“You know what I mean.” She looks up at me, her eyes filled with curiosity as her cheeks heat. “You, uh, did something different this time.”
“I have a lot of different things I’d like to do to you.”
She turns her tight little body to lay on her stomach, all her goods hidden aside from the spectacular view of her ass which I unveil by moving the sheet. I love our late-night chats. I’ve been sneaking her into my room every night this week. Though stuck in the small space, we’ve managed to keep ourselves entertained. Sometimes we study until passed hungry looks get the best of us. Other nights we order food in, sharing Chinese takeout across a stack of pillows. It’s an escape for both of us, to say the least. In this room, we’re free to just…be.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened with your dad?”
She winces. “Is he still going hardcore on you all?”
“Every damn practice. It’s like he’s been waiting for the chance to make us pay. It’s hell on earth.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I chuck her chin. “Tell me.”
“He yelled, a lot. More than he ever has. It was pretty scary. And then he apologized for it, which only showed me how hurt he was. I told him it wasn’t meant for him to see, but it didn’t matter. Mom hasn’t made it any easier on me. They both went silent for a few days after the initial blowup, which was the worst. Mom is coming around a little day by day but Dad, well he’s submersed himself into the season. I’ve spent the last few days trying to talk to him, assure him it’s not a thing which is like shooting my own foot off. I hate lying to him.”
“Harper, I can’t—”
“I know,” she says softly. “I-just, if he ever finds out he may never trust me again. We’re close. I’ve always been honest with him. It’s my guilt. I’ll deal with it. He’s just, really protective of me because of what happened.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“With that guy?”
I nod.
She swallows, her eyes cast down. “I was fourteen. He told me he really liked me and talked me into sneaking over to see him. He’d been my crush since third grade. I wanted so badly to believe him. Being with him was… he made me feel…high. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“He pressured me, sweet-talked me into it, but he didn’t make me. It wasn’t like that. I was willing, but I still knew it wasn’t right. I knew I wasn’t ready. Anyway,” she looks down, picking at non-existing lint off the sheet, “it lasted only seconds, but it was painful and horrible. But that wasn’t the worst part. He recorded it to show his friends.”
“Jesus, Harper.”
“Yeah, well, he’s the one who should have been embarrassed, he’s the minute man.”
“Don’t joke.”
She runs her fingers over my chest lost in that time. “Trust me, it will never be funny.”
“It’s no wonder why coach is ready to kill us. If that happened to my kid, I’d flip shit.”
“It circulated through the school. My sister didn’t speak to me for months. After that, my whole life imploded. I was totally out of control and I couldn’t stop crying. My parents pulled their hair out. I had to go to therapy. Bad, bad time.”
“Yeah, but you’re speaking so casually about this.”
She frowns. “I know, it’s just…I think when you’ve been through possibly the worst thing that will ever happen to you, it changes you a little. I feel for other people, like really feel for them, I can empathize, but that incident kind of made me, I don’t know, tougher…harder to hurt? Less quick to bruise.”
I lift her to lay on my chest and thread my fingers through her hair.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I whisper to her temple.
“It was just a mistake, you know? Something that I could’ve lived with and learned from, but Dad said modern technology made it impossible. At least that’s his take. And that’s why doing what I did to you makes me a frigging idiot.”
“That’s different, you didn’t mean to take a picture of my ass.”
“Different, but I’m still guilty.”
“Let it go,” I nudge her with my chin, “I have.”
“Promise?”
“Swear.”
“Thank you.”
She lifts my hand and measures ours in size against my palm, and I lace our fingers. “Since then, Dad’s kind of watched me like a hawk in that respect. He just doesn’t want to see me hurt like that, ever again.”
“Understandable.”
She smiles up at me. “And since then, I’ve been afraid to pull the trigger with guys. Until you. That’s why I was hesitant to walk away from this but knew I had to. That we both needed to.”
“This is a mutual decision.”
“I know. And you should know you’re the first guy I’ve ever really trusted. And I know,” she says softly resting her chin on my chest. “I just know you won’t hurt me. Not like that.”
“I won’t.”
She smiles. “I said I know.”
“How?”
She shrugs. “With you, things are just different. I’m not afraid of you, even though you’re a mammoth meathead with a nasty temper.”
“Nice.”
Lance
I hate surprises. They give me anxiety. Being put on the spot is a fear of mine. I always end up freezing, making a fool of myself or lashing out. So, when my girlfriend asked if she could plan my birthday, I was hesitant, but gave her permission. I glance over at her as she drives, my knee bouncing. For the last month and a half, it’s been smooth sailing. With the season underway, it’s been a tough gain for every win. Coach hasn’t let up much at all, and we’ve all been paying for my secret relationship. My resentment for him is growing, but I leave Harper out of it.
Our days at the gym have been cut down to one, and we utilize that day, and every other I’m not out of town for a game. I’m always eager to watch her dance while we’re at our gym and she’s always at my feet while I’m boxing, quick to point out whatever YouTube advice she’s learned on the sport the night before. I humor her, though it’s not much help. We’ve hit a groove. Our bond only growing as we spend endless hours learning each other, and not just physically. The more we stay together, the more I’m convinced we made the right decision. Even with all the time we’ve spent exploring the other, she’s not wearing on me a bit, my need for her only grows.
“At least give me a hint.”
Harper exits onto the interstate and shakes her head. “Is it, or is it not, your birthday?”
“Yes.”
“And did you, or did you not, agree to let me plan something tonight?”
“I did.”
“There’s your answer.”
“Damn, you’re stubborn.” I draw her hand from where it rests on the gear shift and kiss the back of it. “I don’t need anything but you. Naked.”
“Charming, but you’re still not getting a hint.”