She couldn’t begin to tell Jess how much that meant to her. She wanted so much better for her children than she and her sister had for the first thirteen years of Rachel’s life.
She wanted to give them confidence, curiosity, joy. She didn’t want them to grow up in a war zone, with a perennially stressed mother trying desperately to achieve an impossible perfection.
“Thanks for saying that. I don’t feel like it most of the time, but thanks.”
“So according to your notes, I’m getting them off to school and preschool tomorrow then Cody’s mom is picking up Ava when she gets out.”
“Yes. And she’ll get Grace from the bus and hang out with them at the house until whatever time we make it back in the evening.”
“That works.”
“Thank you again. I don’t know how to make it up to you.”
“No need. This is just what family does, Rachel.”
“I’m still throwing you a big birthday party. I haven’t forgotten. It’s not every day my big sister turns the big three-oh. We have to celebrate!”
“We really don’t,” Jess began, but Rachel didn’t let her finish.
“Yes. We haven’t been together to celebrate your birthday in years. How long has it been? Probably before...” Her voice trailed off and silence fell between them like a cold, relentless rain.
“Right.”
Rachel didn’t want to think about that before. She had spent her entire adult life trying not to think about it.
“I’ll arrange everything. I should invite Eleanor and Nate and Sophie! It will be terrific. Leave everything to me.”
Jess sighed, clearly not excited about the party. Too bad. Rachel was doing it anyway.
She needed something good to focus on right now, something to take her mind off the chaos and mess of her life.
After they ended the call, she sat for a moment there beside the quiet pool, sipping her protein shake and watching a couple of kids play in the far end.
The fresh air soothed her, as it always did. She spent a lot of time working out in her garden or taking walks with Silas in his stroller for that very reason. She needed the peace and calm of nature to center her.
When she felt calm and relaxed, she returned to the hotel, prepared to apologize to Cody and see how much of their night away she could salvage.
She found all the lights out. Cody was stretched out on the bed, sound asleep, already snoring.
He had changed into the basketball shorts and T-shirt he liked to sleep in and had arranged the pillows the way he did at home.
So much for a romantic interlude. Rachel sighed.
Maybe this was their life together now. Two parents so exhausted by the efforts of keeping their family running that they grabbed sleep wherever they could find it.
Instead of the sexy negligee she had brought, she changed into her favorite sleep shirt that she had also tucked into her suitcase and slipped into bed beside her husband.
Cody made a sound, rolled over and wrapped an arm around her.
At least they had this, she thought, snuggling deeper into his heat. At least in sleep, he still turned toward her, even if he didn’t seem to want to when they were both awake.
Maybe this could be enough for now.
18
Jess
After ending the call, Jess looked around at the gleaming kitchen, wondering about the sister whose territory she stood in.
She had a deep, aching wish that they could be closer, as they once had been. She and Rachel always seemed to skim the surface of each other’s lives. They could be cordial to each other, even loving, but never with the closeness they’d once had. She missed when Rachel had been her best friend, when they had turned to each other as a protection against the stress and trauma of their parents’ ugliness.
Rachel was struggling. Jess didn’t know if it was depression, anxiety or a combination of both. Either way, it was obvious her sister seemed deeply unhappy.
Jess didn’t want or need a birthday party but if that would help Rachel through whatever dark time she was navigating, Jess would suffer through it.
* * *
After an uneventful night where she actually slept quite well on the family room sofa, the morning was far more hectic than it should have been.
Freckles ended up throwing up breakfast, which made Grace dry heave and almost lose her breakfast. Jess took time to give Ava a quick bath to make up for the night before. Ten minutes later, Ava spilled orange juice on the cute jumper her mother had thoughtfully set out for her, turning everything sticky.
By the time she cleaned up all the messes, changed Ava and got Grace off to school and Ava to preschool, Jess was exhausted. And her own workday hadn’t started yet.
When she arrived at Eleanor’s house, she found her employer in an odd mood, as if she knew a secret and was having a hard time keeping it.
“How did everything go with the girls yesterday?” Eleanor asked, eyes twinkling.
What did she know about the way Jess had spent her evening? Did she know about the impromptu pizza party with Nate and Sophie?
“Um. Great. We ended up building a great sandcastle down at the cove with Sophie in the afternoon.”
“She told me. And Nathaniel showed me the picture. He’s already printed one out for the album Sophie keeps of the sand creations she’s made over the years.”
“Oh. That’s nice.”
“She and her grandfather often built sandcastles together. Jack was always coming up with new things to create down there. It was one of their things.”
“That’s what she said.”
“And then I understand you had a bike problem that Nathaniel helped you with and you three ended up having dinner with him and Sophie.”
“Yes. They were kind enough to help me with a flat tire on my sister’s bike and then we had pizza at Driftwood Park. How was dinner with your friends?”
Eleanor had told her the day before an old friend and her husband were in town and they had plans to meet up.
“Oh lovely. It’s always good to spend time with friends you haven’t seen for a while. It’s like picking up a book you love that you haven’t read in a long time. I’m glad you had a good evening, as well. Sophie seemed to have enjoyed herself.”
What about Nate? Had he said anything?
Jess frowned at herself. Good heavens. She wasn’t in junior high school. She didn’t need to ask his mother, of all people, if he had mentioned her.
“I’m glad my son offered to help you with your bike and the girls. He’s a good man. I might be a little biased, of course, but I don’t think so.”