She assured him that Alyssa could take her, of course, and she’d already been enough of a burden on him. But secretly she wanted to tell him that yes, she would very much like to see him when he finished work that evening, and could he please stop by, and—oh, look, I just happened to make dinner for us and why, yes, it will be served by candlelight.
But things had grown quiet between them again on the ride to the cottage that used to be his and was now hers because she’d foolishly purchased it thinking somehow it would keep them connected.
She had so many questions she wanted to ask him: Had he ever looked her up? Did he still think about her? Would he like to get married and live happily ever after? So much for her post-Eric plan of swearing off love forever.
Of course, even she knew to keep these thoughts to herself.
She stared at the front door of her parents’ cottage. Was she doing the right thing? Should she do what Cody asked and butt out? Besides, if something had been going on between her mother and Daniel, did she even want to know?
It seemed counterproductive to keep digging when the only thing in the world she wanted was to put back together what she’d destroyed. Her family. Cody’s family. Her and Cody.
How did she do that?
She looked down at her feet and prayed for wisdom, something she did sometimes, though she noticed God seemed to have doled out fair amounts to everyone else while Louisa still waited in the wings for her portion.
“Louisa?” Her father’s voice spun her around. He stood in the yard wearing a fisherman’s hat (he didn’t fish) and carrying a bucket. Teddy lolled beside him.
“Teddy!” Louisa bounded over to the giant dog and rubbed his ears, speaking unrecognizable gibberish as was customary when addressing an adorable animal.
“Well, hello to you, too,” her father said.
“Hey, Dad.” She stood.
“Hey, kitten. It’s good to see you.”
He started walking around the house toward his precious hydrangea bushes. She and Teddy followed.
“So what brings you by?” He knelt down next to the flowers and removed a trowel from the bucket, which, she could see now, was filled with gardening tools. Teddy sniffed the tools for a handful of seconds, then harrumphed down onto the ground beside her father.
“I’m here to see Mom,” Louisa said.
“Did you knock? I think she’s inside.”
“No, you snuck up on me before I could.” She started off in the opposite direction, eager to talk with her mom while her dad was occupied.
“Don’t be a stranger,” he called out.
She walked in the back door and found her mother standing at the sink, filling a pitcher for sun tea and humming a song Louisa eventually recognized as “I Saw Her Standing There” by the Beatles.
The years had been kind to her mother. JoEllen’s dark-red hair was neatly cut into a longish bob that reached to her shoulders and curled under. She took care of herself and always seemed polished and professional, though Louisa knew she’d barely worked a day in her life.
It baffled her, really, that her mom had a college degree she had no desire to use.
“Hey, Mom.”
Her mother startled and hit the faucet on the sink. She spun toward Louisa and clutched her hand to her chest. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.”
Her mom waved her off. “It’s fine. You look tired. Have you been getting enough rest?”
“I’m okay.” I nearly died again this morning, but I know you don’t want to hear about that. You probably only want to talk about two things—yourself and when I’m going to reunite with Eric and give you grandchildren.
Her mom walked toward her, and for a brief moment Louisa wondered if the older woman might actually hug her or show some other sign of affection.
Instead, JoEllen stopped right in front of Louisa, gave her a once-over, then inched back. “You need to have your brows done.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Mother.”
“Of course it’s good to see you, Louisa.” Her mom walked back toward her pitcher of tea, screwed the lid on, then moved toward the front door. She set the pitcher on the porch and gave it a pat. “Do your thing, Mr. Sunshine.”
Louisa refrained from rolling her eyes. It occurred to her in that moment that her family was weird.
Was she weird? Oh, gosh, she was, wasn’t she?
“Louisa?”
“Hmm?”
“Still got your head in the clouds, I see.” Mom had gone back into the kitchen and had probably asked Louisa a question, but Louisa had no idea what it was.
“What did you say?”
“Honestly, Louisa. I really hoped you’d outgrow this daydreaming.”
“This daydreaming is the reason I’m now a successful business owner.”
Her mom raised a brow. “Successful?”
Louisa shrank under the accusation. She was successful. She had her own business. She paid her bills. Never mind that her bank account was nearly empty and she had no idea how she would ever pay for her impulse buy of one handsome Coast Guardsman.
“I suppose you must be if you have over five thousand dollars to give away at a charity auction.” Her raised brow seemed to accuse.
“It’s for a good cause.” Louisa sat on the tall stool at the kitchen island and plucked a grape from the bunch in the fruit bowl on the counter.
In the lull, Louisa wondered if part of the reason it had become so important to repair the relationship between her family and Cody’s was because of this thinly veiled tension that always existed between her and her mother. Had it been there before Daniel had died? Did she really think that making things right between Marissa and her parents would fix her own relationship with them?
Louisa knew her mother blamed her for Daniel’s death. She’d implied as much more than once.
The day Louisa had told her she’d decided to move to Nantucket full-time and work for the hotel, her mom said, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? It will be a constant reminder that your actions have consequences.”
Louisa hadn’t bothered correcting her. She hadn’t taken the time to explain that she’d already learned that lesson and was currently punishing herself for it on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis.
Louisa had always believed her mother’s passive-aggressive anger toward her was a result of the fact that she’d lost Marissa, her best friend in the world. But now, in light of what Cody suspected, she wondered if it was more than that.
The thought of it made Louisa’s stomach roll.
“Are you here to ask for money?”
“What? No. I’ve been on my own for years, Mom.”
Her mother took a Diet Coke from the refrigerator.
“Still drinking that, are you?”
She opened the bottle and poured it into a glass. “Leave me alone. I know all about how bad it is for me.”
“You know aspartame is worse than real sugar.”
“Why are you here, Louisa?”
“Can’t a girl stop by and say hello to the parents who never text or call?”
“Oh, Louisa, you’ve always been so dramatic.” Her mother took a drink. “So have you had a sailing lesson yet?”
In a flash, Louisa was back on that boat, touching Cody’s T-shirt, inhaling the scent of his aftershave, hearing the sound of the birds, and wondering how it might taste if he brought his lips to hers.