I plop down onto the couch and keep her on my lap, hugging her close to me to keep her warm. She’s giving me a very intense look, but I choose to ignore it. I can’t keep making this about me, when she feels like shit and needs a friend. She needs comfort, not stress.
“Tell me what you need right now,” I rumble, taking her small hand in mine. “Are you hungry?” She shakes her head. “Thirsty?” Another shake. “Do you… want me to draw you a bath?”
Our eyes connect and hers shine right into me. I summon all my telepathic powers in an attempt to read her mind. I want so badly to know what happened to her tonight, but she doesn’t want to tell me.
Her husband… Did he… touch her? Did he do things that she didn’t want…? Why did he hurt her like this? What reason could there ever be to put your hands on someone…?
I know there aren’t any black and white answers. Nothing that will ease my mind, or help me understand. Guys who hit women are just psychos, and there’s probably no rhyme or reason to it at all, which is such a bullshit empty notion.
“No, thank you,” she whispers, responding to my bath suggestion. “I just want to decompress for a few, if that’s okay.”
“Whatever you want, Alex,” I say with certainty. “Just tell me what you want and it’s yours. You can stay here as long as you like. The guest room is set up, and you can -”
“I appreciate that, Noah, but I’ll probably just stay the night. He just needs to cool down and then -”
I beg my body not to do it, but it’s no use. The words come up like projectile vomit.
“Cool down?” I bark and her eyes widen. “Alex, there’s no cooling down. He’s fucking beating you! He’ll never cool down. You need to leave him!”
As soon as I pause my angry outburst long enough to take a breath, I’m instantly swept up in a giant cloud of guilt. Are you serious?! You’re yelling at her?? She just got attacked by her husband and you yell at her… What the hell is wrong with you??
“Alex, I’m so sorry,” I start backpedaling, fast. “I didn’t mean to get angry or involve myself. I don’t know anything about what’s going on and obviously I could never put myself in your shoes… It’s just that I care about you so much. It’s killing me to see you like this.”
I watch her face closely to make sure I haven’t terrified her. And surprisingly she doesn’t look scared or upset at all. She’s just gaping at me with wide, unblinking eyes. Her tongue sweeps over the cut on her lip and it catches my attention. Even with the pain, her lips are so tempting…
My eyes slide back up to hers from that perfect mouth and I swallow hard. I hadn’t even noticed that our fingers had laced together.
“I just wish you’d talk to me,” my voice is barely audible.
She nods slowly and sucks in a long breath, letting it out steadily.
“Okay.”
My brows spring up. “Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you. I’d like that, actually. To talk… to you.” Her face is very still, but everything I saw on it when she first arrived dissipated, replaced by a brilliant wonder. I have to say, it’s a marvelous look on her, though I don’t quite know why she’s giving it to me.
“You can tell me anything, Alex,” I reiterate what I’ve told her before.
Her head bobs again in acceptance. “Alright. But I’m really tired. Could we maybe… lay down? While we talk…?”
Her eyes are so inquisitive, bordering almost on excited. I think this could be, quite possibly, the first time she’s ever talked to anyone about her situation. I feel honored that she’s chosen to do so with me, even if I did kind of beg her for it.
Still… Progress.
“You want to go lie down in the guest room?” I ask quietly. Her head shakes slowly while she traces my fingers with hers. “You want to… go up to my room?”
I’m barely breathing at all, which is strange. We’re just going to talk. Nothing is happening. But having her in my bed… lying down… Even with all these terrible circumstances surrounding us, I can’t help but succumb to the budding anticipation.
Alex nods with zeal at the suggestion of coming to my room.
Fuck me…
“I mean, if that’s okay…” she mumbles, her other fingers now caressing the base of my neck.
I breathe out a shaky one, trying not to be obvious. “Of course it’s okay. Ready?” She nods and the smallest smile breaks through, which has my heart soaring.
No, really though. What am I getting myself into…?
I stand up, with Alex still in my arms, and walk to the stairs, carrying her up them slowly. She’s incredibly light, which doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Her body is luscious as all hell, and I’ve seen her stuff her face before. She’s small and petite, but with a fine-as-fuck booty and plump tits that fit in my palm like a handful. I just think maybe she would eat more if she wasn’t so stressed out and afraid.
And now I’m remembering the other night, when I squeezed her tit while she was coming and it immediately made me come in my jeans, like a damn loser.
Like I haven’t touched hundreds of breasts in my life, and now for some reason touching these ones has my dick decorating the inside of my Calvin Kleins.
She has her nipple pierced though. I felt it through her bra… That’s fully hot. I liked when she was touching mine. Mmmm… yes…
Wait! Stop it. You’re not doing that again, remember?? You’re just going to talk. As friends.
Absolutely no humping tonight whatsoever. Do you understand me??
I’m mentally scolding my dick. That’s what it’s come to.
I lay Alex down in my bed, where Boots is already napping. That’s essentially all he does, but Alex seems pleased with it, and she moves to cuddle up with him, kissing his soft head all over. I grin to myself and crawl into bed beside them.
Attempting to make this whole thing more comfortable for both of us, I grab the remote to my stereo system and turn it on, queuing up a playlist of relatively smooth songs. As smooth as I go, anyway.
The End of Heartache starts playing and Alex perks up.
“I love this song,” she croons, lying down on her side, propping up on her elbow.
“Me too.”
I mirror her position, the both of us parallel to one another in my massive bed, with Boots in the middle.
I stay quiet, figuring that she’ll start speaking when she’s ready, and nothing I say now will be of any use to her, so shutting up is key. We stare at each other for a while, just breathing; no other sounds outside of Killswitch Engage.
It’s interesting to have her in my bed with me like this. No woman has ever been here unless we’d already had sex and passed out from being exhausted, or drunk. Typically, if I can avoid it, I don’t let women sleep in my bed with me. It’s too intimate. Cuddling is what you do with someone who means something to you.
Hence why Alex is here. She fits in my bed, and it feels good to have her here, no sex involved. Not that I would say no to it, if it were offered… But it will not happen, so I might as well kick that thought out and lock the door.
Alex flops down onto the pillow and rolls onto her back. She’s stares up at the ceiling deep in some intense thoughts.