“Felicity,” Liam stood, dressed in his uniform, leaned against the kitchen counter. “I think you need to talk with someone. Your nightmares are getting worse, not better.”
Felicity knew he was right, but shame kept her from seeking the help she needed. “No, I’ll be fine. They’ll pass.”
“You won’t even go into the bedroom, Felicity. Are you just going to keep the door closed forever?”
“You know, you can go home anytime, Liam. I didn’t ask you to stay here.” Felicity stood, storming from the room and ran upstairs. She paused only briefly at what was her bedroom, before slamming the door to her parents’ room. Liam was right, and that was the thing that pissed her off. She tried to go into that room, on more than one occasion while Liam was at work, but each time, she’d run away in panic.
“Felicity,” Liam knocked at the door, “I’m worried about you.” She heard the sound of his radio, “Shit… look I have to leave. I’ll be back tonight. Call me if you need something, and Felicity,” he paused, “think about what I said.”
Felicity flopped onto the bed, her head racing with confusion. One more week and she’d be back at work, maybe some normalcy would help her breathe a little more. When she was sure Liam had left, she grabbed her keys and headed out. She needed to talk to someone, not a therapist, but someone. She found herself pulling into Hank Carter’s driveway. He’d been like a dad to her growing up, and every time he’d visited her over the last three weeks, he reminded her he was only down the road if she needed something. Well, she needed something.
Hank had the door open before she made it out of the car, “Felicity – I hoped you’d come by!” He greeted her with a hug when she got to the top of the steps.
“Yeah… I need…” her words trailed off, Hank, sensing her struggle, wrapped her in another bear hug.
“It’s alright, sweet girl. Come in here and sit down, we’ll talk as slow or as fast as you need.”
Felicity sat on the couch, wringing her hands in her lap. “Liam wants me to go see a therapist.”
“That might be the best advice that boy has ever given.”
Felicity’s head snapped up, pinning Hank who sat opposite of her, “Wha…what?” she asked confused.
“Look. You went through something awful, and Liam told me about the nightmares. Felicity, shit like that doesn’t just go away. You need to tell a therapist, hell anyone really, about what happened. We can all guess based on what we saw after, but only you know. Only you lived through it. And you did.”
“Did what?”
“Lived through it.” Hank said matter of fact.
“Hank,” Felicity shifted in her seat, “Why is Liam helping me like this? What I did to your son all those years ago – well, he shouldn’t want me around at all. It’s all so confusing.”
“Sweet girl, you were just a kid when that all went down. You needed to see what life was like and I don’t begrudge you at all for your choices. And while Liam carried anger for so long, seeing you near death puts things in perspective for someone. He never stopped loving you. And I suspect, you never stopped loving him. Am I right?”
“I don’t know… I mean…” Felicity looked at her lap, she knew deep down no one ever amounted to Liam, “you’re right. It was a decision I’ve regretted.”
“Then you need to get some help. Otherwise this will be a wall between you. Not because Liam is to blame, or you’re to blame. No… you need to get a fresh head so you can let him love you the way you deserve – and love him the way he deserves. Is that what you want?”
“What I want is to go back in time. What I want is for Liam to not have seen me tied to a bed like an animal. What I want…” Felicity paused and took a cleansing breath, “what I want is for Liam to stop looking at me as though I’m broken.”
Hank moved to sit next to Felicity. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “Girl, that boy looks at you like you’re the world – not broken. Next time you see him staring, really look. You’ll find love in his eyes, not pity.”
Felicity sat with Hank for a little longer, talking about the past and things she’d missed. He reminded her that not everything is as it seems on the surface and to look deeper. After she got home, she stopped feeling sorry and made an appointment with a local therapist. She wanted to feel whole again, this was the first step.
Chapter 21
Felicity was all nerves as she pulled into Dr. Borne’s office. She’d finally gotten the cast removed and cleared for work. Even though it was a Friday, and she would only work one day this week, she was ecstatic. She had been fortunate enough that she wouldn’t need physical therapy for her wrist – even though she’d essentially be doing PT every day when working with clients. Her eye was still a colourful shade of green, similar to an avocado, but her vision had been spared. Cutting the engine, she hurried from the car and headed inside.
“FELICITY!” Lila screamed out and ran to her side, pulling her into a fierce hug!
“Christ, Lila, you just saw me two days ago.” Felicity peeled herself away from her grip.
“I know… but this is different. You’re back to work!”
It had been a total of eight weeks she’d been off. Eight long weeks with Liam in her house. He refused to leave until she agreed to get therapy. Which she did after talking to Hank. The nightmares stopped, but Liam was still there.
“It hasn’t been that long… what’s new?”
Dr. Borne appeared from a room, “Felicity!” he grabbed her for a hug, “So glad you’re back! How’s everything?”
“Great – everything is going… great.” She laughed, “I’ve been seeing a counsellor and the nightmares have stopped. I still haven’t gone into my room, but baby steps.”
“And Liam?” Dr. Borne smirked. Everyone knew Liam was practically living with me.
“He’s still there.” Felicity sighed.
“You should be happy to have him there – if anything he is nice to look at.”
Lila’s jaw dropped, “Dr. Borne!”
“What, I might be married to a hot fireman, but geez, you have to agree he is nice to look at. And he is totally in love with you. That boy did not let up when he thought you were in danger. And Mike said he was like a raging bull on the scene.”
Felicity shook her head, “Yes… I’ve heard it all before. Now, is my first patient here?”
“We can take a hint. Yes, they’re waiting in room 4.” Lila sighed dramatically.
The day flew by. It felt great to be back into a semi-normal routine. Lila and Felicity locked up together and headed out to the parking lot.
“You feel like getting a drink?” Lila probed.
“You know what… I do. I could have never done anything like this in the past, so yeah. Let’s go.”
They headed to a local dive and scooted up to the bar. Lila ordered them margaritas and they chatted while they waited for the bartender to bring the drinks over.
“Alright, spill.” Lila snatched the cool glass and sipped through her straw staring at Felicity.