The reality was nothing like her fantasies. First of all, practicing by herself was nothing like actually doing it with a partner. Second of all, Zaxe was no mystery man, but a hot-blooded male, very real and very aroused.
Dancing was sensual by nature, a part of the courtship between men and women. A slight touch, a quick glance, all meant so much. All her senses had been attuned to him. It was the man, not the twists and turns, that had left her breathless.
The area was deserted, the rest of the village back at the feast. “We should have said good night and thanked Qasim.” It was a grave oversight, could be viewed as an insult.
“He’ll forgive us.” Like a wraith, Zaxe slid silently through the shadows. She had to hurry to keep up, sometimes losing him momentarily. She finally released a breath when they reached their destination. If there were sentries, she couldn’t see them.
He opened the door and held it. It was wicked of her, but she deliberately brushed against him as she passed. The slight hitch in his breath reassured her that he wasn’t quite as cool as he seemed.
If she was tense and frustrated, he should be, too. Maybe that wasn’t fair, but she wasn’t exactly in the mood to be reasonable. Her body was hot and she ached for his touch. Now that she understood what sex with him was like, she craved more.
Fighting the urge to go to him, she walked to the table and lit a small lantern before dropping onto one of the chairs. He shut the door and frowned at the wooden panel.
“What’s the plan?” She crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring the zing that ran straight to her core when she brushed her nipples. Didn’t matter there was a shirt and binding around them. They were ultra-sensitive.
“Wait until morning. Leave by midday if none of Helldrick’s men show.” Zaxe retrieved one of the washbowls and set it in front of the door. If someone opened it, they’d strike it, making a noise. Simple but effective.
“Do you think Qasim is telling the truth about that?” It had occurred to her that the wily old man might have his own agenda. She hated to think he’d betray them, but it was a possibility.
Zaxe shrugged. “Maybe.”
She lowered her hood and dragged her fingers over her braids. The food and dance had given her some energy, but exhaustion had caught up to her and was making it difficult to think straight. “Surely you’ve got more than that. Do you think he sent someone to warn Helldrick or to bring him here?”
“Doesn’t matter as long as I find him.” Zaxe lowered himself to the floor, back to the wall, legs out in front of him, looking for all the world like a man totally relaxed.
“And kill him. That’s the mission, right?” Why was she being so bitchy? She rubbed her hand over her face and smothered a yawn. He’d been upfront with her from the beginning.
“That’s always been the mission.” His reasonable tone made her want to kick him.
She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. “I know.” She had to get it together. The last thing she needed was him deciding she was too much trouble and possibly slipping away on his own. “I’m worried about my brother.”
“Tell me about him.”
Jamaeh sat back. “What do you want to know?”
“Is he like Helldrick?”
“He’s nothing like Helldrick,” she snapped.
“You’re his sister. You might not be the best judge of that.”
She catapulted from the chair and stalked across the room to stand over him. He cocked a brow, but other than that, wasn’t the least bit concerned by her outburst. “I know my brother, you don’t.”
“True.”
All the fight drained out of her. “What do you want?” She was too tired to figure it out. He took her hand and pulled her down, not beside him, but on his lap. She should object, should get up. She rested her head against his shoulder.
“I want you to tell me about him. Who are his friends? How does he spend his time?”
Jamaeh almost refused, but she wanted Zaxe to see Esau as she did. “Everyone likes Esau.” Even to herself she sounded defiant. She took a breath. “He always has a smile, sees the humor in a situation. He helps out where he can, is learning carpentry skills from a neighbor.”
“But who are his friends?”
She opened her mouth and closed it. “There’s no one in particular.” It hadn’t seemed odd to her since she had no female friends. “He’s friendly with everyone.”
Zaxe rubbed his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion. “He feels as alone as you do, looking for a place to truly belong.”
“You’re right.” Stricken, she swallowed heavily. “How could I not have seen? Not have known?”
“You’ve been busy providing for him, keeping a roof over his head.”
“He works.” She didn’t want Zaxe to think Esau was a drain on their finances. “Since he was a child, he’s found a way to earn money. He’s always brought it home, proud to tell me what he’s done.”
“And would working with his father allow him to provide for you, the sister he loves and who has taken care of him his entire life?”
Fear gripped her heart. “No. Yes. I don’t know.” Uncertainly dug in its sharp talons, refusing to let go. “He knows how I feel about Helldrick. He wouldn’t work with him.”
“He went with him.”
The logic just about broke her. “Why are you doing this?” She dragged herself out of his arms and stumbled over to sit on the side of the bed. The battle in the canyon hadn’t left her this battered and hurt.
“I don’t want you blindsided if that’s the case. Maybe it was nothing more than a son wanting his father’s attention. Esau left without telling you, right?”
“Yes. It’s why I’m so worried. He always tells me where he’s going. He knows I worry.”
Zaxe’s eyes darkened and he nodded. “Maybe Helldrick tricked him somehow.”
“Maybe.” But she was no longer certain.
“You should try to get some sleep.” He pulled his cloak around him and closed his eyes. The lamplight flickered over his dark skin, making him appear almost otherworldly.
The fanciful thought made her shake her head. He was a flesh and blood man, sexy and aggravating. “You can’t honestly expect me to sleep now.” Even as she said it, she yawned.
“There’s no point in worrying about something you can’t change. All you can do is deal with things as they come at you.”
“Is that what you do?” She lowered herself, sighing when her head hit the single pillow. Grabbing the blanket, she tugged it over her, snuggling under the warmth.
Zaxe turned his head toward her. “Yes.”
She waited a few seconds. “That’s it? Yes?”
He shrugged. “Life will happen as it will. All you can do is control what you can, accept what you can’t, and find a way to turn it to your advantage.”
A practical, if not slightly cold philosophy of life. “Is that an assassin thing?” She could have bitten her tongue, but curiosity had hold of her. “You know about my life.” More than most did. Not to mention they’d been intimate. She knew very little about him. “What about you?”