“I can’t, if you’ve committed a murder.”
He liked her, she was funny and beautiful, and he enjoyed her quick wit. “No murder, no mayhem, nothing illegal.”
“What about immoral?”
“Nope. It’s more of a pitiable reaction I had to something someone else did, resulting in me having my own place in the middle of a state where no one in my family lives.”
“It had to be something someone in your family did,” she said.
“It was. How did you come to that conclusion though?”
“Because they’re the only ones that really matter to you, and therefore the only ones that would get under your skin that much.”
“Smart girl. If psychology doesn’t work out, you could be a detective.”
She laughed, the sound bright, tinkly.
“What I’m about to tell you is not known, not by anyone in my family, and so you must promise to take this secret to your grave.”
“I take patient confidentiality very seriously and promise not to disclose what you are about to share with me.”
The mock gravity in her voice made him glance at her. She was trying not to smile, and yet her eyes were bright, and her cheeks had picked up color from their hike. Her long golden hair was tousled from the earlier breeze and he thought she looked like heaven, at least his idea of heaven where angels were a bit naughty, and all celestial beings had a sense of humor.
If he had a dream girl, it was Erika. Brilliant, beautiful, warm, kind, funny.
He’d love to love her. She was so sweet and sexy, but he couldn’t offer her the stability she craved. He couldn’t offer her the love she deserved.
And she deserved all the love in the world.
“I bought the land when Tommy called me to tell me he’d gotten married,” he said. “It was a shock. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Tommy was my best friend and he’d married without me there? Without even talking to me about it first? I was in Vegas, too. We were there for the National Finals Rodeo. He and I were sharing a hotel room. How does he go get married without saying a word to me?”
“You were hurt.”
“I was angry.”
“But hurt,” she said.
He sighed. “Hurt, yes. Angry and hurt and I wanted nothing to do with him and his new wife, so I bought the land the next day and moved into the little cabin on the property and that was that. Tommy was no longer my problem.”
“Tommy’s not married now.”
“No.”
“How long ago did they divorce?”
“I don’t know.” Billy glanced her way. “I don’t think it lasted long, but he’s never discussed it. Any of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean?”
“We talk about everything, I mean, everything, but he has never shared anything about her, or why he married her, or why they divorced, and I’m the only one in the family who knows about the Vegas wedding.”
“Do you even know her name?”
“No. For some reason I kept thinking it was Briar, but I’ve no proof.”
“Briar?”
“I don’t even know where I got that from because Tommy doesn’t discuss it. He never told anyone else about the wedding, and until now, I never told anyone else. So you’re privy to a Wyatt secret.”
“Was he drunk when he married her?”
“No.”
“Was she pregnant?”
“No idea.” Billy glanced at Erika. Her eyes were wide, her expression baffled. “Tommy has never talked about it.”
“Why didn’t he want the rest of your family to know?”
“Mom made it clear that there were only two things we couldn’t fail at—one was marriage and the other was birth control. If we were going to marry, we needed to make it work, and if we were going to have sex, we better condom up.”
“And yet you and April…”
“A definite shocker since we’d used protection. I’d used protection.”
“So Tommy has kept his secret because he doesn’t want to disappoint your mom?”
“No. He’s kept his secret because there is more to the story, and for whatever reason, he doesn’t want anyone to know the story.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Three years? Four? It’s been a while now.”
“Wow.”
“I know.” Billy put on the signal for the turn to his property. “And now you’ve got to keep the secret, too.”
She drew her legs up on the seat. “Why did you tell me?”
“Because I trust you.” He gave her a long, knowing look. “And I think it’s time you trusted yourself.”
*
Back at the cabin, Erika showered and dressed, while playing Billy’s words in her head. He trusted her, and he thought it was time she trusted herself.
What did that even mean?
It was so frustrating. He was so frustrating. There was something between them but she had no idea what it was.
He was flirty, and fun, and sometimes serious, but it was never more.
Well, there was that tension, the one they both worked hard to ignore, but sexual tension wasn’t a relationship. Sexual tension was what Billy was best at.
He didn’t do relationships. He just had sex.
If she was open to it, she thought he’d probably have sex with her.
She wasn’t open to it, though. She wanted him, but not that way. Or at least, not only that way. Sex with him wasn’t enough. She didn’t just want an orgasm, she wanted love. She wanted his heart.
Unlike Billy, she didn’t have a close family. She didn’t have a clan. She needed people of her own, her family, and she wouldn’t settle for less. She couldn’t. Love was too important.
Billy grilled steaks that night using just his right arm. He had her help him in the kitchen, washing potatoes and salting before wrapping in foil, and then rinsing the romaine lettuce for a salad. But he seasoned the steaks on his own, and then managed to light and clean the outdoor grill.
She carried the potatoes and platter of steaks outside to him, and then after checking on Beck, who was bouncing wildly in his bouncy seat, leaned against the column on the back porch and watched Billy put the potatoes on. “We’ll need to wait for the steaks,” he said.
He’d showered when he returned, and his hair was wet, slicked back, showing off his impressive bone structure. He was a handsome man even straight out of the shower. “Did any of your family wonder about you buying a cabin in southwest Utah?”
“Joe was disappointed. He’s hoping some of us will settle on the ranch, help him out, but that’s not me. Who knows? Tommy might.”
“Don’t you miss your mom and grandfather when you’re here?”
“I try to see them every month or two, even if just for a day. Planning on taking Beck home before too long. Thinking of heading there for Mother’s Day.”
“When is Mother’s Day?” she asked.
“Mid May, second Sunday of May, I believe.” His eyebrows lifted. “I thought all women knew stuff like that.”
“The last time I sent my mom a card it came back unopened.” She shrugged. “I never bothered to send another one. If she doesn’t want a relationship with me, I’m not going to force it.”