♦ ♦ ♦
The glow of the sunlight warmed Felicity’s face, stirring her from her restless sleep. As she peeled her eyes open, she realized she was cocooned in the human blanket, Liam. His leg was slung over hers and his arm held her close to his chest. She couldn’t help but notice, even though he was snoring, part of him was wide awake. She ground her behind into him, sparking a moan from behind her. Liam pressed into her, then realizing what he was doing, jerked, causing himself to roll onto the floor.
“Shit.”
Felicity couldn’t contain her giggle, “Oh my god, are you alright?”
“I should be asking you that. I meant to get back on the floor last night, but apparently my body enjoyed your mattress a little too much.”
“I think your body enjoyed more than my mattress.”
Liam covered his very prominent erection with his hands, “Felicity, I… god, this is embarrassing.”
“Why are you embarrassed? It’s not like I don’t know what it looks like.”
“Well, yeah. But its inconsiderate of me, you’re not ready for this yet. I should have been more careful.”
Felicity slid out from under the covers and crawled across the bed. She propped herself on her knees and smiled at Liam.
“Liam.” She held out her hand, beckoning him closer. He took her hand, allowing her to pull him towards her. “You have nothing to apologize for. And more careful? Careful of what?”
“I just don’t want you to think…” his words died off.
“Sex? You’re worried I think you want sex?”
He nodded; his skin flushed with embarrassment.
“I don’t think that. In fact,” she tugged him closer, “you have treated me like glass for far too long. I’m not ready for that…” she shuddered, “but you told me you loved me and have not even attempted to kiss me. Why?”
Liam stood there, frozen. He had no idea why he hadn’t tried to kiss her. He just knew he worried about how she was healing, inside and outside. Figuring she’d let him know when she was ready for anything, looking at her know he figured he was wrong.
“Well?” she probed again.
Liam didn’t think. He just pressed his lips to hers. She froze at first and Liam feared he’d made a mistake, but then she wound her fingers into his hair and pulled him in closer. Their bodies pressed into one another and the kiss turned fierce. It was everything he’d remembered. Her moist lips moving with his in sync. Her tongue dancing with his. Her soft moans made his cock jump in anticipation. Breaking the kiss, Liam rested his forehead on hers, “I missed that – no… I missed you.” He kissed her face, stepping away from her hold. “But if I don’t go shower, my dick will override my brain. And you are definitely not ready for that.”
Chapter 24
Felicity’s life had fallen into a semi-normal routine. Liam had pretty much moved in with her, since she was still afraid to be alone. He’d moved from the floor, to sharing her bed, in a very platonic way. Her visits with her therapist had helped decrease her nightmares, but they still interrupted her week. Now, as she sat in the living room watching T.V., waiting on Liam to get home, her mind began to wander. She found herself climbing the steps towards her bedroom, before she knew it, she was standing outside her bedroom door. Felicity had yet to enter her bedroom. She’d steered clear of the reminders held behind the wooden barrier protecting her from the hell she so longed to bury.
Placing her hand on the cool brass knob, she took a deep breath and twisted. Closing her eyes as she stepped inside, she took several deep breaths. The words of her therapist on repeat in her head, “The room is just a room. Nothing more.”
Peeling her eyes open, her breath caught in her throat. The room was just as she expected it to be, broken – just like her. Her lungs burned as she tried to catch her breath. Her vision swam, spots of red flashing in her mind. Dropping to her knees she couldn’t control the sobs as they spilled from her lips.
Arms wrapped around her, “I got you, Felicity.”
Liam. He had her. Felicity went as he tugged her into his lap. His warm embrace shielded her as she gave in to the overdue need to mourn her loss.
Her loss of the life she’d once had.
Her loss of her mother.
And most importantly,
The loss of herself.
Liam held her on the floor of her bedroom for what felt like an eternity. When the tears dried up, she wiped her face and snorted.
“Feel better?”
Shrugging her shoulders, she burrowed her face into his chest, “I don’t know how to feel.”
“Ok.” Liam squeezed her tighter.
“When will this go away? Am I always going to be broken, Liam?”
“Felicity,” He shifted he so he could look into her eyes, “You’re not broken. Stop saying that.”
“Liam…” she shifted out of his arms and pushed up to stand. Pacing the floor, “you deserve a woman who can give you what you need.”
Liam jumped to his feet, “Felicity… what is it you think I need?”
“A woman who can love you the way you should be loved.”
“Sex?” Liam asked.
Felicity bristled, “Well… yeah – that too. But you don’t get sleep because you’re dealing with my nightmares. I couldn’t even come in here, Liam.”
“Felicity.”
She paced the room, pulling at her hair.
“FELICITY.” Liam said her name louder, causing her to jump.
“WHAT?”
“Look around. You’re in your room. For the last three months you’ve avoided the door like it was going to bite you. Now... here you are, having a conversation with me. In. Your. Room.”
Felicity looked around, realizing she was in her room and not having a panic attack. She sat on the bed, her hands feeling the fluffy comforter. Glancing over her shoulder, she stared at the headboard. Flashbacks to the days she spent as Jaspers captive skittered across her eyes – yet, the panic she expected to feel didn’t come. Instead, anger filled her veins. Standing, she fisted the material and pulled. Stripping the bed completely. Pillow and sheets fluttered to the floor. Liam simply watched as she tore through the linens. She ripped the pillows, feathers dusting the room around him. Screaming, she flung the tattered remains across the room, smacking Liam in the chest. She froze, realizing what she’d done.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry.” Her voice wavering as she watched for his reaction.
Liam picked up the partially full fabric, toying with it between his fingers. He smiled at Felicity before shaking it furiously at her, spilling the remaining feathers into the air. White down filtered the air, latching on to her hair. Felicity stood, wide eyed before erupting into a fit of giggles.
“What?” Liam plucked a feather from his lips.
“Look at this mess.” Felicity spun, pointing to the room, which was now covered in a blanket of white. “It looks like a duck died in here.”
Liam walked behind her, pulling her against his chest, “You’re not broken. I don’t need anyone else. I love you, Felicity. And I will tell you every day until you hear me.”
“But you deserve so much more.”