"She took the breakup hard."
Finally, I lift my eyes to his and give a rueful smile. "Heather's that awesome, huh?"
"That's not true. She sucks."
"What?" I choke out.
"No." His face flushes. "I mean...That's not...Shit."
Despite myself, I can't help but laugh a little. Even when I'm feeling down, he can still cheer me up somehow.
If only it's enough to drive my insecurities away.
Duane smiles sheepishly. "Don't tell anyone I said that, okay?" Then turning serious, he reaches for my hands and envelopes them in his. "I'll talk to Kendra. I'll set her straight. She won't be rude to you again, I promise."
He also promised that dinner would turn out fine, didn't he?
I shake my head. "You have to stop giving promises you can't keep, Duane."
His face falls. "Allie—"
"I think I'm going home. Tell your mom I said thanks." Taking my hands back, I rise from the table and head out, tears glistening in my eyes.
This isn't how I expected the night to end.
CHAPTER 14
I'm staring out the window as the teacher drones on in front of the class. I can't pay attention to the lecture when my mind is somewhere else. It's still at that dinner, replaying the scene over and over, as if mocking me.
Duane called me when I left his house and tried to seek me out this morning in the hallways, but I'd refused to answer and made sure to avoid him when I spotted him. After the disastrous dinner we had last night, I feel like I need some space.
It's not that I'm blaming him. I just...really need some space. And maybe a little time to think of ways to earn the approval of his little sister. Because I'm not throwing in the towel just yet. I'm upset and feeling like my self-esteem has taken a hit, yes. But it doesn't mean that I'm already giving up on my relationship with Duane. This is just a bump in the road that I have to deal with.
At least that's what I've been telling myself all day.
"Gray and I are heading to Jerry's later," Indie tells me as we stroll down the halls after last period. "You and Duane should come join us."
Yeah, I haven't told her what happened yet. She has no idea, especially since I skipped lunch and stayed at the library in the pretense of doing homework.
"Actually, I have to catch up on some reading. So, maybe next time."
She searches my face. "Everything okay, All? You seem off today."
So, she did notice.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm just, um, thinking about stuff."
"What stuff?" she presses, her brows furrowing. Suddenly, she grabs hold of my arm and draws me to a corner. "Is it Duane? Are you guys having problems? Is that why you didn't show up at lunch?"
Yeah, she definitely noticed.
I wave a hand. "It's nothing. Just a petty disagreement."
It's not that I want to lie to her. I just don't want to make an even bigger deal out of it. Which will likely happen if Indie learns about it.
But my best friend is very perceptive so she doesn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"
"Of course." I force a smile. "Really, don't sweat it. Listen, I have to go. I need to catch up on those books, stat. See you later, okay?"
"But, Allie—"
But I'm already weaving through the crowd, pretending not to hear her. I feel guilty for lying, but I really don't want to make a big deal out of what happened. And I can't just go running to Indie every time Duane and I are having problems in our relationship—okay, just petty problems.
And this current one is petty. Right?
Yeah. Yeah, it is. In fact, I'm not even going to wait long to resolve this. Tonight, I'm going to call Duane. We're going to talk—and I mean really talk—about last night's dinner. I'm going to come clean about my real feelings regarding Heather and my insecurities about our relationship.
Either I'm going to freak him out or he's going to appreciate my honesty. Either way, I know I have to tell him. Or it would keep eating at me like crazy until all my negative thinking destroys our relationship. So, really, do I have any other choice?
You can do it. He's going to understand. You know Duane. He's the best ever.
With a hopeful smile on my face, I cross the parking lot, spotting my car several feet away before something not far from it catches my attention.
Not something—someone. And not just someone. A couple. Kissing.
My steps move to a halt, my body going completely numb when recognition sets in.
Duane and Heather.
Kissing.
My boyfriend—kissing his supposed-to-be ex-girlfriend.
My head is spinning. My ears are ringing. My knees are threatening to buckle under me. Everything around me blurs to nothing until they're all I can see.
Bile works up my throat as Duane pulls away, his eyes fixed on her as if she's the only thing that matters.
"You feel it, too, don't you? This thing between us never really went away." Heather trails her hand down his chest. "So stop playing hard to get. I've learned my lesson, okay? Dump the geeky girl and come back to me."
Duane grabs her hand and drops it abruptly, stepping back. Then as if he finally senses my presence, he flicks his eyes in my direction, his face paling when he sees me. "Allie."
Hearing my name, Heather follows his gaze. Surprise crosses her features before a triumphant smile replaces it.
I ignore her, focusing my tear-brimmed glare on Duane, whose face is filled with guilt and panic.
He takes a step toward me. "Beanie, please."
"No." I shake my head. Then I'm turning on my heel and running to my car, ignoring his calls as tears race down my cheeks.
CHAPTER 15
"There must be some kind of explanation for what you saw. I mean, Duane couldn't do something like that. He wouldn't dare cheat on you with Heather. She doesn't want her anymore." Indie tries to assure me as I cry my eyes out in my room. "Maybe you should try to talk to him first."
After peeling out of the school parking lot, I called Indie during the drive home, asking her to come to my house. Which she didn't hesitate to do when she heard the sniffles through the line. And even though Duane trampled on my heart, I asked her not to say anything to my brother. They just started talking again—Gray can't go back to ignoring him.
I blow my nose into the tissue and toss it into the growing pile of used ones in front of me. I don't care how gross I'm being right now. The clean freak in me is taking a break. Maybe even a long one.
God, I can't believe Duane did that to me.
But do you really? Deep inside, you've always known that he'd go back to her. And now you know you're not just being paranoid. The perfect couple are back together again, and you're once again relegated to the sidelines.
I took a risk and look where it got me.
A sob escapes from my lips, sending fresh tears running down my already soaked cheeks.
"Oh, hon. Come here." Indie wraps her arms around me, letting me cry on her shoulder.
And that's what I do. I let it all out—all the hurt, all the pain—hoping that it's nothing but a nightmare. But it's not. It's real, and it hurts so much.