“Oh. It’s raining,” she murmured. He probably shouldn’t find it so intensely, powerfully seductive that she hadn’t even noticed.
“Yes.” He eased a little farther away. “We should go. The path can be slippery enough when it isn’t raining, especially the steep parts.”
She sighed, looking a little lost. “I wish we didn’t have to. I wish we could stay right here.”
“So do I,” he said gruffly. “But I would hate for you to catch pneumonia on your birthday.”
With another sigh, she rose and wiped off sand from the bench. He grabbed Cinder’s leash and his flashlight in one hand and her hand in the other and they made their way to the path.
He really should build some sort of shelter down there. A gazebo or even a shed where they could store the boards, kayaks and other water equipment. His dad had never wanted anything down there, concerned it would mar the view.
Your grandfather never wanted anything that shows the hand of man down there, Jack used to say. I feel the same. When I’m in the cove, I like to believe I’m alone with the sea and the sky and nothing else.
His father had relented enough to put in the bench for Eleanor. Nate regretted now that he had never followed through with building a structure, so they could have had a dry place to wait out the storm.
The rain started in earnest when they were about halfway back to her trailer, pouring in sheets that obscured his vision.
By the time they reached her Airstream, a silvery, sleek refuge from the rain, they were both drenched.
“Do you...want to come in and dry off?” she asked, her face a pale blur in the darkness as she stood under her awning.
Saying no was just about the hardest thing he had ever done.
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life. More than I want to breathe. But I don’t want either of us to regret it. Though I hate like hell having to say this, I don’t think this is the right moment. Not when you’re still upset after the fight with your sister.”
She didn’t say anything for several seconds. Finally, she nodded. “You’re probably right.”
She leaned in to kiss him softly. “Thank you for listening.”
He lifted a hand to gently brush her cheekbone. “You don’t need to carry the weight of the world by yourself, Jess. It’s okay to put it down once in a while and let someone else help you.”
“I do feel better. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”
“So far thirty is terrific,” she said dryly. “I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year brings.”
He smiled at her sarcasm, kissed her one last time, then he and Cinder slipped away through the rain toward his house, yearning with everything inside him that he could stay.
30
Jess
She stood under the awning, drenched and chilled, as she watched Nate and his dog hurry away until they were out of view.
She shivered from more than just the wind blowing through her wet clothes.
She didn’t want him to go. She wanted to call after him and drag him inside her cozy trailer and make love all night long, safe and dry in his arms while the rain pounded the aluminum skin.
Oh, this was bad.
She couldn’t believe she had told him about that last horrible night with Roni and Doug. The words had spilled out of her like rainwater carving a channel to the sea.
Right there under her awning, Jess stripped out of her wet clothes to her bra and panties and draped them over the bistro chairs so they wouldn’t drip all over the trailer then hurried inside.
She grabbed a towel first and wrapped it around her, then turned on her propane heater to warm the space.
One of the few things she didn’t like about living in these close quarters were the bathing facilities. She loved glorious, luxuriant showers but the water capacity was severely limited in the Airstream.
Sometimes on the road, she checked into a hotel room for a night simply so she could indulge and take a long, hot shower where she didn’t have to worry about the water running out.
Still, she made do as best she could then slipped into her favorite warm sweats and thick socks. Jess knew she ought to climb into bed. The day had been long and she felt wrung out from the wild emotions of the past few hours.
Her mind was racing too much to sleep, jumping between Rachel, Cody, her parents.
Nate.
She was relieved he hadn’t accepted her invitation to come inside. It had been a spontaneous thing, spurred by the hunger that had only been growing stronger since the first time they kissed and by the security and safety she felt in his arms down at the cove.
He was right. She would have regretted it in the relentlessly harsh light of morning.
Jess had friends who could sleep with any person who caught their eye. Sometimes Jess wished she could do the same. That casual approach fit so much better with her own personal narrative, the persona she tried to portray of someone who hurried into town, took care of what needed to be done and then moved on.
How much easier would it be to keep everyone from getting too close if she were the sort of woman who could invite a desirable man into her bed at night, take what she wanted from him and kick him out in the morning without a second thought?
Over the years, she had learned that the price for a few hours of intimacy was simply too steep. She ended up feeling more alone than ever.
Too bad.
Right now, with the rain drumming against the Airstream and her body still quivering from Nate’s touch, she wanted so much more.
No. It was for the best. She already felt closer to him than any man she could remember, even the few she had dated for more than a few weeks.
She had never told either of those guys about her parents. She had just said they died when she was a teenager and neither had pressed.
Why had she spilled everything to Nate?
She still didn’t know.
All in all, it was probably a good thing she planned to leave the following week. A few more moonlit meetups with Nate and she would be so tangled up with him, she wouldn’t be able to extricate herself.
Would that be so horrible?
Yes. She knew the answer to that. Nate was the sort of man who would never be content with a casual relationship and she simply didn’t know if she had anything more to offer.
A text came through just as Jess was finally slipping into bed.
Hey, beautiful birthday girl. How was the par-tay?
She smiled, wondering how Yvette’s simple texts sounded so clearly like her friend.