me?” he finally asks and I reach up to take his hand in mine.
“No,” I tell him, practically rolling my eyes and getting more comfortable in the corner of my sofa.
“Good,” he says although he still eyes me curiously.
“If I hadn’t come to your place, would you have let me leave you?” I don’t know why I feel so compelled to ask in this moment. Maybe I already know the truth and I just want to see if he’ll tell me or not.
His dark eyes seem to get darker, although his voice stays even as he answers me, “I would have tried.”
I chew the inside of my cheek and look away at his response.
“Why does that disappoint you?”
“Can’t you feel it?” I barely whisper the words. He makes me feel weak and foolish. But admitting there’s something undeniable that pulls you to someone like it does no one else isn’t weak at all. It takes every bit of strength in me.
Daniel’s eyes leave mine for a moment and I begin to doubt myself. I can barely swallow until he says, “I said I would try. I didn’t say I was capable.”
My eyes close and I wish I could will all of this overwhelming emotion away. But that’s what Daniel’s always done to me. Overwhelmed me.
“I’ll keep you safe. Always.”
My heart soars and plummets with his words. That’s how it feels and the relief on my lips falls with it.
“I just know … your job … is dangerous.” I hate how my throat feels tight as I speak. “I knew what I was getting into. It’s different when you wait at home alone wondering …”
“But I’m a dangerous man, Addison. I know what I’m doing.”
I search his dark eyes for reassurance and it’s there, but still I can’t help adding, “Don’t die. Everyone I love dies.”
“What if it’s more like anyone who loves you dies?” he questions and it doesn’t help me feel any better at all. He shrugs and points out, “Then I’m dying anyway, so you might as well love me back.”
Although I realize the words were spoken in a lighthearted way, the acknowledgement is there. That there’s something more between us and we both feel it. We both recognize it for what it is. I don’t dare to speak it again. I’m too caught up in those flutters in my chest. The ones that hurt in the best of ways. My eyes start to gloss over and I shove all the emotion away.
“Just be safe, my dangerous sex god.” My voice is playful and nonchalant as I reach for the remote, ending the conversation. It’s too much, too soon. But it feels like everything that’s always been missing. It feels right. It feels like home. And I’m so afraid to lose it.
Daniel chuckles and leans down to cup my cheek and plant a soft kiss in my hair. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he whispers and it tickles me enough to make me pull away and snatch a kiss from his lips myself.
It’s only been weeks, but this is everything I’ve ever wished for.
As the door clicks shut, leaving me alone in my apartment, I remember a certain saying.
Be careful what you wish for.
Chapter Twenty
Daniel
FIVE YEARS AGO
I knew something was off when I walked in at 4 a.m. and the dining room light was on. The yellow glow carries into the kitchen and I follow it to see Tyler at the end of the large table, head in his hand staring at the screen to his laptop.
I expect to hear something, maybe see him watching a video. But the screen has gone black and that’s when I see his expression. Defeated and exhausted.
“You still up?” I ask him, which is a stupid question. It gets his attention though, although his exhaustion makes him blink several times before he can answer me. It’s then that I see his eyes are puffy, not with sleep, but with something else.
“Yeah, couldn’t sleep,” he answers and then visibly swallows as he closes the laptop.
My jacket rustles as I slip it off and hang it over the chair in front of me. I still feel like an asshole for snapping at him the other day. Of everyone living under this roof, Tyler’s the last person who needs my shit. “Everything alright?”
He sits back and lets out a heavy breath, but instead of answering verbally, he only shakes his head no.
“You want to talk about it?” I ask as I grip the back of the chair and prepare myself for the answer I know is coming. Addison isn’t here and Tyler can’t sleep. She left him.
“You were right,” Tyler says and then turns away from me.
“I was an asshole who was trying to be an asshole. I’m never right. You know that?”
He lets out a huff of a laugh and wipes under his eyes.
“What happened?” I ask him.
“She said it’s too much for her. That she needs space.”
I nod my head in understanding. “Nothing wrong with a little space,” I say and try to make it sound like it’s not a big deal.
“I know her, Daniel. I know it’s her way of putting distance between us so I’ll be the one to leave.”
The legs of the chair scratch along the floor as I pull it out and take a seat. A heavy breath leaves me as I put my elbows on the table and lean closer to him. “Girls are hormonal,” I say to try to make him crack a smile. He’s the one who’s good at this, not me.
“I think she’s done with me, but I don’t know why.”
“She loves you,” I tell Tyler although it makes a spike of pain go through my heart. She does love him. I know it by the way she kisses him. It’s obvious she does.
“I don’t know,” he says in a whisper, shaking his head.
“Just give her a day or two, cut class if you have to. Give her time to miss you.” I hate that I’m giving him this advice. But I hate to see him like this more.
“What did Mom used to say, huh? If you give someone love, they’ll love you back. Right?”
He nods his head, although he still doesn’t speak. It’s been a while since I brought up Mom. And it still doesn’t feel right, but Tyler was her baby boy. He may have been younger when she got sick, but it hit him hard. He didn’t understand.
“I promise you,” I tell him as I pat his back. “Come with me for the next two days. I have to make a trip to Philly for a shipment. Come up with me and let her miss you.”