“Aw, that’s cute,” I say.
“There’s nothing cute about it,” Cluck Norris caws out. “Why are all these lovely ladies cramped in those tiny quarters? There are so many of them, they’re practically forced to hop over one another in an effort to stand.”
“It’s just a temporary display,” I tell him.
Here’s hoping.
“Darn tootin’!” he yodels, doing his best impersonation of Carlotta.
He floats up and appears to be whispering something into her ear.
A canoodling rooster? I can’t say I like this at all.
Carlotta purses her lips my way a moment. “Look, Lot!” She points hard in the opposite direction. “A booth that sells cheesy jalapeño cornbread, and there’s no line!”
“Where?” I shout in a panic, dragging both Noah and Everett with me in that direction.
We don’t get ten steps before the crowd around us enlivens with cheers and screams, and before we know it, the ground is covered with chickens of every size and color. A flotilla of fowl are running loose, trying their level best to fly, and squawking up a storm—heck, it sounds as if they’re downright screaming—but then, the crowd is doing a lot of that, too.
“Carlotta!” I shout as I turn around, only to find her doing that bowlegged waddle in my direction.
“Don’t just stand there, Lot—run for it!”
Carlotta leads the charge, and it seems the entire right side of the fairgrounds is chasing after her, as they should be. But they’re not. They’ve somehow mistaken Carlotta as their leader. And to make matters worse, more than a dozen of those people make themselves at home in the line for cheesy jalapeño cornbread muffins.
“I’ll never get a cornbread muffin now,” I grunt.
“Maybe not,” Noah says. “But you’ll get a suspect.” He points in the distance where a film crew looks to be set up. Just past them there’s a long table with about six to eight people seated at it and a few empty seats yet to fill and strung up over their heads is a banner that reads The Great Chili Pepper Challenge.
We head that way, and about halfway there we’re met with Evie as she runs over to us.
“You guys!” Her eyes are wide with excitement, and she can’t seem to stop hopping up and down. “Conner and Kyle are both participating in the competition! The guy who’s organizing it said only real men and women need apply.”
Carlotta looks back at us. “Well, Foxy and Sexy? Which one of you is a real man?”
“Me,” someone shouts from behind, and we turn to find that Mayor Nash has finally made it. He’s still in his dark suit. That jovial smile that never leaves his face seems ten times wider. “Well? Lead the way, Evie. I’ve got a pepper eating competition to win.”
“I don’t know.” Carlotta gives him a wavering look. “Tonight’s five-way restraints night. I don’t know if I want to go risking some risqué fun just to prove you’re a man.”
“I’m such a man I can eat my way through a pound of the hottest peppers in the world and get hogtied with the best of them.”
“I’m a man, too.” Noah winks my way as his dimples go off. “I’m in.”
“Noah.” I wince. “These people are going to suffer for entertainment purposes.”
“Not true,” Evie is quick to correct while linking arms with Everett and skipping alongside of him. “Winner gets one hundred dollars’ worth of spicy jams and jellies, a basket of cheesy jalapeño cornbread muffins, and bragging rights as the World Chili Pepper Champion.”
“World?” Mayor Nash’s eyes light up at the thought of worldwide fame.
“An entire basket of cheesy jalapeño cornbread muffins?” My own eyes light up ten times their size.
Noah glides an arm around my waist. “Those muffins are as good as yours, Lottie.”
“They are,” Everett says, gliding his arm around my waist and evicting Noah by proxy. “And I’m going to win them for you. Don’t worry, Lemon. It’s nothing but a little safe and sane fun.”
“Whoa.” I pull him back a notch. “Everett, you have to be in court tomorrow. It could last all day. The last thing you need is an upset stomach.”
“I’ve got a stomach made of steel, Lemon. I lived with Noah as a teenager. If I can handle his sock mountain display, I can handle a little intestinal irritant.”
Evie nods furtively my way. “I’ve seen Dad eat a handful of serrano peppers in one sitting. And he always douses his pizza with red chili flakes. I think he can give Uncle Noah a run for his money. But sorry, Dad”—she wrinkles her nose up at her father—“I know for a fact Uncle Noah has eaten ghost peppers with his meal before and he’s lived to tell about it because I bought a bottle of ghost pepper sauce myself. He thought he should try it first. But after watching him sweat it out, I decided it was a hard pass for me.”
I look to Everett. “And it should be a hard pass for you, too.”
“I’ll be fine.” He takes a moment to give Noah the evil eye. “Lemon, I’m winning you that basket of cornbread muffins.”
We come upon the set and spot our suspect as he talks to the cameraman.
Woody glances our way before shedding a genuine grin.
“Well, look who it is. Honey Hollow’s favorite love triangle.” He pats Noah on the back.
Woody Hawthorne looks friendly enough. He’s wearing the same style Western shirt with whipstitching that he had on the other day, only this time in navy. And he has a blue handkerchief stuffed in his pocket. Most likely because he left the red one at the scene of the crime. It was one of the clues I found that day right after I discovered Candace’s body. And I know that red handkerchief on the floor next to her desk belonged to Woody because he had a red one tucked in his shirt before the murder, and then after the murder it was suspiciously missing. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the fact the bright red file that sat on Candace’s desk during the brief tour she gave us marked death of Zack Ross went missing after the murder. And according to proximity of that handkerchief to the file itself, I say there’s a good chance Woody here swiped it.
Woody helps Noah, Everett, and Mayor Nash sign up for the event, which apparently includes a hold harmless clause agreement stating that any injuries they sustain are their own fault and nobody else’s. That should tip the three of them off that this isn’t a good idea. The next thing that should tip the three of them off that this is a supremely lousy idea is the fact there’s a huge chart featuring the peppers they’re about to ingest along with their level on the Scoville Heat Index. If your food involves a heat index chart, it should clue you in on the fact some serious digestive trouble lies ahead.
Evie and her blonde bestie, Dash, hop up and down with excitement as they stand near the left side of the table talking to their respective boyfriends.
Mayor Nash is seated right in the middle of the action, and to his left is Noah then Everett.
Each contestant is given a glass of water, along with a pitcher of water beside that, and a small plate of what look to be hot wings. There are six men at the table and four women, and to my horror one of them is Carlotta.