He was different, of course. He was older, more jaded. He wasn’t friendly and seemed impossible to know. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to know him. She wanted to know him more than anything.
Her breath seemed short all over again, but this time for very different reasons. She glanced down and found his hands still wrapped around hers.
He shifted. Was he uncomfortable? Was this awkward?
The wind tugged strands of her hair from the elastic she’d used to tie it into a ponytail, and it caught at the corners of her mouth. He reached over and pushed it away, smoothing it back with such kindness it overwhelmed her.
Eric had never been this kind or attentive. He’d always been in a hurry.
“Are you having nightmares?” Cody asked.
She nodded, willing away the knot at the back of her throat, which seemed to only tie itself tighter.
“How long?”
“Since the day you saved my life.”
He nodded. “Me too.”
“Nightmares?”
“Since the day my dad saved my life.”
Her heart lurched. How was it possible that he continued to go in the water? Continued to war with this vicious ocean and keep these taunting dreams at bay?
He picked up her hands and pressed them to his mouth. His eyes were closed, and he inhaled a breath deeper than any of the ones she’d just taken. “You should’ve told me.” Her hands were at his forehead, and he seemed to be working very hard to keep his distance.
Something inside her called out to him, begging him to draw her closer, to give in to this—whatever this was. They were meant to be together. Surely he felt that now? It was undeniable. It was obvious. The fish in the ocean below them could probably feel the electric currents radiating from their boat.
And then, as if his senses had been knocked back into him, he backed away and gently let go of her hands.
“Listen, we need to head back in,” he said. “So I want you to sit here and stare at your shoes. Don’t look up. Don’t even look at me, even though I know how much you like to stare.”
She started to protest, and he smiled.
“I’m kidding, Lou.”
Once again, she did as she was told. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. It happens.”
“Obviously not to you. You’re in this water every day. You even get in without a boat. You pull people out of it.”
“Well, it’s been a few years,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
He steadied his gaze ahead of him as if looking at her would hurt too much. “I tried to become a rescue swimmer,” he said. “Right after . . .”
Her head turned woozy. “You . . . ?”
“I always swam, you know. I was good at it. But after that night—something changed.” This felt important, like a genuine connection, and she wasn’t about to interrupt. What if he thought better of it and closed back up?
“A lot of guys don’t make it,” he said. “I wasn’t going to be one of them. I was going to be the best.” He shifted. “I did awesome in the pool, but when we got into open water, I froze. I panicked. Forgot all my training. The only thing I could remember was that night. I failed.”
Louisa gazed back down at her shoes. “But you figured it out, right? I mean, look at you now.”
“It took some time, but yeah. I figured it out. I realized I didn’t have to be a rescue swimmer to be a part of the Coast Guard. That’s when I applied to the academy. There really wasn’t another option for me.”
She dared a glance up. “But why?”
He didn’t look at her. He seemed to be deciding whether or not to answer her question. “Because I was tired of the ocean winning.”
Louisa didn’t have to look at him to know his jaw was locked in a tense square. As she suspected, he saved lives to prove a point. He saved lives because he was trying to make up for the one who’d died to save his.
“How many people have you saved?” she asked.
He didn’t answer—not right away.
“Cody?”
“I don’t know.” He rolled up his sleeve and revealed six hash marks and a set of initials—his father’s—tattooed on the inside of his bicep. “But I know how many I’ve lost.”
She started to say something, but no words seemed appropriate.
“We’re back.”
She glanced up and saw they were at the marina, and something inside her shifted. She could swim from here to the dock if their boat capsized and went under. She’d be fine. She was safe. Because of him.
“You can probably petition for another partner,” she said as they reached the slip and he began to tie up the boat.
“Rules are rules, Chambers.” He half smiled at her, and her heart stuttered at the sight of it. “I’m stuck with you.”
“I think we can make an exception.”
“I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge.” He gave the rope a final tug. “And you just might be my biggest challenge yet.”
The words wound their way around her heart like warm hot chocolate weaving its way to an empty stomach. Maybe she shouldn’t allow them to give her hope, but she did. They did. They filled her right up, and for a moment, she even forgot what a fool she’d made of herself.
He stepped out of the boat and onto the dock, then reached both hands in her direction.
“Some challenges are more trouble than they’re worth.” She took his hands and stepped out, thankful to be on land again.
“Not you, though,” he said. “You’ve always been worth every bit of trouble.”
She tried not to read into his comment, which could clearly be taken as flirtation. This time, though, that didn’t upset her.
“I’ll take you home,” he said after he’d gathered their things.
“I’m fine,” she protested, but deep down, she wanted him to take her home. Maybe get reacquainted for a while. Maybe reacquaint herself with his lips?
“Louisa?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re zoning out again.” His brow was a deeply set line of worry.
“Sorry.”
“You do that a lot.”
“Sorry. I’ll pay better attention.” She slung her bag over her shoulder and fell into step beside him, and it occurred to her that in that moment, there was nowhere else in the world she’d rather be.
Louisa had received twenty-seven RSVPs to Maggie’s birthday party, including one from her own parents, one from the Meyers family who’d left the island six years ago and hadn’t returned due to their ailing health, and one from Freddy Santino, the man Maggie claimed was her first love. They’d gone to elementary school together, and the old lady swore he wouldn’t remember her in a million years.
But here he was, agreeing to come to the fish fry at the beginning of July.
Marissa Boggs had not responded.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
LOUISA STOOD ON THE PORCH OF HER PARENTS’ COTTAGE and inhaled a deep breath. It hadn’t been a great day. After her panic episode in the sailboat, Cody had driven her home, then told her if she needed a ride to get her Vespa later on, he could come back.