He’s reluctant for a moment but then he nods. “I could use the distraction, I guess.”
“Perfect.” I stand up quickly and leave him be as fast as I can. “Get some sleep,” I say over my shoulder and I don’t stop walking or respond when he tells me thanks.
As I climb the stairs to go pass out, loneliness settles in my chest.
The idea of Addison never coming back hits me hard. The possibility of never seeing her again.
It’s very obvious to me in this moment that I don’t like it.
More than I don’t like how she’s younger than me.
More than I don’t like how she looks at me the way I look at her when I know she’s not looking.
More than I don’t like that she’s Tyler’s.
Every day there’s a memory I’ve forgotten. Haunting me. Showing me how I could have stopped the inevitable. Or at least changed our fates.
Late at night, holding Addison as she sleeps, I wonder if Tyler would still be alive if I had done something different. Or if I’d be the one buried in the ground now.
Fall has arrived and each step I take down Rodney Street is accompanied with the crunch of dead and withered leaves. My steps are heavy tonight because I know Marcus is going to be here.
He’s finally come with whatever it is Carter’s been waiting for. I know Marcus’ patterns. He spends weeks scouting out a place and making sure you go to one location he has constant eyes on. And when he’s found where he’s comfortable, he delivers.
He’s found that place at the park on the corner of Rodney and Seventh.
After tonight I have no reason to stay here. Addison will either come with me, or leave me. It’s too good right now to think she’ll refuse me, but she’s run before and it’s entirely possible she’ll do it again.
I glance down the side street to see what block I’m on and my heart freezes.
The man in the black leather jacket, the one who stopped to look at Addison. That first day I watched her in the coffee shop and saw him staring at her. It’s him. I swear I saw him melt into the shadows down the street.
“Hey!” I call out, more to see if he’ll move than to actually get a reaction. But there’s only silence. I barely glance to my right to check for cars as I run across the street. The cool air does nothing to calm my heated skin or the anxiety rushing through my blood.
I’m ready for a fight when I get there, but the shadowy corner is only a dead end. And no one’s there.
A chill flows over my skin and I look all around me. It’s no one. There’s no one here.
It’s hard to swallow as I walk back across the street. It’s just paranoia, I tell myself. It’s nothing. But still, all of my thoughts lead back to Addison. To her being alone.
She’s messing with my head.
I think about every way she’s consumed me with each step I take.
I can’t see anything other than her when she’s around me.
Every breath she takes depletes the air from my lungs.
I hated her for it back then, back when she was with Tyler. When she smiled at him instead of me. She tempted me, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
But time changes everything.
Every step she takes closer to me makes my fingers itch to grab on to her and never let go.
Fate simply waits for men like me. So it can fuck us over until we fall to our knees and admit there isn’t a damn good thing about us.
Addison has no idea what she does to me.
She’ll be the death of all that’s good in me. I would lose focus of everything just to have a miniscule piece of her attention. I’d steal for her. I’d kill for her. I already have.
Goosebumps still cover my body as I get to the empty park. It’s in the back of a small church that’s surrounded by woods. I guess for Sunday school.
My gaze scans the perimeter of the park, but there’s no one there. It’s empty.
Marcus is never late. I check my watch and make sure I’m on time.
A minute passes as I walk toward the church and then back. It’s not a good look to loiter and I don’t need anyone getting suspicious.
Another minute and my anger and anxiety start to get the best of me.
A flash of white catches my eye as the breeze goes by; the squeaks of the swing’s rusty chains make me turn toward them.
A note. I walk toward it without hesitation. Marcus and his fucking games.
There’s a message on the swing.
Another address.
Tomorrow night. Check the mailbox. That’s all you’ll need.
Gritting my teeth, I hold back the urge to scream out toward the forest in anger. I know that fucker’s in there watching. Making sure I got the memo.
The paper crumples in my hand as I stare out into the forest and wonder why he didn’t meet in person.
Marcus always meets me in person. I’ve heard tales of him not showing and only leaving notes. Everything is fucked after. Marcus doesn’t like to meet with you if he knows you’re about to be fucked over.
A chill runs down my spine.
The only guess I have is that it has something to do with Addison. She’s the only thing that’s changed.
He knows everything. He knows about what happened the night Tyler died. He knows about my obsession. And he knows she’s back.
My eyes flicker to the woods, searching him out but coming up with nothing. Every small sound of a branch breaking or the wind rustling the leaves reminds me of that night, the images flashing in front of me.
The night that Tyler died.
I’d just finished a meet with Marcus. It was an easy transaction for a hit we needed. He seems to like those better than being a messenger. He responds faster.
He knows that on my way home, I saw Addison in the diner.
I saw him across the street watching me after I’d sent the message to Tyler. She was in pain and I knew Tyler could take it away.
Marcus followed me as I followed Addison. I couldn’t leave her, knowing Marcus saw me watching her. I didn’t trust him. So I followed her from place to place. The diner, the bookstore and finally the corner store. And Marcus was there, every step of the way. I told myself it was only to satisfy his sick curiosity.
And worse than anything, Marcus was there; he was the closest when Tyler died right in front of us.
Marcus knows everything and he’s not coming to see me in person. That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Deep breaths come and go.
This doesn’t have anything to do with her. It’s about Carter. It has to be about Carter and not about the shit Marcus knows about Addison.
Part of me questions if I should confess to her and tell her the truth before someone else does. She blamed herself for so long and I know she did. But I’m the one who sent Tyler after her.
He knew where she was because of me.
He went to see her because I told him he should.
It’s all my fault. It was never hers.
Chapter Twenty-One
Addison
It’s been strange.
My fingers hover over the keys and I delete my last words. I don’t know how to tell Rae what’s going on. I shift on my sofa, feeling uneasy. This whole day has felt different. Daniel hasn’t touched me since yesterday morning. And things have been off since he got back from his meeting. It’s also when the word “love” was said. Maybe he didn’t realize he’d said it until after he left.