“Yes,” she interrupted with a sigh. “It is. It’s very important. But let’s not think about it today. It just feels so good to be out. I am loving all this Utah scenery. It feels like we’re having an adventure—” She broke off and flashed him another one of her quick smiles that warmed her eyes and made her generous lips curve, revealing her small, straight white teeth.
He felt a tug in his chest, gratitude and something else, because when Erika smiled, she was radiant. There was no woman more beautiful than her.
“I love adventures,” she added. “Don’t you?”
He felt that tug in his chest again. It was such an inexplicable emotion. Not exactly good, but not exactly bad. Unsettling was more like it. “I like my adventures, too,” he said pulling into a parking lot that was half empty. Easter was late this year, practically the last week of April, and by then there would be more tourists, but it was still early in the season and they’d have most of the park trails to themselves. “That’s why I love being on the pro circuit. Every week, every rodeo is a new adventure.”
“I think your idea of an adventure and mine are very different.” She gave a little sniff, her nose in the air. “In my adventures, I don’t almost die.”
He laughed, because she made him laugh. He didn’t think he’d ever met a woman so opposite of him in every way, but their differences didn’t bother him. If anything, he liked it. He liked her, more than he should. Billy turned off the engine and faced her. “I have no death wish. I’m not riding bulls and broncs because I don’t have other choices. I’m doing it because I’m good at it. I like it, and I like that I can make a lot of money doing it.”
“I’ve heard you say that a couple of times, and I see what you’ve been able to do with your earnings, or whatever you call it in cowboy speak, but at some point, when is it enough? Can’t you invest what you’ve already earned and find something less dangerous to do?”
“I could, but I like what I do. I love what I do. And I know you don’t like it but you don’t have to. That’s okay. Being a cowboy is my thing.” He opened his door then, ready to get out and move, as well as move on from this topic. He knew how she felt about his career, but it was his career. She had her path. He had his. And sometimes the differences between them were charming, but other times, like now when they were discussing his passion, her opinion aggravated him. He was a man that went by the motto, live and let live. It was a good motto, one his grandfather had ascribed to, and it had seen Billy through some challenging situations.
Erika quickly checked Beck’s diaper—he was wet—so she did a fast diaper change on the passenger seat of the truck and then put on the baby carrier and strapped him in on her chest.
They set off on a dirt trail and moments later came to the edge of a cliff with the most stunning view of pink and crimson rock formations. The entire valley stretched before them, all chiseled pink and red, studded with magnificent pink rocks.
“Beautiful,” she whispered.
“Bryce Amphitheater,” he said, before pointing with his right arm to the unusual spire rock formations. “And those are hoodoos.”
“Hoodoos?” she repeated, and just saying the word made her smile.
“It is a great word, isn’t it? You should see the amphitheater at sunrise or sunset. That’s when you get all the photographers out, trying to capture the perfect shot.”
“Does it get crowded here?”
“Yes, but nothing like Zion, southwest of here. Zion draws a lot more people, which is why I avoid it, but one day you should see it.”
“I had no idea Utah was so beautiful.”
“There’s so much to see in this part of the state. Grand Staircase, Escalante, Capitol Reef, the little historic towns Fruita, and Torrey. I never have enough time to just explore, but that’s the plan for one of these days.”
“I’ve spent so much time on a university campus I sometimes forget there’s a big world out there just waiting to be discovered.”
“Feel like walking?”
“Absolutely.”
*
They’d walked down a slope for twenty minutes, passing gnarled trees and through walls and arches of stunning pink stone. Beck was so light he was easy to carry, and the fresh air and views, so stunning at every turn, made Erika feel as if she was walking in an enchanted wonderland. They paused midway down the mountain to soak it up and let Erika take some more photos.
But Erika wasn’t ready to start walking again. She’d been feeling guilty ever since they parked and it was time she got it off her chest. “I’m sorry if I sound so negative about your career. I don’t mean to be—” She broke off, drew a breath, and tried again. “It’s none of my business, what you do, but I just… care… about you. I care about you a lot, and I’d hate for anything to happen to you. You’re such a good person, a really wonderful person, I just want you to stay safe, and be here fifty years from now.”
Billy didn’t immediately answer. “I don’t know who I would be without the rodeo. It’s who I am. It’s what defines me.”
“That’s not really true, you know,” Erika said quietly, giving Beck’s back a little rub through the soft fabric of the navy carrier. “You would still be you. Smart, funny, kind, courageous, Billy Wyatt.”
He said nothing. She could see he was troubled.
“If I’d met you apart from the rodeo,” she added, “and I just met you and I knew nothing about your fame or success, I’d think you were intriguing. The rodeo doesn’t make you interesting, you make the rodeo interesting.”
He glanced down at her, expression shuttered. “That’s nice of you.”
“I’m being sincere. You’re special, Billy.” She swallowed hard, her face warm. Had she said too much? She probably had, but she still couldn’t stop talking. More words tumbled from her mouth. “You don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to know I’m sorry for criticizing. I shouldn’t be negative. I’ll just say, please be careful, Billy Wyatt, because you mean a lot to a lot of people.”
For a moment, silence stretched, a long humming silence filled with things they avoided saying. He finally broke the silence. “Does that include you?”
Her cheeks grew warmer. Her voice dropped lower. “Yes.”
“You’d miss me if I wasn’t around?”
Her eyes stung. An uncomfortable lump filled her throat. “I think it’d break my heart.”
He reached out, lightly stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Don’t want to do that.”
Chapter Nine
She didn’t know which made her feel more, his touch, or his words. Combined, they made the ache in her chest grow, filling her with tenderness and pain.
What she felt for him wasn’t infatuation. What she felt went so much deeper than that. She wanted what was best for him. She wanted him safe. She wanted him to live a long, happy life.
He gently stroked her cheek again, a sweeping caress from the corner of her mouth, up over her cheekbone, and then back again. “Why do you look so sad?”